that_girl

I don't think anything is crossing their minds.

OP, how old are you? You guys sound very young.

Stop trying to make a baby....you won't know who the father is.

And you DO NOT want to be tied to her forever. Omg.

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sadmaninvegas

But she did tell the truth, and did not hide if for a long time.


Yes what she did was wrong and I dont know how to deal with it but I do really love her.

We are putting everything on hold for now and well I dont know, she says she is willing to do what ever it takes to make it work.

sadmaninvegas

I am 28 and she is 24, we have both been married before.

There are some bad things that happened to her about a month and a half ago and I cant stop thinking this is some kind of fall out of that.

that_girl

She won't change. But if you want to risk that, then ok. Your choice. But don't come back complaining

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CH

You dodged a bullet big time. Listen to the other posters and run for the hills.

Better to have it happen now before you get married and have kids. Move on and don't ever look back.

In_The_Wind

What if you did this to one of her friends how forgiving would she be ? I understand that you love her
But you might want to even the score.
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sadmaninvegas

It was not one of my friends, this is one of her friends.

CH

Nope, not worth the time, just move on and don't even stoop to her level.

PBear

You may love her, but I would question how much she loves you. It takes two to do the marriage tango, and even then it can be a rough ride at times.

C
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In_The_Wind

norajane

Then she has poor coping skills, poor conflict resolution skills, and her FIRST instinct is to turn to another man, not you.

What will she do the next time 'something bad happens'? Turn to another "friend" and have sex with him?

It doesn't matter that something bad happened - that is exactly the time that she should be turning to you for support and comfort, not another man. Instead, she ran from you into someone else's arms. This was her choice. That's the kind of choices she makes.

Very poor risk for marriage. She's not ready for a real relationship and commitment, especially with one marriage already behind her at such a young age. I also don't think she's ready to be a mother, since these are the kinds of life skills she'll be teaching her kid.

Jonesey

I to would wore fore,you to cut your loses right now.
Look at it this way.She is 24 years old.And already divorced.
wants to remarry.Having kids.trying fore kids.Ends up cheating
with no protection…And all this..And she is not even 25 years old..
I don't mean to be harsh here toward her.But something is very broken
with her.
Look you really dodged a built here..

Be great full,that you didn't have to find this out 3 kids and 10 years of marriage later..

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sadmaninvegas

When I say I wanted to marry her, I thought of her as my wife. I would do anything for this girl.

I dont think its easy as saying I am done. I would not do that to my wife. The paper of making her my wife is just paper. I love her and deep down want to believe she loves me.

I think what I really wantto know is.
"
Can there ever be trust again?

Will I ever believe she loves me again.
"

I cant walk away from family like that and everyone has ****ed up at some point.

I dont know, I really with this never happened.

CH

You could keep her around and hope that she changes. So every time she goes through a crisis she needs to sleep with someone else.

And her 1st marriage fell apart because of...I'm gonna take a wild guess that she said her husband treated her like crap. But I'm gonna take a wild guess that she probably cheated on him also and he was man enough to send her packing.

If you can take the punishment until she finally decides to grow up then that's your choice.

norajane

Well, she doesn't feel the same way about you. She obviously wouldn't do anything for you - she is playing against you by turning to other men and having sex with them. If she felt the same way as you and would do anything FOR you, she wouldn't have cheated ON you. She even risked getting pregnant with another man's child.

No? She DID do that to you. She cheated while knowing full well the damage she would cause and that you might dump her. She did it anyway. It was easy for her to screw you over, dude. All it took was some "feelings" for her friend, and you were forgotten. She took the risk that you would say "you were done" - she weighed her options and took that risk when she cheated on you.

As a woman, I can tell you that if I am cheating, that is NOT A LOVING ACTION. Love is not just emotion; it is action. Cheating is not loving. Cheating is destructive and aggressive.