tacoma, there are many cases in which a man has been hit with a paternity suit years after the birth of a child and the courts have allowed the garnishing of his wages. By that time it becomes a very hard and expensive legal battle for the man to prove he's not the father and even if he was successful, the courts are more apt to follow the letter of the law as far as the time frame for contesting paternity. DNA vindication does not absolve you from this legal fact of life that many poor men have experienced through no fault of their own.
This is really nothing that a good lawyer can't fix.
The civil suit I'd launch after it was fixed would be enjoyable. Posted via Mobile Device
This is really nothing that a good lawyer can't fix.
The civil suit I'd launch after it was fixed would be enjoyable. Posted via Mobile Device
Actually, not true. Many states limit the time for contesting paternity. If not done so in a timely manner, a man can be on the hook no matter what, with no ability to contest it. This recently came up with respect to some single men who were not aware that they had been named the father until it was too late. I believe that occured in Florida.
Actually, not true. Many states limit the time for contesting paternity. If not done so in a timely manner, a man can be on the hook no matter what, with no ability to contest it. This recently came up with respect to some single men who were not aware that they had been named the father until it was too late. I believe that occured in Florida.
It seems that many here, especially men, are being naive in believing that this sort of thing doesn't happen. I'm quite sure they would be shocked if they did a little bit of research on the subject.
It seems that many here, especially men, are being naive in believing that this sort of thing doesn't happen. I'm quite sure they would be shocked if they did a little bit of research on the subject.
The one issue I see with not moving forward with the divorce is the complexity it can add to otherwise normal situations. A raise, a bonus or starting a new business may be complicated by a spouse deciding to complicate things. Paternity is another. Money can turn people into greedy jerks that will do things you did not think them capable of. Staying married gives them a hook to make a claim. Even if a person wins, the cost of doing so can be extremely high, and courts often do not award attorney's fees to the winner.
That being said, I don't see a problem with dating while separated, provided that you truly don't want to get back together. I would likely wait until the very end, only because I know myself and would want time to get my act together before doing any dating.
And to the men. Many States give a very limited amount of time, usually 2 years, for a husband to contest the paternity of a child born during the marriage. With that in mind, how would you feel if your estranged wife gets pregnant by another man, unbeknownst to you, puts your name as the father of the child on the birth certificate? In all States, a child born while married - though not fathered by the husband - is considered a child of the marriage.
Thinking on it a bit I`m now wondering how this has any bearing on having sex while divorcing.
A woman could do this whether her STBX was sleeping around or not.
The one issue I see with not moving forward with the divorce is the complexity it can add to otherwise normal situations. A raise, a bonus or starting a new business may be complicated by a spouse deciding to complicate things. Paternity is another. Money can turn people into greedy jerks that will do things you did not think them capable of. Staying married gives them a hook to make a claim. Even if a person wins, the cost of doing so can be extremely high, and courts often do not award attorney's fees to the winner.
Mike188 went through something like this and despite the financial cost, he still came out way ahead because he chose to fight his ex-wife tooth and nail rather than playing possum and praying that his ex-wife and her attorney showed mercy on him.
Besides, it's not one spouse's decision to divorce or not, the other spouse can choose to do so at any time of his/her liking. You gain nothing, and possibly end up worse, if you choose to procrastinate.
What if you weren't married? My partner and I were a couple for ten years and he cheated... Ok there were no marriage vows but our relationship was founded on the concept that we were exclusive. We had children together, bought a house together and lived as a married couple. He cheated, us not being married did not lessen the blow I infidelity for me.
But now we have been separated for over two months, he is still sleeping with his ap.
When am I allowed I date? Posted via Mobile Device
What if you weren't married? My partner and I were a couple for ten years and he cheated... Ok there were no marriage vows but our relationship was founded on the concept that we were exclusive. We had children together, bought a house together and lived as a married couple. He cheated, us not being married did not lessen the blow I infidelity for me.
But now we have been separated for over two months, he is still sleeping with his ap.
When am I allowed I date? Posted via Mobile Device
In my opinion, as soon as you feel emotionally ready.
ishe?, emotionally speaking, the same thing would apply in your situation although the legal consequences would be a moot point because you weren't married.
Thinking on it a bit I`m now wondering how this has any bearing on having sex while divorcing.
A woman could do this whether her STBX was sleeping around or not.
What difference does it make to the OP?
What am I missing?
The only difference I can see is that if caught soon enough, it makes it easier to fight if you are not married. When married, there is often a presumption attached, such as that the husband is the father. Divorcing deals with that.
That does not really go to the original post with respect to dating prior to divorce. It goes more to the idea of not procrastinating and getting the divorce finalized.
It's not a grey area. You're still married. Get a divorce if you want sex. Don't drag it on for years and then start seeing other people. That's just selfish.
I disagree. Sometimes there is a grey area in which other considerations must take presedence.
I have been miserable in my marriage for many years now. My basic emotional and physical needs hasn't been met for a long time. I would like to end our marriage on good terms without ruin my wife in the process. She is currently unemployed and would be able to support herself and pay for the house. Our child suffers from a serious mental disorder that causes depression and sucidal thoughts. I'm currently living somewhere else due to my work (we are still together relationshipwise).
I have the following options:
1. File for divorce immediately. Start dating other women and be happy. That option would leave my wife up the creek without a paddle both financially and emotionally. Our child might blame herself for the breakup and have another suicidal episode.
2. Put up with the shortcomings of my marriage and give up on ever having my emotional and physical needs met for at least another 10+ years or so if ever.
3. Start an Extra Martial Romance/Sex in secret while still married. Continue to support wife financially until she is able to get a job and can support herself. Keep child's mental health stable without the trauma of having her parents divorcing. File for divorce once wife can support herself and child's condition is stable.
4. Live separate but stay celibate for X amount of years until wife can support herself and child's mental health is stable. Then file for divorce. Even more years of have basic emotional and physical needs not met.
That does not really go to the original post with respect to dating prior to divorce. It goes more to the idea of not procrastinating and getting the divorce finalized.
I have been miserable in my marriage for many years now.
Which option do you think is best?
You have another option that doesn't simply justify divorce; your logic is not fully examined here, so look carefully at your straw-man argument.
You can divorce your wife and still pay for some of her expenses because you care (alimony?) and child support for your child. You can be honest with your wife so that there's a chance you guys might be able to end things amicably; treating her with dignity is a better way to ensure that than lying. And, you can be honest with your child about why this is happening so that she doesn't blame herself, making sure to schedule lots of time with your child even after the divorce and lots of counseling for her so that she doesn't become more suicidal.
Honesty will make you a better man; lying will not make you noble, no matter how you spin it. Don't be afraid to tell the truth; it won't make you a bad guy...but cheating will.
8Likes
Re: Legitimate Extra Marital Romance/Sex? 
