left me at home w her baby while she cheated...
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-13-2009, 09:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2
Default left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

I've been dating this girl for almost a year now. She has a 18 month old child to whom i have absolutly become attached to. I watch her while my gf works and goes to school, as well as keep the house work done and go to school full time myself. needless to say we are both very busy. Im 25, and she is 20. The babies father and myself get along extremly well now that he has moved on and is having yet another child with someone else. Well, the guy she cheated on him with also just happens to be his best friend. Never saw it coming because i was reassured by her that as long as i was faithful to her, she would do the same for me. So i didnt care to watch her baby while she had a girls nite out. little did i know she was and had been planning on going out with the guy that she let come inbetween her and her baby daddy. so she talks to me a few times while there on their date, assuring me her and her girlfriends are just catching up, i believe she needed to get away and spend some time w them to break the manotomy of her day 2 day. and i was content. well about a wk later shes acting a lil secretive and i go 2 see if she is where she said she was. on my way i pass her right past the guys driveway and ask her what had taken her so long to get home from school. she kisses me an says something that wasnt beond the relm of possibility an then gets irate when i say something else about it and tells me she wants to break up. i knew she was jus mad so i dissregarded it and went back home to wash dishes while she went to "run some erronds". I call her to find out why she was so mad and i ask her where she was and she says shes on her way 2 have sex w her bf, i thought she was being sarcastic and dissregarded it. Gave her some time to hopfully cool down and went about cleaning and starting dinner. 2 hrs later she comes home like nothins wrong, kisses me and then over dinner she says she cant handle a relationship , child and school and that she really wanted 2 wait til she graduated 2 b w me. I say ok and leave. the next day she calls me for sex, so i come home and before i touch her i ask if she has done anything w anyone else. She says no so i proceed to go down on her and have unprotected sex. Fast forward a few days and i manage to get her cell phone unlocked and read her txt messages. boy was i upset. she had undeniable proof of what she had done. On top of that she had been talkin to a guy coworker about the whole thing. tellin him about her date, how she had cheated on me and how she always got stuck w the guys that "wernt good enuf"... It made me sick to think how she kissed me after doing EVERYTHING 2 him, and didnt care 2 let me do it to her after having unprotected sex w him... How could she??? i wanted 2, well i better not say cause itd probably get me in trouble lol!!! Needless 2 say i was broken. In any other situation i would have left her and never looked back, but her child makes that no longer an option. ive spent 90% of the last 10 months and over half of the childs life w her... she calls me da da and i have no kids of my own so i dunno wut to do. I love them both and its killing me. She has started treating me better and i want to belive shed never cheat again but gaining my trust is gonna take a long time an im afraid shell get fustrated and do it again if i question her. please help me, i dunno what to do.
maybe one day is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-13-2009, 11:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
MarkTwain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 3,426
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maybe one day View Post
On top of that she had been talkin to a guy coworker about the whole thing. tellin him about her date, how she had cheated on me and how she always got stuck w the guys that "wernt good enuf"...
You need to think carefully about this. She not only cheated, but she told another man you weren't good enough. She views you as not firm enough and a push-over. Women prefer and need guys who will stand up to them. If you don't have that in you, you must grow it from scratch.

Beyond that, she gets a kick out of humiliating and abusing you. Until she matures that may never change. Is that good enough for you?
__________________
MT
MarkTwain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2009, 01:07 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
sunflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 884
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

ugh why huh why are people so careless with other peoples hearts you know........
sunflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2009, 01:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 689
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

I know what you are saying about loving that child and its really sad because that child needs you in her life. However, this woman will not change. She's not a nice person, plain and simple. Get out! The thing is how about 5 years from now, you raise that child, take her to school her fist day, she calls you Daddy then this woman says "get out". You have no legal recourse, no visitation. Its very hard now I'm sure but what about later. Also she will use this child against you that way.

You stay with her and you will be miserable. She's playing games with you and she's pretty promiscuous so matter of time before she shares a little "gift" with you.

