Well, I guess I need some clarification as to the significance of the accord.
I agree, it was chosen to demonstrate that the man was frugal, or , perhaps chosen to demonstrate that he was not terribly concerned with material trappings.
But, frugality or lack of concern with material possessions leading to his wife's cheating, I do not follow. I know many successful lawyers (I've practiced for almost 30 years, make a comfortable living etc) but my car is just a tool to get from point A to B.
But, now that you mention it, I think my XW may have pointed to my fnancial conservatism as justification for her cheating.
But, i think that reflects poorly on her vs mre bbeing cheap.
Like the wife in the film, my wife stayed home and had mors material goods than many woman. Her main interests were shopping and tanning.
Remeber, the wife in this movie, despite having been busted by her impressionable daughter, never quit the affair, never showed remorse, and simply shipped the daughter back to school without getting her counseling or doing anything to alleviate the trauma she inflicted on the child.
The gebder of the cheater in this film does not enter into my analysis. if the H was acting like the wife, I would feel he was a terrible parent, as well.
But, he supported his family and took all kinds of abuse , in silence , from the manaic father in law.
IHeck he was completely oblivious to the affair and disintegration of their marriage.
Is this something you think BS's should be faulted for?
I was oblivious to my WW's affair for 3 months until the OM
slipped up and sent an errant text early in the a.m.
We had a great, normal sex life over those 3 months
like nothing else was going on. She was leading a separate life.
She was going crazy inside of herself and didn't tell me about it.
She compartmentalized it from the rest of the world.
Is that MY fault? Because she deceived and lied to me?
Kind of insulting if that's the case... although you're entitled to your opinion.
Maybe, just maybe, as a full functioning adult, the wife had a duty to express her dissatisfaction and take steps to make the marriage better.
remeber, in addition to the daughter being angry about her mom's cheating, the daughter also lashed out about the mom's superficiality.
Maybe, just maybe, as a full functioning adult, the wife had a duty to express her dissatisfaction and take steps to make the marriage better.
remeber, in addition to the daughter being angry about her mom's cheating, the daughter also lashed out about the mom's superficiality.
Liam,
This is exactly the way I saw it. The scene with the father in law was priceless. And the best part of it was him hammering clooney, for being cheap with her. Hmmm - she did not have to earn any money despite the fact that their two kids were in school. Only a dysfunctional first world culture could describe a man like that cheap. He provided his wife a beautiful home, the funds for private schooling at least one child, the freedom to not have to work. (while not explicit - the absence of any communication with an employer made that bit very clear). He also provided his wild, adventurous wife stability. Emotional stability. While she attempted to provide him/them with spontaneity and excitement.
She cheated due to boredom, yawn, that was hard to decipher. To at least try for some balance, the movie shows him as viewing her from a parental angle, and ignoring the fact that her adventurousness, and love of excitement were the initial basis for attraction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigLiam
I do not think Clooney was negligent or stingy. Thye had a beautiful house. Appeared the wife did not work and had a lot of outside interests. He did not want his kids to grow up becoming indulged brats.
He indicated he was dissatisfied with his wife, as she was with him. Many of the BSs here are in that boat,often being less the source of the problems in the marriage thnan the cheater. Yet, Clooney did not cheat.
I think you have to taqke the wife's dad's characterization of Clooney's stinginess with a grain of salt. Even though the dad was in pain, his abusiveness was incredible.
I really liked how the kids became close to their dad. I thought, now , with the cheater gone, he might meet a better partner.
Agreed,MEM. In some threads, one sees a sort of sexism toward males, urging them to be alpha, criticizing them for not being romantic enough or providing enough entertainment. In this case, there seems to be an assumption by Havesomething, that the husband had some sort of duty to dispense part of his inheritance to the wife, while she, essentially, brought nothing to the table, financially.
It boggles my mind that driving an accord, not buying her a boat, and living on what must have been a very decent income, is looked upon as somehow justifying/causing his wife's cheating.
It was obvious to me that the wife was an immature party girl type who felt enttitled to things. Otherwise, why no job?
Agreed,MEM. In some threads, one sees a sort of sexism toward males, urging them to be alpha, criticizing them for not being romantic enough or providing enough entertainment. In this case, there seems to be an assumption by Havesomething, that the husband had some sort of duty to dispense part of his inheritance to the wife, while she, essentially, brought nothing to the table, financially.
It boggles my mind that driving an accord, not buying her a boat, and living on what must have been a very decent income, is looked upon as somehow justifying/causing his wife's cheating.
It was obvious to me that the wife was an immature party girl type who felt enttitled to things. Otherwise, why no job?
Again you're making assumptions as to what I think. The point of the movie was there was very little said and certainly the wife's side will never be known. I certainly don't expect her to spend the inheritance. What I expect is for a happily married couple to share experiences and to LIVE. Do not take my comments to be that I am indifferent and am taking the wife's side. I enjoyed the movie and how it handled the story.
My disgust was their best friends and the husband knowing of the affair and at the least not warning him.
You see a party girl, I see a wife unhappy and the husband oblivious. There were no answers, mostly questions. Posted via Mobile Device
Liam,
I remember the first "big financonflict" my wife and I
UOTE=BigLiam;814442]Agreed,MEM. In some threads, one sees a sort of sexism toward males, urging them to be alpha, criticizing them for not being romantic enough or providing enough entertainment. In this case, there seems to be an assumption by Havesomething, that the husband had some sort of duty to dispense part of his inheritance to the wife, while she, essentially, brought nothing to the table, financially.
