Update - my WW made contact. Either OM hasn't dropped the bomb or she's playing it cool. Her demeanor was as normal as could be expected under the circumstances. While I find it hard to believe that the OM wouldn't tell her this breaking news (given their damn near constant contact leading up to this) perhaps the OM is stewing or has decided to not make this an worse. He has a temper, that I know. But he's also full of schitt and excuses at the same time. He was manipulative and now he's most likely making up stories to his wife that he controls.
So I'm less afraid of D now than ever before. But it's a step I still wrestle with for the sole reason of its finality. Yes, it could shake WW out of her fantasyland but at the same time, it could take a very fragile person (which at this point I sense she is aft speaking with her father) and make her worse. But then again this gets worse before better either way, right?
Her father now knows my side of the story. Which is to say he knows that that I always honored her and stood by her, even as she deceived me. Her father is very level headed and calm and to,d me he cannot take sides. He must support her but he said she's all kind of messed up. She is convinced she isn't cut out for motherhood, and she is definitely not happy. What I can't sort out is if her guilt is preventing her from thoughts of R, or if she's moved past thinking R is possible. Part of me thinks she checked out years ago and this is her best chance at bowing out, sad as that sounds, I feel that is highly possible.
So that leaves me - sad as I am, I'm getting stronger and starting to realize the very real possibility of her not in my life as my W. but i can't move on without recognition and her owning this. I will be a man and own my share of our marital baggage, but I can't accept the fall of this family as it is currently going down, I don't deserve this.
So I'm in the hell called limbo I suppose. I await something from her, prepared at the same time for an attack of sorts from OM. Inching closer mentally to D. Do I have anything to lose by consulting an attorney? Probably a good move based on everyone's urging. I just wish I had a better sense of which way it would push her.