He's been spending a lot of time with this girl still, and has been sleeping at hers once a week when her son is with his dad. He has told me he doesn't want a relationship with her but that she is all he has left in the world at the moment.
I don't really know what to do. All of his things are still in my house as he is looking for somewhere to live and staying at his parent's at the moment. One day he tells me he hasn't loved me for a long time, that he loves her and she's better than me.. but then he starts crying saying he doesn't mean it, he really loves me but feels I deserve better and he can't be with me because of everything he's done.
There is nothing to salvage, dear, if he's sleeping at her house at all.
You need to respect yourself cause he sure as hell doesn't.
The whole line about him not being sure and that he loves you but loves her too and wants to be with you but she's all she has is... stupid.
Your thread title is wrong too. A person who cannot cope with his/her guilt would be extremely remorseful and wouldn't even THINK about spending time with the OW after realizing the gravity/fallout their actions have done/produced.
This isn't a man who feels guilt.
This is a man who knows he did wrong and wants to string you both along.
The qusetion is, is, why are you letting him?
Tell him he has 24 hours to pick up his things or they are going in the trash. (Or you could just toss them away). Tell him you are done. He ahs GROSSLY disrespected you and continues to do so. The fact you even speak to him after calling him out on his affair AND he is still staying at her house means you have DOORMAT written all ove ryour forehead.
Why are you tolerating this????
Remove yourself as an option completely.
"I am done. Come get your things. I will not be second best and I will not tolerate an open relationship. You don't respect me, and I deserve better."
Done. End. Finito.