I am still here guys, reading and keeping to myself a bit. I am going through one of my darker days. I feel a bit cheap for having negotiated down on the texts. My WW seems to be backsliding on a few things. She plans to move out of the house. I don't believe she has stopped contact yet. She is not ready for transparency. I have told her I will file if she doesn't stay in the house.
I am really sad about the kids now. They are already children of a broken marriage and the cycle has continued one more generation. What I am most scared of now is that I will have to deal with my ex wife's craziness and instability from a distance. She will hurt the kids, and even if I provide a safer home myself, I will still be dealing with her ****.
There are so many more stories of recidivism in waywards than complete turnarounds. Sad. Posted via Mobile Device
I am still here guys, reading and keeping to myself a bit. I am going through one of my darker days. I feel a bit cheap for having negotiated down on the texts. My WW seems to be backsliding on a few things. She plans to move out of the house. I don't believe she has stopped contact yet. She is not ready for transparency. I have told her I will file if she doesn't stay in the house.
I am really sad about the kids now. They are already children of a broken marriage and the cycle has continued one more generation. What I am most scared of now is that I will have to deal with my ex wife's craziness and instability from a distance. She will hurt the kids, and even if I provide a safer home myself, I will still be dealing with her ****.
There are so many more stories of recidivism in waywards than complete turnarounds. Sad. Posted via Mobile Device
This is not an insult ; your a fool to believe her and make deals , we have learnt from the experience of countless affairs that waywards lie to and manipulate their spouse for as long as they can maintain the upper hand. Your posting your status and yet you still fail to follow our advice. Send those text messages and man up , stop deceiving yourself and listening to your wife's threats . Posted via Mobile Device
I am still here guys, reading and keeping to myself a bit. I am going through one of my darker days. I feel a bit cheap for having negotiated down on the texts. My WW seems to be backsliding on a few things. She plans to move out of the house. I don't believe she has stopped contact yet. She is not ready for transparency. I have told her I will file if she doesn't stay in the house.
I am really sad about the kids now. They are already children of a broken marriage and the cycle has continued one more generation. What I am most scared of now is that I will have to deal with my ex wife's craziness and instability from a distance. She will hurt the kids, and even if I provide a safer home myself, I will still be dealing with her ****.
There are so many more stories of recidivism in waywards than complete turnarounds. Sad. Posted via Mobile Device
Okay, you posted on 03-01-2012, 02:34 PM, that she checked herself into a hospital. And now she's out and already planning to move out. That was a short hospital stay wasn't it? That's not even enough time for the mental health evaluation.
Okay, you posted on 03-01-2012, 02:34 PM, that she checked herself into a hospital. And now she's out and already planning to move out. That was a short hospital stay wasn't it? That's not even enough time for the mental health evaluation.
How are things moving so fast?
To be fair, one time I was hospitalized less than 24hrs after a suicide attempt. Of course after being hospitalized before, I kinda knew how to work the system. One of the "perks" of being BPD. Posted via Mobile Device
Are you afraid of this man? If he were stalking my wife he would be afraid of me. With very good reason. He wouldn't think of contacting her again.
I don't get what is going on here. Call me dense, but who is afraid of who? Why doesn't your wife want you to give the OMW those logs? Is the OM threatening your wife, or is the OMW doing the threatening? This is all very murky. WTF is going on?
I know I'm late to this post, but from what I glean, your W doesn't want you to expose about the OTHER affair because, ten-to-one, it was with someone at his workplace (exposure will jeopardize his job, and will put in danger most, if not ALL, of his retirement, which your W and the OM are counting on) or someone related to the OMW, which will have his W take him to the cleaners, again, putting him in the poorhouse-no more sugar daddy!
And, as far as that gift, I would have graciously taken it, but on the way to the post office, I would have removed the gift, then found a dead squirrel on the side of the road...
I feel a bit cheap for having negotiated down on the texts. My WW seems to be backsliding on a few things. She plans to move out of the house. I don't believe she has stopped contact yet.
