So, apparently, OM threatened to "**** up my world" if I continue ****ing with him. I am still working on the package of logs and texts, but any suggestions at this point? Is there a reason to not send a physical copy, but offer to show her everything at a coffee shop? Legally speaking?
Wife brigs up the texts a lot now, says I am prolonging the pain, hurting OMW, etc. All this while I neither confirm or deny or say anything about anything. She is closer to remorse than any time in the past. Posted via Mobile Device
So how would OM know all this and threaten you if your WW was not still in contact with him and you telling her all your plans? Obviously she has broken NC and is still protecting her OM. That should tell you everything right there about where she stands.
The number 1 rule of exposure is NEVER tell your WS that you are going to expose. You've already lost the edge here. OM has already most likely spun the story to his wife about some crazy, jealous husband of his "friend" who is going to try and break up their marriage and NOT to believe anything that this batsh!t crazy husband will tell her.
So now, you may encounter resistance and denial from the OMW. She may not even bother to even LOOK at the evidence you might send her. But you need to do it anyway, what she does with the evidence is her problem. Its the right thing to do. If she deletes the evidence without looking at it, then there's nothing you can do.
OM will also be on the lookout to intercept any communication between you and his BW. Now exposure is much more difficult because you've been telling your WW that you might expose OM. Just do it already.
So, apparently, OM threatened to "**** up my world" if I continue ****ing with him. I am still working on the package of logs and texts, but any suggestions at this point? Is there a reason to not send a physical copy, but offer to show her everything at a coffee shop? Legally speaking?
Wife brigs up the texts a lot now, says I am prolonging the pain, hurting OMW, etc. All this while I neither confirm or deny or say anything about anything. She is closer to remorse than any time in the past. Posted via Mobile Device
This is very very good news!
First - it tells you that you are having an impact with exposure!
Second - he's still very much in contact with your wife.
Third - she'll acting as his agent and is still choosing her AP over her marriage.
So you know that giving these things to his wife will help hurt the affair, will make it costly for him to continue in it, and that you still need to do these things because the affair is still very much active.
Oh, and as for %^%^ your world - yeah he's already done that by being part of the affair. What he can do is done and over, it's your turn now.
Why do these people not listen? The reason many of these situations end up in divorce is because they do not heed the advice they're given. Everyone here has gone through this at one point or another. We come here and offer advice because we care. Some have reconciled, some have divorced but all have been through hell and want to try to help others in the same situation. OP, you are causing your marriage's demise step by step. When you get racked over the coals in divorce court you will wonder why you didn't heed the advice given here.
So, apparently, OM threatened to "**** up my world" if I continue ****ing with him. I am still working on the package of logs and texts, but any suggestions at this point? Is there a reason to not send a physical copy, but offer to show her everything at a coffee shop? Legally speaking?
Wife brigs up the texts a lot now, says I am prolonging the pain, hurting OMW, etc. All this while I neither confirm or deny or say anything about anything. She is closer to remorse than any time in the past. Posted via Mobile Device
Of course she tells you that. You're screwing up her fantasy. Do you seriously think she CARES that OMW is 'hurting?' Hell, SHE caused the pain! What a crock.
As for OM, go straight to the police station and file a report that you have been threatened. GET IT IN THEIR RECORDS.
And of course you should give OMW every single bit of detail.
So, apparently, OM threatened to "**** up my world" if I continue ****ing with him. I am still working on the package of logs and texts, but any suggestions at this point? Is there a reason to not send a physical copy, but offer to show her everything at a coffee shop? Legally speaking?
Wife brigs up the texts a lot now, says I am prolonging the pain, hurting OMW, etc. All this while I neither confirm or deny or say anything about anything. She is closer to remorse than any time in the past. Posted via Mobile Device
As for the OM's threats file a police report, as for your wife, sit her down and tell her that you are not causing the OMW any pain. You are just informing her of her H and your W's actions. Then tell your W that you are sure that the OMW appreciates her concern at this time, however maybe she should have been more concerned for her feelings before she slept with her H. Posted via Mobile Device
Thrway I get the feeling that you may be holding back giving the information to the OMW by using it as a bargaining tool with your wife. Let me tell you something that I've learned through my experiences. We cannot change anyone, this creature you see is what is left of your wife. Think of it as a type of personality cancer. She will never ever be the same no matter how hard YOU try. She is gone! This man is destroying your family and prolonging the pain of your children. For gods sake man go scorched earth. Let everyone know, hell put up a billboard with the best texts. Your wife may or may not be coming out of her fog, but I truly believe yours is thicker. Quit worrying about everything and take the opportunity to show your children you are going to fight for your marriage. Believe me the OM will be far too busy with his wife to worry about your W. Think of it as ruining his fun.
That was my opinion as a BS should act, as a BS I would like to know everything and I mean everything. Her marriage is based on lies, you have the opportunity to give this woman the truth, possibly some closure. Be kind to her, be truthful and honest, let her make an informed decision. Posted via Mobile Device
coward to tell the truth, coward to face the reality. How can we expect his wife to respect and love such a coward what he may have been through out their marriage. she lost her respect and love for him, so when she saw OM she left him for ever !!!! Everyone know this, except this man.
She is trying to stop exposure by acting as remorseful, this guy blindly buys that. she is in contact with OM but says she is not contacting. he buys that also, information given by his wife is using for threatening him- a perfect doormat and cuckold.
I think we are a little too harsh on the OP .Some posts bordering on abuse here. A little restraint might be needed here. It is his life that is at stake here and maybe he isn't sure what steps to take. We will try to give him the best advice possible and we can only hope everything turns out well. He has enough problems in his life already
Bandit, I am not sure how going on a blitz is a good "manouver". I feel like I hold the cards right now. My call to OMW has had its intended effect. OMW and OM are focused on each other right now. For now, the WW sounds like she is on track back. There have been one or two mascara running incidents. My 180 is fairly well in place, but with room for her to talk to me. I know she continues to be anxious about the texts I hold. The OM is scared that I will reveal everything, and has stayed away AFAICT.
As of today, the WW has agreed not to move out and to join the kids and me on vacation. I think I am getting what I want right now.
Of course, this might all fail. But I'd feel better with an ace or two in my hand.
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Re: Told the OMW, update 
