Well my situation's a bit different in that he confessed to a current affair with a co-worker, and then during discussions about that affair, he confessed to the PA 8 years earlier. Most of our time was spent discussing the current affair, we still haven't dealt properly with the old affair and I admit it bugs me somewhat more than the recent one because of the length of deceit involved.
I'm not quite sure we have repaired things (yet), but we are working through them. We are still together, still talking.
Don't the polygraph test's have a 10% or so room for error? I would depend more on text/fb messages/even a computer keylogger.
Yes they do have a fairly high failure rate. Usually a poly is suggested in order to gauge the spouse's reaction to being asked to take one. The reason I asked the OP if he was going to follow through or if he felt he had all the truth is because it seems as if all her confessions have been via text. Therefore he doesn't know how she really reacted. He couldn't see her expression or note her body language. Usually I suggest a poly if the BS is not convinced they have the truth and the WS is in trickle truth mode. There are several points between the threat of a poly and the time the actual test is taken whereby the truth can be forced out. I wouldn't want to base my entire marriage on a poly but it is a tool like any other.
"Needing to be the only person your SO thinks about is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. If she loves you she'll keep coming back to you no matter who she's kissing, and as long as she's meeting your needs when you're together then things she does when you're not around shouldn't affect you. If she's not meeting your needs then that's another issue that needs to be discussed."
Yeah, typical advice you would get from a rutting pig.
If you are going to do a POLY---go to your local police station, and use their operator---their poly's are deadly serious, and their operators are the best
What really should be bothering you is---WHY did she now tell you this---10 yrs later, when she was skating free, and you would never know
Trading guilt for possibly facing D., and for sure destroying all the lives around her----there has got to be another reason, for her to "out herself"
Also why would she try to assuage her guilt with I kissed someone 10 yrs. ago----she tried to get you to go along with something happened, but it was minor----I think what you have gotten is either someone back in her life, maybe threatening blackmail---or her A., still was in existence on some level, and maybe even, his spouse was threatening to tell her, if she didn't own up---who knows---but I just can't see her bringing on a nuclear winter, when she was free, and you would have never found out.
Go through this news it can help you to understand a lot.
She is a pile of lies, your marriage is nothing else but a pile of lies, your ten yrs of marriage is nothing but lies. wah its sad to realize this but its time for you to realize it and move on with your life. She always wanted to move out but lack of financial security only prevented her from doing this. so you are only her meal ticket, not her husband for the past ten yrs.
At least don't beg her any more to stay in your rotten marriage.
You always thought of your marriage and wife but she never cared for you or her marriage, its time for you, you alone without the burden of the cheater wife, who cheated, lied and led a double life for more than ten yrs without a clue.
"Needing to be the only person your SO thinks about is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. If she loves you she'll keep coming back to you no matter who she's kissing, and as long as she's meeting your needs when you're together then things she does when you're not around shouldn't affect you. If she's not meeting your needs then that's another issue that needs to be discussed."
Yeah, typical advice you would get from a rutting pig.
I did not see the original post but it is completely absurd. Nothing to do with a marriage. This is the rhetoric of a cuckhold. Total fail. It is insecure and one who has very little self esteem. Someone who is available for the crumbs that fall off the table. Not a mature, confident individual. Anyone who would live with this lack of boundaries is not a person of value to others. They are also not someone who would hold a long term attraction to the wife. It is total weakness.
Just saying as long as your needs are being met while present does not coiver the need of an exclusive relationship. A man's number one need is usually sexual fullfillment followed by respect. What goes hand in hand with this is that these needs are met in an exclusive context. A man is not sexually fullfilled if his wife is banging other people. It is also not met if they give themselves in lesser ways to other people such as kissing and so on.
We all understand you are hurting. I am sure your wayward wife is hurting too.
But you have had a few weeks to absorb this betrayal, your wife has had years.
You have made it clear that you love her. You have also made it clear that your wayward wife loves you.
However, she has held this terrible affair in her head for a long time. There is always a reason for her just coming out with it now and rocking your world. I am sure she is feeling guilty but again there has to be something else.
Get your wife to take the polygraph test for your own piece of mind.
You both should get some counselling for both of you.
If you both love each other, take the steps to put your mind at ease and then get counselling to get your marriage back to a loving relationship like you thought it was.
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Re: Wife cheated 
