Wife of 11 years cheated on me - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 02:17 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

I don't know what kind of favors you are doing for her (or you for that matter) when you allow her to live a lie? I think keeping it real is the best way to deal with life and if that means exposing it to the OMW and her family then so be it.

Just like children, we adults suffer greatly when we are not forced to deal with the ramifications of our own actions. I am sure she would disagree but you would actually be doing her a great favor by making sure everyone is dealing with reality and not the pretty pictures in her mind.

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post #62 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 02:59 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Expose. File and show that you are now in control of the situation.

Kids and you (and a friend) should go to Disney when the time comes.

Leave her to stew.

She won't be enjoying her time with OM because she'll be wondering how the kids are doing without her.

Put on a brave face for the kids and let them experience the joy and fun of Disneyland and when the kids return saying they had a great time, she has to deal with the kids being really happy without her.

Might be useful to mention to boss that there is a family difficulty and company might help you adjust whilst going through all the stress of infidelity/cheating.
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post #63 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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I exposed to OMW last night after following her into a supermarket. I waited until she left the store and she was alone so I approached her. Keep in mind, she knows me from a few years ago when our kids went to the same day care center. She was blindsided and in shock. I brought proof via printouts of text messages directly from WW's cell phone. OMW and I spoke for an hour, gave her a good opportunity for me to tell her a lot as well as the fact that my family is in ruins. I have done my job and feel better on this part and the chips will now scatter where they may. Hopefully I soon won't have to worry about the EA going underground now that WW is out of the house. OM prevents her from having her own cell phone and keeps his devices private and locked. Guy must be a piece of work.
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post #64 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 11:41 AM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Good going Matrix! You did the right thing. I felt really bad when I exposed my wife and her lover to the OMW, but she thanked me. Man did the fireworks fly!

Did she seem grateful? Given that her husband seems to have so much control over her, do get the sense she will act on the information?
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post #65 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
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I got the sense that she is somewhat afraid of her husband actually. She said he has a temper but she also said their marriage went through a very rough time in 2008 but they rebuilt it ( wasnt infidelity according to her). She was blown away because things with them have been better than ever lately! A weight is off my shoulders. I was scared but once I started I was relieved to be doing my moral obligation and taking a stand for my family and my marriage.
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post #66 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 11:55 AM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Good for you Matrix.
Keep up the good fight!
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post #67 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 11:59 AM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Just get yourself mentally prepared for the fireworks cause they are a comin'. You need to now expose to her family too. Go get the VAR and keep it on you if she calls or if the OM calls to threaten you. Get every thing they say recorded.
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post #68 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 12:08 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

matrixD I would recommend that if the OMW agreed, that the two of you confront your DW(WW). Seeing her and explaining that you've already shown her the text between her and the OM, may be enough of a shocker to your DW as pouring a bucket of ice cold water over the top of her head. Its all 'fun and games' to her until she sees the face of her victim(s) - if the OMW has children, they also are victims of your DW's selfish and destructive behavior.

'I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie.
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post #69 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 12:28 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Fireworks are coming. Don't freakout, stay strong and don't get lured into any arguments.
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post #70 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 12:49 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

Good for you MatrixD!! Do not carry their baggage! I have to agree that you should get a voice activated reporter (VAR) and carry it on you. If there are any threats or fireworks, you'll be in a better position. Remeber how selfish, self-centered and sociopathic your wife and the OM are behaving and how unfathomable it is. Who knows what else will happen. With the VAR you'll have proof.

Remember - this is the type of man that would prevent his wife from having a cell phone. Who knows what kind of crazy is involved.

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post #71 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 12:54 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

also learn from shamwow's story. In his case, WW started giving back. Fireworks!
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post #72 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
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OM called me at home. Told me his wife told him I visited her and he wished I could have called him so we could work this out. Didn't have VAR so didn't want to say much. He denied having anything other than a mutual friendship and said my issues are between me and my wife and to eave him and his family out of it. He's no doubt already called WW
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post #73 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 02:07 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

yup, he's going to gaslight her and doesnt want you interfering with his lame excuses

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post #74 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 02:07 PM
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Re: Wife of 11 years cheated on me

how solid was the proof you gave her?

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post #75 of 141 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
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