It boggles my mind that driving an accord, not buying her a boat, and living on what must have been a very decent income, is looked upon as somehow justifying/causing his wife's cheating.
It was obvious to me that the wife was an immature party girl type who felt enttitled to things. Otherwise, why no job?[/QUOTE] Posted via Mobile Device
I will make a new assumption since you are all convinced that is all I do. George Clooney was an abusive husband and alcoholic who couldn't get it up. She was a cold, unfeeling, moneygrubbing, shrew, who wanted to milk him for every penny and not just a cheater, but a serial cheater. Posted via Mobile Device
Liam,
It sure seemed that most of their negative emotional "torque" was caused by her sense of entitlement as to the level of luxury he was expected to provide with no financial contribution from her at all.
Any male with reasonable boundaries would either see that on their own, or recognize it when it is pointed out.
I remember the first major financial dustup my W and I had after she decided to be a SAHM. Up until that disagreement, it was smooth sailing because we have similar views on money, and we treated "our" money responsibly and lived well within our means.
But this was a case of my W wanting to start giving money to someone who was living (and would continue to live) beyond their means. After a brief exchange I recall saying:
If this is that important to you, you can work a part time job and use ALL the after tax, after expense (clothes, travel, other) income to support "this persons" lifestyle for as long as you wish.
Long quiet period follows. And then my painfully honest wife says to me "I guess this isn't nearly as important to me as I thought". Not one to pile on I just remarked that her kindness and desire to help others was generally a very positive thing. And that sometimes it is hard to know what "help" is for an adult who is not managing their money and never has. Especially when that adult is a relative.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigLiam
Agreed,MEM. In some threads, one sees a sort of sexism toward males, urging them to be alpha, criticizing them for not being romantic enough or providing enough entertainment. In this case, there seems to be an assumption by Havesomething, that the husband had some sort of duty to dispense part of his inheritance to the wife, while she, essentially, brought nothing to the table, financially.
It boggles my mind that driving an accord, not buying her a boat, and living on what must have been a very decent income, is looked upon as somehow justifying/causing his wife's cheating.
It was obvious to me that the wife was an immature party girl type who felt enttitled to things. Otherwise, why no job?
Again you're making assumptions as to what I think. The point of the movie was there was very little said and certainly the wife's side will never be known. I certainly don't expect her to spend the inheritance. What I expect is for a happily married couple to share experiences and to LIVE. Do not take my comments to be that I am indifferent and am taking the wife's side. I enjoyed the movie and how it handled the story.
My disgust was their best friends and the husband knowing of the affair and at the least not warning him.
You see a party girl, I see a wife unhappy and the husband oblivious. There were no answers, mostly questions. Posted via Mobile Device
Good movie. Regardless of her side, she was not justified in cheating on her family and traumatizing her kids.
Can you beleive she just sent her daughter back to boarding school without getting her help? That speaks volumes about the woman, IMO.
Liam,
This stuff kills me. People posting about how "perceptive" they are and then using an example of the car a guy chooses FOR HIMSELF as proof he is stingy. This is a guy who is portrayed as spending most of the family income on his wife and kids - but since he isn't materialistic he is stingy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigLiam
Good movie. Regardless of her side, she was not justified in cheating on her family and traumatizing her kids.
Can you beleive she just sent her daughter back to boarding school without getting her help? That speaks volumes about the woman, IMO.
Liam,
This stuff kills me. People posting about how "perceptive" they are and then using an example of the car a guy chooses FOR HIMSELF as proof he is stingy. This is a guy who is portrayed as spending most of the family income on his wife and kids - but since he isn't materialistic he is stingy.
Wow Mem11363 you really, really miss the point. Americans are very materialistic and cars often are representative of that. They all (many) buy above and beyond their means. An accord is a classic example of an "old man sedan" as we called mine. Very practical and specifically meant to show a point. This is the same as Larry David (worth $250 million) on Curb Your Enthusiasm driving a practical Prius Hybrid. He was worth and was inheriting many millions. Agreed he provided a very nice life for his family, but we were told so little. Maybe the book revealed more.
Quit obsessing over a small detail to create an issue. I was only using it as a vehicle to validate my point. It was done purposefully. If he drove a lexus/mercedes/luxury vehicle no one would have batted an eye. Posted via Mobile Device
Have,
Agreed. The movie seemed to imply that he did not meet her need for excitement. That need is valid and it is powerful. Lots of ways to meet it - if you are willing to acknowledge it as valid and important to your partner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Havesomethingtosay
Wow Mem11363 you really, really miss the point. Americans are very materialistic and cars often are representative of that. They all (many) buy above and beyond their means. An accord is a classic example of an "old man sedan" as we called mine. Very practical and specifically meant to show a point. This is the same as Larry David (worth $250 million) on Curb Your Enthusiasm driving a practical Prius Hybrid. He was worth and was inheriting many millions. Agreed he provided a very nice life for his family, but we were told so little. Maybe the book revealed more. Quit obsessing over a small detail to create an issue. I was only using it as a vehicle to validate my point. It was done purposefully. If he drove a lexus/mercedes/luxury vehicle no one would have batted an eye. Posted via Mobile Device
BTW, Unfaithful was on last night and I will admit the 10 minutes I saw (my wife would never watch the movie) was precisely the point the spouse (Diane Lane) was seduced.
She is riding back on the train and they cut between the seduction, the sex, and vignettes of the appearance of an idealistic life at home with a loving husband and son, where they are affectionate, laughing and a family and it is jarring.
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Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity 
