Re: in shock
Read here and LEARN please for your own sake.
You have a long road ahead no matter what you ultimately choose to do. I am sorry you're here and "in the club" that none of us wants to belong to.
You need to first deal with getting honesty. He remembers making these phone calls that the records show he's made. He's not being honest. And if he can't now be honest, you have nothing to work for, nothing to fight to keep.
That means putting your foot down.
Expect trickle truth. Expect that you do NOT know everytung that happened yet... more is coming. Brace yourself. It is almost NEVER "just kissing"... I heard that for days and weeks... it was more, although supposedly not sex. First I heard they kissed once or twice. Then several times. Then fondling, phone sex, shirt off... just know that in a hiotel room on the road far from home, lonely drunk horny it is very difficult to imagine "only kissing".
Back to getting honesty: Decide what you *want* to know as far as details, then demand it gets spilled and revealed ALL, right now and keep on it till you are satisfied. Make it clear that no more lies will be tolerated.
Get 100% full transparency, now. Open access to cell phones, emails, chat logs, computer, devices, everything -- all open. Then look. Learn, investigate and validate what he's telling you.
Make 2 plans: One for if you decide to stay, how you will progress. And another one for if you split up with him, how that will go down. Because as you decide, things will start to spiral quickly and you will want to rely on what you've taken the time to plan.
Communicate -- speaking, writing, and listening, and don't avoid taking the time to write things down to keep them clear in your head or so that you will remember them.
Breathe, and remember to eat. Go slowly. Nothing has to get decided today. Good luck.