A question for women that may have gone wayward on spouse or other women in general. It's been 6 months since D day. She claimed "no affair just friends", but I obviously know better- at minimum EA. She indicated she felt that deep down that I did not love her after 20 years and that she reached a point of acceptance that she was no longer going to live in such relationship. So after much agonizing (according to her) she got involved with co worker (but only friends- yeah right). Anyway, since all this went down, she seems really disconnected at times- she used to touch me physically and sexually a lot and now she seems distant often and not much touching to me. I can't tell if its me because sometimes I plain old don't feel like touching her or having sex. She was always the initiator of sex and was very open about it with me before- now she touches me occasionally but not very much. Not to be too crude, but she had often given oral to me but now rarely if ever- I almost have to ask for it. My question is - is this normal after an EA or PA? We have done well in counseling and express love for one another often, she finally quit job where OM works. But she just seems different. I cannot tell if it's the embarrassment and guilt and realization she almost blew our relationship up, or if the EA/PA was a lot more than what she is saying and holding secrets that is causing reluctance about sex. The only suspicious thing is she tried a new sexual position and she seems to let "crude" things slip from time to time - she doesn't seem herself. Any insight into this from a woman's perspective would be appreciated.