So you will never be sure about the abortion I guess. How were you sure that John never visited the city or you don't just give a f*ck about it now?
I think john is gone long ago.
She put the john in a jar for years without looking into it until our recent fall down and my recounting of our past has started again. Otherwise she would let me know. She is different, she would'nt hide.
She cheats on you, repeatedly, leaves you and you keep paying her bills and taking her back,
I doubt she has any respect for you at all. She certainly has no love and doesn't seem to have ever had any.
Are you sure the kids are yours? Posted via Mobile Device
I am worst than a doormat.
Hard to believe but I am the love of her life. I am her platonic love that she can not have after all the wrong things she did.
During the roughly first half of our marriage, I payed the bills and she helped. For the second half she has been paying all of the bills. Overall, she put more money to us than I did. Now she is in a very good state when it comes to her carrier.
When we met she was a college student. For the first half of our marrige, I changed who she was. She was in a suicide mission with her life. Under my control (yes I was controlling in a good way), She (I) changed her field of study. She had much more than a college degree, academically. Then I literally placed her into her first job. When thirty years old, she had the oportunity of having the dilemma of thinking about retiring next year as a rich person or working for another year and retiring even richer. She immensly owned and enjoyed all I gave to her. She always acknowledged my input, except when gas lighting time came, yes I was painted as controlling too.
None of us are in this for each others money, we can both make good money on our own.
Not totaly, in fact barely. We are in the process of a change. There is no way of mending the things which are broken, I can not take her back as my mate, which ever it means. I am all alone now on, even if I die in her arms years later.
I am not a believer of any type of reconciliation now and not just for us. I believed that reconciliation after an affair was possible, we tried it in the past, could we do it in a better manner, yes, we skipped many necessery steps. Either way it doesn't worth it.
Is anybody familiar with the French movie Betty Blue ?
My wife bears many similarities with her. She is (wife) borderline. She is very passionate when you are at her white side and she is a demon if you are on here black side. Some how she kept me at her white side even when she is having her affairs. She is also very unique, atractive, womenly, giving if you catch her at her good moments.
During our times before our marriage. She was such a keeper. She was deeply madly in love with me. Would die for me. Once, I was going to take a verbal exam at a college where I was applying for graduate studies in an engineering field. She went there without my knowledge, posed as an engineering graduate, who is going to apply for herself and took a long briefing with one of the professors about how is that verbal exam going to be. She had took very detailed notes of the conversation for me . She had nothing to do with engineering let alone being graduate of anything at the time.
She always thought I was too good for her. She never felt contend with me. It was just cute of her for me at the begining. But later, her feeling of inadequicy played a big role. As her demons started tingling her mind, as she started destroying both our lives, I let my dissatisfaction known. It made it harder for her to stay on her sane side. Then she became open to affairs and other mistakes she made just to have a little relief.
I always felt that I was dealing with a sick person in my family which made me stay for so long.
I am really glad you revealed the rest of your story. If it is not too much to ask, why did it take you so long? As a matter of fact, after reading this, it looks like you wandered a bit.
You posted this in the infidelity section. What kind of advice are you looking for here? Do you want to stay married to your wife? What does your wife want?
I think you should buy at least two books to read that may help you a lot. "His Needs Her Needs" and "Married Man Sex Life". These books give us a lot of insite into relationships, particularly because men and women have thought processes that are totally different. Good luck, this is a great place to get other people's advice and opinions. Some you will just have to overlook for obvious reasons.
If she wanted to go and put a little logic, action plan behind it, I would let her go.
During about first month after abortion, she said "I am leaving" in tears one morning and left for work, I know her, it was just a hollow statement. After she is back, I asked, how did she come up with that. I didn't mean it is not appropriate. I just wanted to know how she came to that and what her plans were. I could have agreed.
She answered "I thougt you wanted it".
For the record I said "No I didn't say that, I just said divorce is a very viable option and can happen"
And she said "Ohh, OK" She didn't leave.
I have been drinking almost every day after our arguments started. About four or five times, I became verbally hard on her about her mistakes and how it is hard to make things any better after all. I am not going to explain for too long about my drinking and abusing my wife, there has never been such a thing, ever. On the last episode, I told her to "**** off of my life" she was crying already, she asked me "do you really want me to do that ?" I said yes. She packed and left with kids to her parents home. Kids didn't see us arguing but they were sleeping and it was late. My 4 year old son picked some signals and started crying on the way. It was the worst thing I did in my life. Next morning, I called her back and she was back with kids. This is when I realised that if it is going to be like that staying together wasn't going to be good for kids. After that I put everything on hold.
I don't want to do anything drastic with two young kids in the picture. First, I want to know what can I do, then I want to understand and believe what she can do. After we decide that the seperation is the option to go, we need to talk to our son's child psychologist and only then, act on our decision.