Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: USA All The Way
Re: What are the odds?
I had to re-read your other threads in order to get the full story. Okay, she has a messy break up with ex#1 (OM1) who cheated on her and she even co-signed a car loan with him. Then three years later, she's emailing ex#2 (OM2) and sexting about all the great sex they used to have, and it looks like she wanted to take it to a PA. But it ended after you confronted OM2 and threatened to expose the affair to the OMW.
Now you're wondering about those 3 years in between OM1 and OM2, if there have been other affairs that you didn't know about. And I see by another thread that your WW never gave you full disclosure, and your MC advised you to basically sweep it under the rug and focus on re-connecting.
So now you're feeling suspicious and resentful and really need to know about those 3 years. IMHO, you shouldn't waste your time thinking about those 3 years. Sure there could have been others, but then again, maybe not.
The problems right now is your WW and preventing other affairs in the future. I'm sorry, but its a very bad sign that your WW was cheating so early in your marriage. She NEVER got over OM1 AND OM2. It seems that you are the back up plan.
What do you think will happen if for example one day, OM2 is having problems in his marriage and contacts your WW? She was the pursuer in both of her EAs, right? Your WW has very low boundaries with respect to her exboyfriends. This could crop again in the future.
Edited to add:
There was yet ANOTHER man she was contacting BEHIND YOUR BACK? This makes her a serial cheater. I don't really see what kind of a future you can have with her. You will constantly be looking over your shoulder for the next OM. She really craves the attention from other men who is not her spouse. In her case, I think "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies to her.