Ive been struggling with my body image since I found out in early December that my husband had an affair while we were seperated.
The area I've been struggling with and never liked is my breasts.
Ive wanted him to say that even though they are not perfect for him that he still likes them. Today in counseling he said the kids ruined them and that they are saggy. I also asked him if he would pay attention to them more after a breast augmentation. His response was " a kid with a new toy!!"
So I guess the answer was yes he would pay way more attention to them after I get a breast enlargement.
I've always wanted to have a breast enlargement and before our seperation he even was wanting me to make a consultation appt for surgery during a period of time. He never before would come out and be so open about what he thought. I guess that's what he thought the whole time, but the difference now is that I know he's been with someone with much nicer larger breasts than mine. That's what hurts. He was not willing to say he liked my breasts the way they are now, even when printed by the counselor.
So now when my husband jokes about who is going to pay for them. I'm gonna say your gonna pay for your new toys.
I guess since now that I know he wants them almost as bad as I do, I should not worry about when I will get them. I do hope I don't have to wait years for then though. We have talked about using a tax return to pay for most or all of it. This tax return is shot since we have to use it on needed things only and next tax return the government will take everything but earned income credit and kids tax credit Posted via Mobile Device
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Why do you allow him to emotionally abuse you? You had his children and he has to nerve to say that? Wow. What a nice guy.
You are trying to say this is YOUR choice. You're trying to talk yourself into it. I can see that. Your husband is a douche. You think he cheated on you because of your breasts? No. he cheated on you because he's a jerk. And he'll cheat again and blame something else...like stretchmarks or whathaveyou.
I did want this before his affair. I agree that it's not something that makes me happy that he says this.
My Husband is a very very unusual man. I'm not trying to make any excuses for him, but he says truthed jokingly. I never understood him before our seperation.
The counselor asked if he loved me just the way I am because I live him the way he is. He said hell yah I love her with all my heart.
My Husband is very self conscious about his body way way more than he was before our seperation. No matter what I say it seems to not make him feel better. He has a little bit of a gut and he's not built like he wants to be. He's never been like a model when I met him. He is a construction pipe fitter and he does have muscles and it's enough for me.
Before our seperation he did encourage me to Make a consultation appt for boobs. I guess he must have kept it a secret what bigger boobs really meant to him. I thought it was just me who wanted them. I guess he had a fantasy that he kept secret just like I kept secret my sexual fantasys from him.
It is true the kids did ruin them. I was a tight A size before with smaller nipples. Now I'm a stretched A size with much larger nipples. During pregnancy and breast feeding they stretched to a C to D size. So now I want to increase thier size to a solid C.
My husband was in no way trying to make me feel bad. I do wish he could tell me he is attracted to my boobs the way they are, but obviously he can't for some reason.
Maybe he sees them now as more for the kids than as a sexual object.
My wanting the boobs is because I want to have more of a variety of tops and dresses to wear. I also see my boobs as purely sexual now that we are done having kids. Posted via Mobile Device
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
If you do this, you have to understand it will not change a failing marriage. Your looks have nothing to do with his tendencies. If that's all that mattered to him, why did you marry him?
If you do this, do it for yourself, not for him. I would hate to see you devastated after you go through surgery for him, and he cheats again. From the sounds of it, the money can be spent elsewhere anyway.
That girl: I don't know why he cheated. All I can speculate is that if I had not cheated first he would have not cheated at all. I asked him to leave our house after his violent outburst. I didn't know at the time that he knew about the cheating that he found on my phone a few nights before his blow up.
We were seperated for almost a month before he cheated.
I don't think I'll ever get true answers from him, but I feel he cheated just to try to get over me. After he moved out he emailed me constantly. There was only a few weeks where he stopped emailing do much....during the time he met her.
Is it just a coinsidense that she has almost every feature that I do and even from the same region of US as I am?
I guess I'm trying to get my identity after his affair and after mine.
I did want breast enlargement before our seperation and affairs. Now it's just that I want them even worse because I imagine him enjoying hers or that now he is comparing hers to mine. Or maybe she has enlargement and he likes it even more now.
I have 3 children and so does she, but from what husband told me she didn't have her kids much and she wanted to go party all the time. Posted via Mobile Device