In the words of the great Ronald Reagan "TRUST BUT VERIFY!"
I had a client that his WW set up a misdirect. Her BS thought he was monitoring her FB and E-mail which did, with much drama, the AP fishing for the WW, communicating affection with strong rebukes by the WW, multiple NC demands the whole 9 yards. My client learned via a key logger that...they were very much in daily contact via "other" FB and e-mail accounts AND that she had a pre-paid cell phone and it's number, kept at work.
Trust but verify, second guess everything. Posted via Mobile Device
If your not a troll, you're a cuckold. Either way you don't deserve the advice you are getting. It is only dredging up the emasculating that the men on here suffered because of their own WWs. You may ask for advice, but since you don't listen to it, it is a waste of time, to those here trying to help people who are actually willing to make an effort to improve their lot.
He can't do something simple like changing all their phone numbers, deleting the facebook account? And no, he refuses to install any keyloggers or get any VARs. He's typical of the minority of BSs that come here wanting advice, but get defensive when they get the advice that they don't want to hear.
There's only one way that you can remove this guy, and that will land you in prison. Your wife is the one who has to remove him. Until she does that, you will be forever in this purgatory. I suggest you do some reading on codependent relationships. Please take better care of yourself.
She still tells me she loves him etc and I hope those feelings will fade
You're still the loser in this. She might have stayed with you but you did not win at all. Why would she need to come around, you're allowing her to be like that by putting on the kid gloves.
Oh honey, take all the time you want. I know you love another man but it's ok I'll still love you.
File and if she doesn't want to get back on board with the marriage move on with your life. To get the OM out of your life forever, you have to be willing to give up your wife also right now.
It's all or nothing, not this I love him but will stay with you and be miserable because I can't be with the man I love. You know how pathetic that sounds?
But love blinds everything, so have at it. She may come around or she may just be a zombie for the rest of her life living with you.
Try his name and number on spokeo.com. Make up a fictitious attractive girls facebook page with pictures and request him to be your friend. Someone did this to their boyfriend/husband (?), led them on to show they would pretty much cheat with anyone. You could get all his facebook info that way.
If she were out of her fog by now she would be either coming back to you or telling you she is still unhappy in the marriage and wants out. The fact that she is still insisting that she loves the OM means they are still communicating. You say that we don't know every situation. I say the situation does not matter. These things follow a predictable pattern. Its based on human behavior so unless you are going to tell us your wife isn't human then you are just refusing to acknowledge that the advice you have and are receiving is correct. Whatever, its your marriage......and your divorce.
I've been bending to her tune yes. It's called being a p*ssy. I'm going to give her time to get thru withdrawal. I need positive signs by end march or D goes ahead. Any sign of om contact in that time gives immediate filing. Any big bust ups that I can't stay silent to result in filing. I may just file anyway. This torture is bad for my health. I listened to a few stories today of ppl going or who have gone thru similar. They were in pieces except the scum who ruined 2 families to be with his childhood sweetheart just like om and my wife.
Any tips or advice? Is hiring a PI a good idea so I can engineer his removal from our lives to give my wife a chance of getting over her feelings?
Your wife has to make this decision. You cannot make it for her. You cannot control her feelings.
Please, try to get the other man out of your lives. Find out about him, tell his wife what is going on. You should have done that much sooner, when this first blew up. Do it now.
But, just keep in mind, you may wind up losing your marriage no matter what you do. Only your wife can control your wife.
She carried the affir on 3 months after DD nd only stopped because of stress?
It sounds like she is angry at you for ending her happy life as a cheater,. She certainly doesn't seem to have any guilt or remorse. Sorry to say it, but unless she has remorse the marriage will not be ble to be rebuilt.See remorse is her admitting she was wrong and her desiring that she had never done it. [/i][/size]
I had a similar reconcilliation with my stbxw and yes no remorse means an end to the marriage for sure
Thanks for the abuse. They were in contact. I did have a keylogger. Her phone now has a callblocker. I have discovered where he lives and he is now feeling the consequences of his actions. My wife has spyphone on her mobile but I know he will not want her in touch. All comm channels are shut. Any I've missed? Fb is blocked and monitored.
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Re: 2 weeks since she has had no contact 