Posted via Mobile Device
Why have you stopped the one thing that you were doing that was actually making a difference?
Here's the situation:
1. You grew a pair and took charge, and it hurt the ongoing affair.
2. She told you to stop, and threatened that she would continue the affair if you didn't stop attacking the affair.
3. She had a "panic" attack because she was feeling like the affair would end because of your actions.
4. You caved and handed her the power.
5. She went right back to continuing the affair, and in fact now feels emboldened because she was able to get you to back down and help enable the affair.
You do see the path out here don't you? It's to go back to step 1 and keep it up and see it through.
It's like you went on the ball court and shot a couple of points, and the other team said "hey, stop shooting points or we will stop playing the game", so you stopped, but they kept right on shooting baskets.
Seriously? How exactly do you see this working out in your favor if you won't take the medicine?
We want to believe that Thrway is wise enough to ask the question, "why should I care about someone I can’t trust". She's playing him like a $5 yard sale guitar. And all the time she is practically screaming, " I want my legs wrapped around the guy in the number 1 position and guess what, that's not you. " He should be saying, "Listen, doll, I really think you like your boyfriend more than me, so I want you to spend all your time with him. And in the meantime, I'm going to be looking for a model a few years younger and in better shape than you."
But Thrway has the overwhelming fear of abandonment that renders him inept to stand his ground. Like most in his situation they use the kids, finances, etc. as rationalization. But at the end of the day, we know the real problem. They just can't stand to be alone.
She wants to protect the OM.
She wants to continue the affair.
She does not care if you hurt or love her.
She is thinking of herself and want she wants and your not what she wants.
Help clear the fog for your wife. Sending the full text content, highlighting the extra items you referred to will give his wife enough detail to overcome his trickle truthing her. Do you think he admitted his affair? I assure you he is describing you as a nut and gas lighting you. His wife needs the hard evidence to deal with him.
The OM is not likely to divorce his wife, his financial status will be in trouble if he does. He will have further issues when his children and siblings learn of his adultery.
This is a biggie for you, he will not trust your wife , that is in your faviour. You require friction between them , your wife needs to see and experience the pain of the affair.
Turn the screws , the way to save your marriage is to accept you have lost it. Retake the ground you lost by being firm and resilient in your demand for no contact and the affair to end . Send the information , say nothing to your wife and run the 180. Posted via Mobile Device
You negotiated when we told you not to. Why are you helping cover up this man's affairs? His wife asked you to be honest with her since he wont be so now, in essence, you are also deceiving her. She is the person i feel the most sympathy for. All three of you know the deal and are puposely keeping her in the dark. Its awful. Posted via Mobile Device
I am still here guys, reading and keeping to myself a bit. I am going through one of my darker days. I feel a bit cheap for having negotiated down on the texts. My WW seems to be backsliding on a few things. She plans to move out of the house. I don't believe she has stopped contact yet. She is not ready for transparency. I have told her I will file if she doesn't stay in the house.
I am really sad about the kids now. They are already children of a broken marriage and the cycle has continued one more generation. What I am most scared of now is that I will have to deal with my ex wife's craziness and instability from a distance. She will hurt the kids, and even if I provide a safer home myself, I will still be dealing with her ****.
There are so many more stories of recidivism in waywards than complete turnarounds. Sad. Posted via Mobile Device
You made a deal with your wife not to send the info about the OM's second affair. I believe the way your wife is acting now the OM has persuaded his wife there was nothing really going on andthat you are crazy.
Deals off. Go talk to the OM's wife in person. It would be great if you could get your wife on tape talking about her and the OM and letting the OM's wife listen to it. Take the texts and have a talk with the OM's wife to see what she knows.
I still think you should put the fear of God in the ba$tard. I just don't understand so many men just letting another man walk all over their family.
You really do need to talk to OMW. For your own sanity, if nothing else.
One thing I've learned over the years is this: men who avoid doing what they know is right because they fear their wayward wife will leave them...have already lost.
93Likes
