The Descendants - Take on Infidelity
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-19-2012, 02:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Watched it the other night and very interesting how they view the topic and it is handled.... Interested in opinions

SPOILER ALERT

So he finds out from his daughter that his wife was having an affair (she is in a coma and will die). How does he react and those around him is very nteresting.

We get some clues why she had an affair and know Clooney was a good, but probably not a great husband. We see how others covered up the affair, and still others who think she was a wonderful mother/wife. Without saying much we make judgements on their marriage.

He then goes about finding who she cheated with and to get an answer or two. Interesting is what would have happened if none of this disclosure took place.

It seems that they would have continued in their merry way, two families with a secret.

Lot's to think about, in a movie that really does not say that much.

Reading user comments on IMDB I also find fascinating, as those who do not like the movie I think miss reading between the lines and understanding the subtlety of the story and the affair and what it did.

I think reading TAM and being in my late 40's too has made me very perceptive when I see a movie like this.

Hope to see some discussion...... Agree/Disagree????
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

I'm not sure what you want us to agree (or disagree) with...
I mindlessly went to this movie with my wife. Just before major
surgery on her, and just before our anniversary. My bad! I should
have read a spoiler first. Very depressing for me, in 2nd marriage.
1st ended due to exww ea/pa with co-worker. 2nd going well.
So, if you are the decision maker for post-op serious issues,
or you think infidelity should be taken to the grave... (except for
the daughter knowing...) DO NOT see this movie.
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Quote:
Originally Posted by code7600 View Post
I'm not sure what you want us to agree (or disagree) with...
I mindlessly went to this movie with my wife. Just before major
surgery on her, and just before our anniversary. My bad! I should
have read a spoiler first. Very depressing for me, in 2nd marriage.
1st ended due to exww ea/pa with co-worker. 2nd going well.
So, if you are the decision maker for post-op serious issues,
or you think infidelity should be taken to the grave... (except for
the daughter knowing...) DO NOT see this movie.
~~~~
"What we have here is a failure to communicate." The Captain
Just curious as to people's reaction to the movie and how the Affair was handled.

I very much liked the movie. I found the scene where he confronts his wife's BF and husband very powerful and well played with accusations and what we saw was a beta husband who basically kept his mouth shut, finally giving Matt King (Clooney's character) a name.

The teenage daughter and her emotions catching her mom and how she denied and then as said here 'trickle truth' again an interesting discussion point.

Also the OMW and her well acted role was interesting.

Just wanted to talk about the movie and here is probably the best place.
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Old 02-19-2012, 04:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

I got into personal hangups, as I often do.
They got several points right, at least by the stories here.

Toxic friend saying 'you go girl, you deserve it.' And the
quit beta husband you cited.

The AP saying 'it just happened' during a party. Classic poor
boundaries.

Affair down - Matthew Lillard is no Clooney. See scooby-do or
13 ghosts.
OMW has a gut feeling, and confronts.

So, it was well researched for the cliches. It was un-satisying
for never answering the 'why' question Matt had. But again, that
is typical of real life.

But, like Crazy, Stupid Love, I would not suggest it for anyone
going through or having gone through infidelity. Movie treatment
is just a little too glib.

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Old 02-19-2012, 06:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Very much liked both movies. I just thought the Descendants handled it well, as there were questions never answered, which allowed the movie goers to speculate and discuss.

Also the father and his comments, all the while Clooney biting his lip.

Maybe those confronting Infidelity may feel different. I however very much found it thought provoking.

Clooney was not the best father/husband, but we didn't know much outside what we listened to and were told in the movie, much like those here in CWI.
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Old 02-19-2012, 06:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

If this movie is just going to be one large trigger, then I'll pass. Thanks for the heads up.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Haven't seen the movie, but I would imagine that most normal folks would think the unanswered question sucked. But for the many that went through this crap called infidelity I would say it was a complete story and would know why the unanswerd questions were all part of the complete story.

hsts. I'll check out the movie, but if I get triggers I'm blaming you! LOL
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Watched it last week and both me and H liked it. The unanswered question were great! We both have never experienced cheating but my friend who watched went back depressed.
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Old 02-19-2012, 07:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

My wife and I both thought it sucked. It was depressing. Not entertainment unless you like torture. No infidelity between the two of us (I hope). The husband worked his ass off while she played. Her daughter couldn't even stand her. Typically, all the OM was interested in was her a$$.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

I had no clue what this movie was about. So downloaded and watched the movie with the wife. When the infidelity thing came out I felt very bad. I really have had enough - so didnt like the movie to perturb me - Also had a very nasty day after.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Other than the daughter part, would you say then this may be a similar plot to the movie Harrison Ford did years ago (think it was Ransomed Hearts?? or something like that) where he discovers his wife's affair after she & her lover die in a plane crash together? I don't remember there being an answer/closure in that one either.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Quote:
Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
If this movie is just going to be one large trigger, then I'll pass. Thanks for the heads up.


My wife has suggested this movie several times. I have had to control myself the last couple of times to not ask her if she is serious in suggesting it. The evidence of her affair is convincing but she denies anything.


Quote:
Originally Posted by code7600 View Post

if you think infidelity should be taken to the grave... (except for
the daughter knowing...) DO NOT see this movie.
Is it a clear message that infidelity should be kept secret?
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:19 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

OH good to know.

I won't be seeing this movie LOL I can't handle these topics right now without triggers.

thanks for the post!
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:19 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Wasn't Harrison Ford in the one were he kills the OM and him and his wife stay together and she helps him out when the cops question him.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: The Descendants - Take on Infidelity

Nah that was Richard Gere who was the betrayed husband in Unfaithful. Diane Lane was the unfaithful wife.
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