Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
mik,
Go to a Psychiatrist for an emergency appointment. If you can't get in to see one, go to your Doctor. Get some meds to help with your depression and anxiety.
Stay away from Booze. Start working out. Working out is one of the best antidepressants and anti-anxiety solutions there are.
You are suffering from Oneitis. You need to develop an abundance mentality. There are around 3.2 BILLION women on the planet. Do you really think that you can't find 1 good one out of 3.2 billion of them, if that is what you ultimately want?
Your cheating, remorseless, using, lying wife does not have a golden vajayjay. She was not who you thought she was. She was an illusion. The sooner you realize that, I mean REALLY realize it in your heart, the better.
You aren't going to lose your daughter. You might end up seeing her half of the time, but you can handle that. When you don't have her, you can still call her everyday. You will mean as much to her as you do now. You will always be Daddy to her. Nobody can take that away from you unless you do something stupid, like let yourself give in to the darkness.
You have to be strong for your daughter. With a mother like hers, your daughter is going to need you to teach her how to be a healthy adult. Nobody else can do that but you. She looks to you to serve as a role model as to what a good man should be, and that will continue till the last day of your life. Now how do you show her?
Good men aren't weak. You need to Cowboy up, and kick some butt (figuratively.)
See a counselor. But see a lawyer first. Get the best one you can find in the area. Let him do his thing.
Burn the OM to his wife. The other man's wife deserves to know. Aren't you glad someone was willing to help you out by keeping you from continuing to live a lie? Do this poor woman the same favor. That guy was scr3wing your wife and laughing at you about it. Get the last laugh.
Nobody else in this world will stand up for you but you. Start standing up for yourself, man.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
I haven't read all the posts, but please consider why you would even WANT to love and stay with someone who has cheated on you twice. You deserve better. Get individual counseling, please, and prepare to leave her. This is a marriage not worth saving--her behaviors are beyond the pale. Good luck.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
Mik, Someone provided the info to you. Are you glad they sent it or would you have preferred to find out 18 - 24 months down the road after the affair had been ongoing for months or years?
If you are glad you found out now, don't you think the OMW deserves the same open, honest truth given to her that was given to you? The truth is what is deserved. From there it is HER decision and HER choice what actions to take. To deprive her the right to make that choice, you are not much better than cheating yourself as you are enabling and prolonging a lie in HER case.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
C'mon buddy, pick yourself up and dust yourself off man! Not to belittle what you are going through but life is all about facing adversity. You can do this!
Another thing about life is that it's made up of chapters. What you're going through is just the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
If I look back on my life, the last 5 years were better than the 5 before that, and so on...
as long as you make good decisions FOR YOURSELF then there is no reason why your next chapter can't be so much better than the last one!
As far as your daughter is concerned...you have countless memories still to make with her!
But right now you need to get your s___t together (pardon my french) and suck it up.
What your daughter needs most from you right now is for you to show some real character and you're not going to find that faced down in the dirt.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
Heya guys... i cant thank you all much for the support... i know i have to pick myself up .. 180 or no 180 but i need to carry on ... as far as me being a pu55y is concerned .. well i was deeply in love and received same as well.. so it was / still is very difficult for it to let go. but as they say life goes on. I am and will always be thankful to the guy who provided me with the information and i will do the same by sending all the mails, msg's and letters to OM's wife; she deserves to know it as well. As far as my daughter is concerned .. i will always be her father .. no matter what so am going to a lawer but rather i have just bought a harrley davidson and am going for a month long vaccation across europe.... ( wont go for a vacction for anniversery for sure ) ...
i think it will take me few months ..maybe more to get back but have to do it for sake of myself and my daughter.
will keep posing regarding the new developments ...
thanks all again...
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
Mik,
Slow down buddy.
It sounds like you have found your balls and that is good.
Get the emails to the OM's wife. Also send them to your in laws so they see the truth too.
Go see an attorney just so you understand your rights concerning your marriage and daughter. If you go away for a month it could look like you abandoned your family not your wife.
Then go away and go dark on your wife.
Handle your issues first then get on your Harley!!
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
Mik: Now is not the time for vacation. It is much rather the time for you to go totally dark on your STBXW and for formulating plans with your attorney for your divorce and the ultimate custody of your daughter. There will be plenty of time later on for vacation; although it might feel like it, now is not that time. There are major priorities here and sorry to say, vacation just isn't one of them!
Immediately channel your energy into the filing and getting some muchly needed help from a good Christian family counselor both for you and your daughters peace of mind.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
You need to talk to a lawyer. If you leave, she may be able to charge you with abandonment and make it very difficult or impossible for you to see your kids. Be strong and play smart.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
If you read the Nice Guy link that chap provided for you you'd see that running away from confrontations is just another Nice Guy tactic. You need to change your life around. Not for her but for you. Otherwise you'll always be running and genuflecting to others.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
@Arbitrator : probabl yyou are right !! its not the right time for a vacation and i should be preparing myself for bigger action and face things head on. am sorry i am non-religious; so going to a religious councilor won’t help.
My wife came over few days ago to have a "chat" she proposed divorce ... is she taking the 180 route ? putting more and more pressure one me and making my life a living hell... also she knows that i am not in favour / never in favour of divorce she has started talking about it . i believe that from broken family kids suffer the most. i love my daughter and i am ready to let her be with her mother is thats the best for her. but at the same time i will not stop the fight for the right of her custody.
She (W) keeps telling me that its my fault why and how she did it .. that she was forced to look for peace and solace outside our marriage .. i somewhat actually have started believing in it; at the same time i know its BS.
Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !!
Mik, your concern for your daughter re the negative effects of a broken home are valid, but believe me it's much worse growing up in an intact home where the parents hate each other.
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Re: I Read it .. again and again and now cant Breathe !! 
