ak47

We live in the Carolinas on the east coast. My wife of 18 years had an emotional affair with a guy she met on a girls trip to Vegas two years ago. The affair (she still only calls it a friendship) lasted from April 10th, 2010 through June 16th, 2010....and then again from early March 2011 through May. All the signs were there.....the lies, the deception, the outright denial. It has literally destroyed me and our relationship. This May will be one year since she ended her "friendship" with this guy....but it still haunts me every day. Her "friend" lives in Southern California and we live on the East Coast.....her affair was all talking on the phone (over 90 hours in three months) and texting around the clock. Why does this hurt me so badly? After all, I was the one who was a jerk to her in the months leading up to these incidents....in some ways I deserve it. I just am so crushed by the feeling that I got stabbed by the one person who should always have my back. She swears it was only a friendship but friends (who are both married) don't talk and text that much (night and day). I am just tired of feeling so hurt over all of this and want it to go away but our marriage is forever changed now. She and I are in concealing and she wants it to work....but I am so upset still and she thinks I should just "get over it" - am I all wrong for feeling so betrayed?

Jellybeans

No, you're not wrong for feeling betrayed because you were in fact betrayed.

I think one of the biggest problems here is that she won't own that it was more than "friendship." You are unlikely to feel better until she owns what happened/what she did/the nature of their involvement.

I am sorry for your pain.

skip76

you need to won the situation. once she realizes that you can seriously move on without her she might wake up. also for her and him to put forth such an effort i would find out what happened in vegas when they met. i doubt you know everything. maybe they are skyping, maybe he has flown out to see her. possibilities are endless. you need proof of her BS stories or you should not beieve them.

Falene

You feel betrayed because you were betrayed. What worries me is her total disregard for your feelings.

I think a 180 is in order here.

morituri

Have you asked her if the roles were reversed how she would feel?

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

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AngryandUsed

"Just friendship" is what cheaters always say. You will get a lot of views here.

TRy

Since she met him in person in Las Vegas, how can you be sure that it was only an emotional affair and not a physical affair?

bandit.45

Are you sure this was the first time she met him? Did you verify with her girlfriends tha they actually went with her to Vegas?

Did you ever read any of the emails and texts between them?

Have you been watching her e-mails since then?

Okie

There is a possibility she has taken the contact further underground. The lack of empathy for you is a pretty good indication that it may not have ended.