Yes. I told my H that i wanted fk my OM pretty hard to serve him right.
If he is unhappy with my EA, he can divorce me. I made myself very clear.
Glad that he didn't make all these noise like all of you here. He knows he didn't give his wife what she needed ,so now he is working on it. Sex is amazing & mind blowing with H again.
He gets it.
When I want attention, he gives. When I want love, he gives.
I'm his priority.
That's how marriage worked out. That's why the outside man is no more attractive.
Yes. I told my H that i wanted fk my OM pretty hard to serve him right.
If he is unhappy with my EA, he can divorce me. I made myself very clear.
Glad that he didn't make all these noise like all of you here. He knows he didn't give his wife what she needed ,so now he is working on it. Sex is amazing & mind blowing with H again.
He gets it.
When I want attention, he gives. When I want love, he gives.
I'm his priority.
That's how marriage worked out. That's why the outside man is no more attractive.
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You're the classic definition of the unremorseful selfish cheater.
It's all about you, you, you. You have no morals, nor do you have any idea what marriage is about. It's about commitment to one person and forsaking all others, not wanting to f#ck someone else to hurt your spouse.
Hopefully your BH will wake up from his fog and see you for who you really are and kick you to the curb.
You know, we could all fight about this, but it really is getting silly. There is plenty truth on BOTH SIDES. She needs to make it work if she wants it to work. He needs to not treat her like a s**t and a wh*re If he wants to punish her for her wrong, then he is wrong. If he feels she lacks remorse, he should have enough self-respect and leave. At any rate, who would want sex from a wife not ready to give sex if he truly and honestly loves her? (But there just might be more here than meets the eye. (More on this below).
And please, don't go off half-c*cked telling me that she wasn't loving to him. Just don't. That's not only tautological, it's also asinine. Not when he hasn't (seemingly) been willing to face up to his end. (And every single one of us has ends).
It is just as wrong to stay in a marriage that is a lie/farce as it is to cheat on one's spouse. I know this may seem a little futuristic, but people (especially women) are not property (crazy, right?!), and those vows are no more sacred than the bond between the two people reciting them.
My ex watched porn for years before coming clean. I already knew there was an issue because he had nothing left for me (physically, sexually, and emotionally) when he came to bed at night. I am a very pretty woman. But at 27 years old, I was too young to know how to handle the reality of that situation. I had this amazing libido and a 27 year old husband that didn't want me. I was going crazy trying to figure out how to get him to notice me, not knowing that he wasn’t into me. HE WAS BREAKING OUR MARRIAGE VOWS. He didn't have to sleep with a stranger; he brought her/them into bed with him every time I gave him sex.
At that point, our marriage was over. Although we remained together for another 8 years, it doesn't matter. Although I left him, it doesn't matter. He chose to quit on us. He didn't want to work it out. He didn't want to grow with me. He just wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. Sound familiar?
Now, excuse me for being a little inflamed when I say that the way the author of this thread began was more than a little jacked up! Who begins a thread with cursing and a comparative of the way one’s adored wife "fu&$ed" OM and not him. If he is thinking about her with the OM, how can he even get it up?! Am I the only one seeing this? It's sick and twisted!
And then there was no self-discovery by the author of this thread--absolutely no introspection, all he wants to do is make sure she pays. Well, more power to him, I suppose!
Finally, just a supposition. . . but maybe he hopes to make his wife miserable so she will leave him, because he doesn't have the guts to admit he doesn't want their marriage anymore either (but he doesn't want to seem/come out like a "bad" guy, ya see).
You have no business being married. Your husband would be better off divorcing you and finding himself a woman who will truly love him and be faithful to him.
We are 2 months into R. She is doing just about everything I ask, and MC is helping. She seems to be taking full responsibility. The OM no longer works with her and she is maintaining NC.
One issue though. She is having sex with me regularly but it seems uninspired. She thinks I should be happy to be getting it regularly. I want her to be passionate, and do for me all the things she did for him. I know she opened up somewhat with OM.
She says mentally she is not there b/c I am not showing her love, she is doing most of the work. I think she should want to do all those things and more to keep me. I feel my being here still after the 3 yr affair is showing her plenty of love.
What do you all think? Is she still connected to him? She says it had been "over" for awhile and she has no feelings for OM. I am not so sure.
You know, we could all fight about this, but it really is getting silly. There is plenty truth on BOTH SIDES. She needs to make it work if she wants it to work. He needs to not treat her like a s**t and a wh*re If he wants to punish her for her wrong, then he is wrong. If he feels she lacks remorse, he should have enough self-respect and leave. At any rate, who would want sex from a wife not ready to give sex if he truly and honestly loves her? (But there just might be more here than meets the eye. (More on this below).
