I might have missed this part but was there a lot of sexting? Or just flirty messages? What do you mean by pretty deep stuff.
Were the pictures explicit or just risque ?(cleavage vs crotch shots)
I am mixing up stories here..
I would say they were more flirty than "sexting," minus the pics. There were three pics, two were cleavage, one (the one my husband saw) was breasts. No crotch shots or anything.
Honestly I don't think there is much you can do beyond what you have done. If I was a friend of your husband's the advice I would give him is to cut his losses. The idea that the woman he trusted would cheat on him while actively trying to conceive is disgusting. I think that is what the other user was referring to. I know it didn't reach an actual sexual affair but it was going there. What would have happened then?
You didn't confess and he caught you. That is telling. I suppose you deserve some credit for coming clean but that is like applauding a rapist for confessing. A little too late. And you were not even married for two years. If it happened now its not a great sign.
I wouldn't put too much stock in your husband not telling his family or still wearing his ring. Its embarrassing and emasculating to be cheated on. Its more likely he isn't ready to deal with the fallout than he is still wants you.
I'm sorry if this is harsh but there isn't much you can do. The ball is in your husband's court. It is up to him if he wants to forgive you. I think he would be better off with someone else who is faithful and who can actually give him children. But its his call.
Well the pics would have gotten more risque and the flirting hotter had you not backed off of this relationship with the OM. You need to accept that as a real possibility.
If you are able to get him to stay with the marriage then the issues of sex and intimacy need to be dealt with down the road. The two of you fell out of sync with each other during a time in your marriage when you should have been mating daily like rabbits.
You each own 50% of that screw-up.
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Why don't you and your husband have sex? I am confused. I thoguth you said you felt all the sex you were having felt like "trying to get pregnant/babymaking sex" so it wasn't as passionate but now you are saying you barely have sex.
By your husband's response it seems that all that is left is contemplation and a decision. I am encouraged by his response to your offering a polygraph. He is obviously in the acceptance stage. That doesn't mean anything more then he is over the initial shock. Right now he is considering what can be salvaged. He is thinking that he has a different wife then he married. He probably had you on a bit of a pedestal. Well the pedestal is gone, and hes looking at you straight in the eye. Have you thought of writing him an apology? Writing him a letter may help. It removes all facial expression and responses so that he can concentrate on what you are saying. There is not the pressure to come back defensively. It would simply be you pouring your heart out to him. Just remember, no one gets over this, till he gets over this. Good luck.
Like I said Sunshine, there are a lot of angry walking wounded on this board and some of them like to go off on the nearest wayward they can find. Take it all with a grain of salt. Posted via Mobile Device
"actually give him children??" That is rude. Infertility, unlike infidelity, is not a choice, and it is painful to go through
Maybe it was rude. My intention was not to be rude. All I was trying to say is the betrayed husband is weighing his choices. If I was him I would consider her infertility. If he wants a family why stay with a cheating wife who cannot have children? I think the infertility is absolutely relevant considering the OP mentioned it as part of the reason they were having marital problems.
This part of your comment is just rude and disgusting...
When two people truly love each other,not been able to have children is the most ridiculous reason to break up/divorce...
When they truly love each other they always can adopt a child and be happy...
The topic here is about EA and how to help this person and her husband and not about insulting someone for not being able to have biological children...
This part of your comment is just rude and disgusting...
When two people truly love each other,not been able to have children is the most ridiculous reason to break up/divorce...
When they truly love each other they always can adopt a child and be happy...
Does the OP really love her husband? That is the million dollar question. I find it hard to believe that she does considering she was cheating on him while they were essentially newlyweds. Maybe its my personal bias talking but she can say all she wants that she loves him but you have to judge her by her actions. And of course you can be happy without children but the OP mentioned they wanted children and her infertility was an issue.
I stand by the comment. I think you are misunderstanding it. It wasn't meant to insult or demean the OP. It was framed as advice if I would give to her husband. If having a family is important to him this may be his last chance. If he is half as good a man as Sunshine says he is he deserves better. My sympathy is with him not the OP. That is where I was coming from.
Does the OP really love her husband? That is the million dollar question. I find it hard to believe that she does considering she was cheating on him while they were essentially newlyweds. Maybe its my personal bias talking but she can say all she wants that she loves him but you have to judge her by her actions. And of course you can be happy without children but the OP mentioned they wanted children and her infertility was an issue.
I stand by the comment. I think you are misunderstanding it. It wasn't meant to insult or demean the OP. It was framed as advice if I would give to her husband. If having a family is important to him this may be his last chance. If he is half as good a man as Sunshine says he is he deserves better. My sympathy is with him not the OP. That is where I was coming from.
I dont know if Sunshine loves him or not...she had an EA and will probably end up divorced or in a miserable marriage because her husband will never forget and will trigger for a long time.Affairs destroy marriages and it's a fact...
And when I was speaking about "true love" I was speaking about couples in general that have infertility issues...
Maybe It wasn't meant to insult or demean the OP,but believe me this is a sensitive thing especially for women and no matter how kindly you point someones infertility issues out it is still insulting for persons that have that kind of problems...
will probably end up divorced or in a miserable marriage because her husband will never forget and will trigger for a long time.Affairs destroy marriages and it's a fact...
Wow. Way to blame the husband. Its not her husband's fault for struggling to forgive. Its Sunshine's fault for sending pictures of her tits to other men and whatever else she did.
Wow. Way to blame the husband. Its not her husband's fault for struggling to forgive. Its Sunshine's fault for sending pictures of her tits to other men and whatever else she did.
<begin rant>
It is hard for a WS to come here. It takes guts to take what what we say. It takes guts to say " I was wrong. I did it. Help me"
Give the woman some credit. She had an EA sent a few photos and got sprung.
Don't you wish your WW had come here and done this?
Don't you wish that your WW had had the guts?
There is a real chance this marriage can recover and we see precious few of those on here.
Lets keep HELPING hey!
<rant over.>
I'm sorry? I didn't think I was being harsh. The idea that divorce is inevitable because the husband won't forgive is crazy. I do realize that the OP is not that bad of a cheating wife by comparison. Her cheating is fairly minor (the disclaimer being if it really was just the sexting). I doubt her husband feels great that it was "only" sexting. It does take some guts to seek help and I think she should be applauded for that. But it doesn't mean you can't mention that she had an affair (emotional or physical an affair is an affair).
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Re: New member, I messed up. Need advice. 
