My wife came clean to her family,mine,her co-workers at church pre-school and I have questioned her over and over,not even the slightest change in any details.She also found out her ex-high school boyfriend lied to her a lot,the guys owns nothing and was a serial cheater in his relationships,had no plans to have a future with her and is a all around loser.She knows how close she came to losing me,the kids and the house.She was in fantasyland,says it was like a drug addiction,this wasy way out of character for her.She would like the R to move along faster but she knows that it goes at my speed.She also knows if it would have went physical we would have had no chance at this,I couldnt take that,and she understands if anything like this happens again there will be no trying again and the old HS Bf knows if we crosss paths,God have mercy on him because I wont.True remorse is there and she apoloziges over and ove everyday. Posted via Mobile Device
Calvin's wife here..we cheaters do want to sweep it under the rug..we cringe when our spouse brings it up..it hurts BUT I know it hurts him so much more..I betrayed him and am willing to talk about it but I admit I do the same thing, I say "can we please stop talking about this now?" Posted via Mobile Device
Calvin's wife here..we cheaters do want to sweep it under the rug..we cringe when our spouse brings it up..it hurts BUT I know it hurts him so much more..I betrayed him and am willing to talk about it but I admit I do the same thing, I say "can we please stop talking about this now?" Posted via Mobile Device
Last week a was reading H a thread from TAM and H told me that when the A comes up he doesn't get mad at me at all, he gets mad at himself for putting me in the position and causing me so much pain.
I dont get mad at him..i get mad at myself too..want it to go away even tho i know it wont..i blame myself totally and betrayed him and feel blessed for his forgiveness..altho he will never forget and yes i understand that and am supporting him the best i can Posted via Mobile Device
Just today I decided to hunt for a forum for help. Living in a foreign country, where lovely latinas abound. Husband has had EA with Irma...I found out, it stopped, then a year later when I was back in the states it started again, each time lasting about 6 months. SHe is 40 he is 65, I am 60. She had long beautiful hair, I have a boycut. She is voluptious, I have gained 15 lbs. since moving from the states 8+ years ago. She is certified massuese which is how he found her in the first place. He has seen her in her underwear, he admits to seeing her about every 2 weeks. She phones him on his cell, he goes outside for his privacy. He took her to lunch for her birthday. He paid her cell phone for 6 months+. THe latest discovery he swears it is over, he feels awful for hurting me again. ALthough he says there was no sex, he just could not let it go that far. But I don't see him grovelling for my forgiveness and I don't see him trying to win me back. Am I expecting too much. Am I a fool? And talk about triggers and dreams and wondering about all the details of which I know nada! I don't know if I want to continue to live in a marriage where I feel so insecure and vulnerable. He has the upperhand, the security, and I have none. I am so pissed and hurt and I don't know that I will ever feel good enough or what he really wants. How do I know he wont' go for a 3rd time back to an EA with her. Are EA's worse than full fledged sexual affairs? Thanks for listening
Just today I decided to hunt for a forum for help. Living in a foreign country, where lovely latinas abound.
I'm married to a Latina. They are indeed intoxicating and most hot-blooded men have a hard time resisting their allure. My wife's affair partner was definitely unable to resist her.
So sorry your husband succumbed.
Please start a new thread so we can zero down on your specific problem.
My wife came clean to her family,mine,her co-workers at church pre-school and I have questioned her over and over,not even the slightest change in any details.She also found out her ex-high school boyfriend lied to her a lot,the guys owns nothing and was a serial cheater in his relationships,had no plans to have a future with her and is a all around loser.She knows how close she came to losing me,the kids and the house.She was in fantasyland,says it was like a drug addiction,this wasy way out of character for her.She would like the R to move along faster but she knows that it goes at my speed.She also knows if it would have went physical we would have had no chance at this,I couldnt take that,and she understands if anything like this happens again there will be no trying again and the old HS Bf knows if we crosss paths,God have mercy on him because I wont.True remorse is there and she apoloziges over and ove everyday. Posted via Mobile Device
Wow! I could have written this. So close to mine, I won't even bother to type mine out.
the thing is, cheaters got to "fool around" at the expense of their spouse, while the spouse is left to pick-up the pieces of the betrayal.
what fun.
they'll always be ahead on the scoreboard. and yes, people do keep score. you'd be a liar if you said you didn't.
Bingo. Ditto. Agree. Concur.
That is the thing that constantly eats me up. She and ole boy got to have their fun. I saw things in their affair that I hardly ever got to see while married; desire, passion, lust, sponteneity. They made sure to be at their best when they hooked up; there were no hair rollers, sweat pants, or granny robes being worn for the sake of being 'comfortable'. She didn't try to delay things in the bed by bringing up bills or who was going to the next PTA meeting.
At the end of the day, I will always believe that she got over while I was guilt-tripped into sticking around and playing the loyal, reliable, dependable, dweeb for the sake of the kids. She had fun but I have to be more responsible and keep a smile on my face as if nothing happened.
It burns me down to the core... Posted via Mobile Device
It is hard work and will take the rest of our time as a married couple to mend and heal. There will be no 3rd time. He knows it and I know it and that is my safety net. That would be the breaking point and I think after all of this work, I would not regret kicking him out. It feels really great we both know this. I am holding the winning hand now. Power has shifted to me. We are doing the translation from English to Spanish of the no contact letter. It should go to Irma's mailbox next week. He also will write a letter to me that I may frame and hang by our bed. I may get it notarized, since I want him to detail everything about IF it happened again...I will keep living in the house and he moves out, he will give me half his pensions every month until I die, we have joint custody of our yellow lab who will remain on my property, I keep the cat and our SUV.
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Re: For BS's..getting over "it"... 
