I am pissed of as never before.
SKIP TO POST #105 FOR A SINGLE POST VERSION OF MY STORY.
Wife and I are together for 22 years and married for 20 years
I am 46 years old, wife is 41.
We have two kids, age 5 years and 18 months (why wait for so long to have children ? anyways,,,,,).
We had an unplanned pregnancy 4 months ago. I was really excited and happy but not really being able to share it with my wife because of her being panicked and disturbed attitude about it.
I was happy for the prospect of having another baby and she was not.
Two months ago and two months into pregnancy, she had the abortion. I was surprised how swiftly she acted on having the
abortion and did it before I realised that it was really going to happen.
She didn't want the baby mainly because, according to her, she is the sole bread winner lately and she couldn't take more responsibility. I'd give it to her, if I didn't know her beliefs and where she stands for all those years. She (and I) continued to express guilt and sorrow for the abortion we had during the early times of our relationships 20 years ago.
Financially there wasn't any immediate concern. Where we live, a women continues to be paid in full and plus during the pregnancy and after the delivery while having the 6 months (or more) leave of work. We have the best insurance coverage, great doctors, hospitals. And having another sibling would'nt put our two kids future in jeopardy, for financial reasons at least.
She adores our kids. She values life so that she (would) put(s) her life on the line for others, animals' included. She menages to stay vegetarian despite of being a gourme meat lover inside. She supports charities for abondened, mistreated kids, donates and works for them, sometimes comes home crying for some of the kids she met and would adopt one, last year if I'd go for it (I think).
Well again, I was surprised.
If it was a well layed out movie it would lead to something extraordinary about her not wanting that baby. Don't get the wrong idea, baby was mine, I think.... And I don't think that she had any affair around the time of that pregnancy, I think........
The abortion was the turning point. Before, we were just back from a realy nice holliday and after we were crumbling into pieces in every meaning.
Next day after the abortion, late morning, she called me from work and blasted me about me not calling her to ask her how is she doing. She started preaching me about how I don't care about her well being and don't suport her on the phone.
I had cried and threw up twice already then. I lost it there. I gave her the whole nine yards. Started with reminding her how we celebrated our first two borns first scans, the whole graphics like baby already having the arms and legs, feeling the pain of being thorn apart, etc....We had the first (appearently last) ultrasound scan and images of the baby few days ago.
I hope I did'nt go against forum rules here. I don't want to start a debate about abortion and it is the least of my concerns right now. I can't cut it short to the point most of the time, still I want to come across with where I am, that's all.
She ended up visiting the closest shrink immediatedly after our phone conversation.
I know I'm posting to CWI, I'll come to infidelity and desperately trying to cope with it part soon. Now it is really late here and I need to listen to some music before I try to catch some sleep.
Thanks for reading. I'll continue, put things into focus and look forward for your opinions.
I too say, I wish I had TAM and you guys, 20, 18 and 12 years ago.
Did I say "Borderline Personality Disorder", we got that too, not an official diagnosis though, just my biased opinion.
Last edited by SweetAndSour; 12-03-2012 at 11:23 AM.