Jumped to a hasty conclusion
For those unfamiliar with the story, the bullet points:
-Wife had a couple of long-term EA's, and a very short-lived PA (more akin to a ONS, but seems funny to call it that since it happened in the middle of the day). DDay approx 1.75 yrs ago.
-False starts in R, but true R began about a year ago.
-W's best progress in R began in determining that she fit the criteria of a sex/love addict, and began attending SLAA meetings.
-Transparency on both our parts.
-She's become more aware of when her behavior runs the risk of slipping back into her old pattern, and has also requested I tell her in no uncertain terms when I think she's close to backsliding.
In November, she underwent a full hysterectomy. While her sex drive skyrocketed immediately after (during the time she was prohibited from "vigorous activity,") her hormones have now stabilized and her drive has crashed and burned...none whatsoever. Without thinking of it, my mind has drawn parallels to her previous low drive period, in the deepest part of her long-term EA. Due to car issues, she hasn't been able to get to her SLAA meetings for a few months. So, a bit o paranoia has set in on my part.
Last night, I'm putting laundry away, and come across a pair of men's boxer briefs, but not a brand that I have. Naturally, my first instinct is to think the worst. I ask her about them. She said she had no idea where they came from. I managed to not flip out. She suggested that, since my dad had come to visit from out of town the week before, maybe he'd left them behind and they got mixed in with our clothes. A quick exchange of texts with him determined that they were, indeed, his.
I know that fully recovering from an affair can take years. That doesn't make me any less upset at myself for immediately assuming the worst, nor at her for putting us in a situation where assuming the worst was my first instinct.
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