And please, don't go off half-c*cked telling me that she wasn't loving to him. Just don't. That's not only tautological, it's also asinine. Not when he hasn't (seemingly) been willing to face up to his end. (And every single one of us has ends).
It is just as wrong to stay in a marriage that is a lie/farce as it is to cheat on one's spouse. I know this may seem a little futuristic, but people (especially women) are not property (crazy, right?!), and those vows are no more sacred than the bond between the two people reciting them.
My ex watched porn for years before coming clean. I already knew there was an issue because he had nothing left for me (physically, sexually, and emotionally) when he came to bed at night. I am a very pretty woman. But at 27 years old, I was too young to know how to handle the reality of that situation. I had this amazing libido and a 27 year old husband that didn't want me. I was going crazy trying to figure out how to get him to notice me, not knowing that he wasn’t into me. HE WAS BREAKING OUR MARRIAGE VOWS. He didn't have to sleep with a stranger; he brought her/them into bed with him every time I gave him sex.
At that point, our marriage was over. Although we remained together for another 8 years, it doesn't matter. Although I left him, it doesn't matter. He chose to quit on us. He didn't want to work it out. He didn't want to grow with me. He just wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. Sound familiar?
Now, excuse me for being a little inflamed when I say that the way the author of this thread began was more than a little jacked up! Who begins a thread with cursing and a comparative of the way one’s adored wife "fu&$ed" OM and not him. If he is thinking about her with the OM, how can he even get it up?! Am I the only one seeing this? It's sick and twisted!
And then there was no self-discovery by the author of this thread--absolutely no introspection, all he wants to do is make sure she pays. Well, more power to him, I suppose!
Finally, just a supposition. . . but maybe he hopes to make his wife miserable so she will leave him, because he doesn't have the guts to admit he doesn't want their marriage anymore either (but he doesn't want to seem/come out like a "bad" guy, ya see).
You have no business being married. Your husband would be better off divorcing you and finding himself a woman who will truly love him and be faithful to him.
You know, we could all fight about this, but it really is getting silly. There is plenty truth on BOTH SIDES. She needs to make it work if she wants it to work. He needs to not treat her like a s**t and a wh*re If he wants to punish her for her wrong, then he is wrong. If he feels she lacks remorse, he should have enough self-respect and leave. At any rate, who would want sex from a wife not ready to give sex if he truly and honestly loves her? (But there just might be more here than meets the eye. (More on this below).
On this I agree 100%
Quote:
And please, don't go off half-c*cked telling me that she wasn't loving to him. Just don't. That's not only tautological, it's also asinine. Not when he hasn't (seemingly) been willing to face up to his end. (And every single one of us has ends).
Oh you bet I will call you out on this. A loving wife does not carry on an affair for 3 years while her husband is trying to figure out what is happening and is going to MC with her. She only became "loving" after her affair had been discovered and she realized that he was going to leave her.
Lastly the idea that when a wife cheats on her husband it is because he was not meeting her emotional needs but when it is the husband who cheated on his wife it was because he was a sc*mbag is a justification for female infidelity.The truth is that when a wife cheats on her husband it is because she doesn't have the guts to end the marriage and is waiting for another man to come along before she jumps ship. How noble.
We've been all chatting a lot about your situation. I guess I take particular offense to you. Below is why:
"She says mentally she is not there b/c I am not showing her love, she is doing most of the work. I think she should want to do all those things and more to keep me. I feel my being here still after the 3 yr affair is showing her plenty of love.
What do you all think? Is she still connected to him? She says it had been "over" for awhile and she has no feelings for OM. I am not so sure."
You say she is doing a lot of working on the relationship. She also says she is doing a lot of working on the relaitonship. Honesty in agreement. Then, you say that she (who is being HONEST WITH YOU) says that she can't get excited about you because you aren't showing her love. You don't disagree with her point (again, honesty in agreement), but instead say she should be GRATEFUL that she even has you, because you haven't walked out on her.
Dude, you got to get your head on straight here. First of all, I am assuming she must be pretty amazing if you're sticking with her despite her affair. And if she has decided to make a go of it with you, you've got to trust that (if only a little). But ABOVE ALL ELSE YOU MUST SHOW HER LOVE. I haven't met a woman yet that didn't need a lot of affection and tenderness. From this tenderness, grows the fire that lights the libido. (Hey, I didn't make the rules, it is just how we girlies work). You can't be impatient (did you marry her for sex or because you love her?), and you must be consistent.
Otherwise, poo or get off the pot. If you don't want to give your wife the love she needs, than you are just as guilty as she (perhaps more).
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Re: F me Like she F'ed Him 