I'm sorry to be so blunt but other than that child I see nothing at all positive about this relationship. And by staying with her you prevent yourself from finding a nice woman and having a family of your own.

You sound like a nice guy, you deserve better.
AZMOMOFTWO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2009, 04:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,539
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

She is cheating scum. She actually enjoyed making you a cuckold. She was bragging about it. Are you crazy. You may love the little girl, so visit her a lot. The scumbag is looking to replace you. She cares nothing about the fact her child loves you. I can't believe how she disrespected you and you are just going to suck it up. Like AZMOM said. What are you going to do when she dumps you 5 years from now with no visitation. Remember she proved she did not give a damn about what her daughters feelings would be. Run away. She will only do it again. Visit the little girl. Continue to babysit if you want. But dump he cheating slu.t
Initfortheduration is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 09:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 515
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Do you think this woman really loves you? You have made things easy for her, you cook, clean and watch her kid. If she loved you she would be involved in those things, you are more like a "manny" than a partner. She has no respect for you (or her child it seems). Sure you love the kid and that gives your gf just that much more leverage over you, and she will continue to abuse that if you let her. What she has done is unforgivable, she will not grow to love and respect you, that door is closed. I don't see how you can stay or why you would want to. I would also suggest asking her if you could visit the child but don't be surprised if she says no, unless she needs a sitter!

Cooper
Cooper is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 10:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,539
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Initfortheduration is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 12:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
justean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: south wales. uk
Posts: 1,249
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

i'd say your giving her her life, which she is obviously enjoying and your the babysitter.
trust me her type, she'll do it again.
justean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 02:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pullman WA
Posts: 346
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

I think all of these previous posters have givin you your answer, and I agree. Hopefully she will let your relationship with her daughter continue, but make sure you are emotionally stable enough to let the mother go. You do sound like a great guy, and you desserve a great woman. Someone who will be faithful, respectful, kind, and grateful to have a good man!

Good luck, as difficult as it is now, it will just get more difficult as more time goes by.

If you want to love on kids, I have five! Just kidding, I am trying to reconcile with my husband, but seriously, there are good woman out there who won't take advantage of your commitment and kindness.
raising5boyz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 02:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
justean's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: south wales. uk
Posts: 1,249
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Quote:
Originally Posted by raising5boyz View Post
. , but seriously, there are good woman out there who won't take advantage
and who wil want you for being you.
justean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2009, 02:54 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,539
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Initfortheduration is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2009, 09:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

Well she broke up with me today so I guess I dont have to worry about coping with her infidelity anymore eh...
maybe one day is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2009, 10:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,539
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

She is doing you a favor. You are to nice for her. She broke up. But she will probably be back. You need to steel yourself for it. She is a cheating skank. And nothing she says can be believed. The world is your oyster man. You have an ocean of fresh fish to choose from. Just keep posting. We're all pulling for you.
Initfortheduration is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2009, 01:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 699
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

She was using you as a babysitter man, and just "paid" you in sex for so long.

You'll be better off and I feel sorry for the kid to have such a mother.
revitalizedhusband is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2009, 05:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
sunflower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 884
Default Re: left me at home w her baby while she cheated...

YA seriously you dont need to stick around for that go get a good women and have babys with her. Gosh she is a jerk
sunflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
husband left me with a 2month old baby hopingandwaiting Reconciliation 7 12-01-2012 06:08 AM
Husband left me and our 5 month old baby girl Hannah110511 Going Through Divorce or Separation 3 08-31-2012 06:05 PM
My friend left her husband and baby Shecheats General Relationship Discussion 33 08-17-2012 04:15 PM
The baby is home, husband pulling away BlessedMommyof4 The Family & Parenting Forums 8 12-16-2010 12:53 PM
He Cheated and Now Has A Baby HurtandConfused88 Coping with Infidelity 1 05-25-2010 07:45 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:28 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage