Right now there is an active thread in these forums debating whether or not viewing porn is by definition infidelity.
It`s amazing how many view it as such.
By definition of agreement. If all four parties consent to any activity whatever it is it is by definition it is not infidelity. So in this case you do not have to fully define except to say that the four may agree to something that breaks other laws but that is not the question.
I am saying that if all four partners agree to swing then by definition it is not infidelity. If all foru agree that only two of the partners can do whatver then it is consenting. If a married couple engage in a threesome with a single person and all three agree it is consenting and not infidelity.
So may answer is -- logically it does not matter what the activity is.
I will not address the porn comment here as you point out there is another venue. But we can reel this in a bit. There are existing laws that we live under now where the government controls the ramifications of infidelity. In answer to the OP, I do not think that we need to make infidelity illegal, but we sure have made it legal already and with little consequence for the APs. The burden appears to be on the BSs by default. You can say it is even by splitting assets 50 / 50 but is that really equitable whne infidelity and especially children are involved?
I think the entire institution of marriage needs to be revisited. Do one or five or ten year contracts which, when over, just end. Put a lot of lawyers out of business! And infidelity could be part of that - if it occurs, the union can be dissolved early.
Of course that doesn't solve the problem of what exactly the definition of infidelity is.
I think its horrible. And heres WHY. I am LIVING with INFIDELITY being viewed as a CRIME. My husband is being FALSELY accused of Sexual Assault, because his OW does not want to have an adverse write up on her record. It is disgusting. BUt lets just pretend for a second she didnt cry fowl..and owned up to what she was doing. Her, as well as my Husband would be reduced in rank..which means he would be making LESS money..and have low chances of being promoted. SO his career..in essence is OVER.
Him cheating was WRONG. But should his career be over because of it? Should my children and I be faced with receiving less financial means because of it? ABSOLUTELY NOT. This is a personal matter.
I think its ridiculous, on so many levels. Making something like this illegal is sort of a form of prohibition. It brings out the worst in people, and they only look out for themselves. If we didnt have the financial means to hire a CIVILIAN lawyer...this would have been very ugly.
7 states have the Alienation of Affection, and Criminal Conversation torts---all states need to put them back in their codes----Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress---these are always available against the Lover.
As to the Spouse----if they wanna cheat---they should get nothing, nada, zip---in a D.---No alimony---Child Support should be set in an acct, where the money is only doled out for the child's expenses---and they give up all the assets, in the property settlemen-------WHOOPS---I GUESS I CAN WAKE UP FROM MY DREAM
If not, it's not for the reasons you stated, that's it. It's not a case of some kink among the consenting adults as you argue, and really is a borderline behaviour. They *do* cause harm (emotional, health or financial) to a non-consenting third party.
I'm not arguing about whether they cause harm or not. I am just arguing, in response to the OP's question that it is not, nor should be a legal matter directly.
You seem determined to misunderstand what I am saying. Morally wrong, but shouldn't be illegal. Ok?
Some victims of both rape and infidelity have stated that infidelity was far worse because it involved betrayal from the one they trusted above all others while the rape was a violent physical act perpetrated by a stranger(s).
This is absolute BS, especially considering that the vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim trusted.
There is nothing else I can think of that one person can legally do to another that is more abusive and damaging (mentally & physically) than commiting adultery. Yet, there are no legal deterants, or recourse for this very personal assault on someones well being and quality of life. Kinda defies logic.
Of course my logic is defined on a very small scale in the grand scheme of things.
Im certain that a crime as old as maritial infidelity has been examined, disected, and addressed at the levels that control law and manage the big picture of society... They decided it's ok. I'm sure as with all things that defy basic logic, there is a good reason that things are the way they are. For someone.
Sadly, I suppose it's a waste of mental capital to concern myself with it.
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Re: Should Infidelity be Illegal? 
