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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-29-2012, 12:06 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Suspected for years, even confronted more than once (no hard proof), finally after years, I get a phone call one evening from my grown daughter telling me that W was having a EAPA with an old boyfriend from college. My daughter suspected with all the very late night FB traffic and looked further.

Wife comes clean on current affair, but denies anything else. With email, phone, gps records it is apparent that she had been cheating for years. W eventually breaks down emotionally and admits to years of cheating with multiple partners.
Horrible. Sorry.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:25 PM   #32 (permalink)
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H confessed and abandoned me all in one phone call.

Never doubted his faithfulness even though his chosen profession (long distance truck driver) is severely riddled with a plethora of carcasses of marriages and relationships. All our years H was most adamant about NEVER being tempted by Lot Lizards. Hhmphhh! Brings to mind the quote from Shakespeare..."Methinks thou dost protest too much!"
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:25 PM   #33 (permalink)
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ouch! Sorry that happened to you. Did she come clean?
See above.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
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My gut had been screaming at me since before Christmas '09 and her behavior had changed radically. All the affair signs, right down to the guarding the phone, finding her asleep in the living room in the morning, etc. Was talking to my buddy on the phone and he mentioned how our wives communicated by email.

So on a hunch, I entered my wife's work email account and lo and behold, another profile popped up. I didn't have the password at the time, but it was enough to start further investigation.

I then logged on to her regular account, and clicked on OM's name in the chat box. I pretended to be my fWW, and he started talking all kinds of lovey dovey stuff, so I knew for sure something was going on. With me pretending to be my fWW, he kepts asking me to call him, is the fat boy asleep?, calling me babe, etc. I lost it and confronted him and he quickly signed off. It was 4am in the morning, but I didn't care, I woke her ass up. I got the denials and the trickle truth, etc.
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Old 02-29-2012, 12:52 PM   #35 (permalink)
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D-day 1 was texts on my wife's cell phone.
D-day 2 I got a phone call at work from OMW
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:37 PM   #36 (permalink)
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She left the house and forgot to logoff her user account on our computer. I was in the process of login her off when I got curious and looked at the website she was viewing before she left. It was her photobucket account. Saw a bunch of photos of us, family, and some female friends of hers but then I noticed a video was among them. I open it up and got the mother of all heartbreaks. It was her and the OM having sex. The video was not of very high quality but it was sufficient enough that I could identify her as the woman in it. There she was, the woman I loved with all my heart and soul, the woman I would have never suspected of being capable of betraying me in such horrible way, was right in front of my eyes acting like a sex crazed maniac with a POSOM. Right there and then I knew that there was no way that our marriage could survive that. I filed for divorce and never looked back.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:27 PM   #37 (permalink)
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sorry mori to hear your story. terrible. OMG!
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:29 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Read Mori's threads.

He's my hero.

Last edited by bandit.45; 02-29-2012 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:30 PM   #39 (permalink)
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He was showing me something funny on his friend's Facebook wall when she messaged him. I could see the conversation before said something about last night being "weird". He closed it quickly and acted very suspiciously so I decided to check on it when he went to bed. Showed a long series of heavily flirtatious messages and then talk about "that kiss" in his truck. My heart shattered.

After our R, I just had a bad feeling one day. I couldn't shake it or describe it. He had given me full phone/email/Facebook access but it was all clean. But I just knew something was off. I discovered by his Internet history that he had a secret email address and he (idiot) used the same password for it so I got a nice glimpse of all the dating (sex) websites he had signed up for. I don't know if he met anyone off it but he lied to me and then tried to shift blame to me and I knew i'd never trust him again. So here I am, separated and just waiting for the paperwork to go through.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:31 PM   #40 (permalink)
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My birthday, January '10. My girls were wanting to sing happy birthday to their daddy. I went in the kitchen to see a cake with no candles in it, no cards, presents or anything. My girls did make me cards and sang happy birthday while my wife sat in the livingroom on the phone. Looking back it could have been him she was talking to, I dunno. Never in our 15 year relationship had she been so cold towards me.

There was an argument that night and I got the first taste of a WS caught in the fog. She was explaining to me how she just wanted to feel loved and appreciated and how she was thinking of seperation and all of the routine chatter......So thinking it was me I tried everything I could to be a better man (or what she was wanting).

Fast forward 5 months later and she keep pushing me and pushing me to move out so she could "have some space." At some point I decided to go with that feeling in my gut and checked cell phone bill. Sure enough thousands of texts a month, more minutes and calls that I can count all to the same number, over and over again. I got a coworker to call the number from work and asked who he was, and he gave his first and last name.... He was my wife's kick boxing instructor at the YMCA. And right then and there my heart just felt like someone stuck a knife in it and twisted it over and over.

Just writing this brings back some bad feelings.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:57 PM   #41 (permalink)
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the first time my ex was caught, i wasn't even in the united states.my mom went over to my house to check on my ex, and mom caught her polishing some guys knob,mom was seriously pizzed to this day i think she loved my ex more than me.
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:25 PM   #42 (permalink)
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i'm new here and got some good advice.just wondering how you other post found out your spouse was cheating ?
Well I kinda knew and had asked the right questions but got smokescreened. Brain damaged after hypoxia and in this state of mind opened his seldom-used Outlook account on the old computer of his I'd started using after mine broke, thinking it was my Outlook account, and looking for his mom's email address since he asked me to email her specifically as he was deployed.

Found an email he'd sent her the same day he'd typed a 'fake' one as a 'demo' and had emailed it to her to show me how he corresponded with her. I figured out that if she'd received the fake email and the real email the same day, that he would have either told her about the deceit and the reason for the extra 'fake/demo' email or that she would already have known why this happened or he could just talk to her about it in person to explain it.

Of course, he denied everything. So did she.
Funny she was still denying it until I sent her H another email she'd sent my stbxh back in 2002, well before I was even back in the picture (he was single, she was married). I can easily see that I was a superfluous wife, selected to provide sexual and domestic benefits as well as lining his pockets and building home equity for him while he deployed (soldiers only gets housing benefits while deployed if married). Can we say, FRAUD? Of all kinds.

By the time I left, I think he was realizing that he could have had it all, even better than what was on his own game plan. But, too late! I don't stay in marriages where people lie to me in order to use me for their own purposes. I prefer invitations to be part of someone's life, on the up and up.
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Old 02-29-2012, 04:13 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Read Mori's threads.

He's my hero.
Sure don't feel like one
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Old 02-29-2012, 04:29 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Like Marvin Gaye,I heard threw the grapevine.Confronted her,she admitted,told her to kiss off and was on my way.
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Old 02-29-2012, 04:54 PM   #45 (permalink)
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On a family trip, woke up in the middle of the night. My phone was fully charged so I plugged hers in so it would be ready for the next day. Up pops the end of an inappropriate text stream. Took two months before I stumbled into this forum, and another month before I finally installed the Keylogger as I had been advised to from day one. Once I had the keylogger it took all of 1 day to give me enough proof to kill her EA.
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