wife is a trigger?

calvin · 03-26-2012, 03:58 PM

Hey guys,I think most of you have read or heard our story.After her EA..yes..EA,she's doing everything she should and then some.
I dont understand,I really want her,love her and I get the same back,she does go above and beyond with our R.
Strange I need her to help us through this,she knows how to calm me down but at the same time...well sometimes,it is getting less,I trigger off of her.I know others have been through this,any advise?Thanks guys,you all are the best.
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Hope1964 · 03-26-2012, 04:22 PM

Well of course she's a trigger. My husband is a trigger for me. It's been 2 years and there are still times I look at him and think WHAT THE FVCK. Just the day before yesterday we were cuddling in bed and I was gazing in his eyes and a wave or anxiety shot thru me. Direct result of what he did.

I recognize them for what they are and don't bring them up very often though. If I did he'd get really frustrated. They're my stuff to deal with for the most part - I just let him know what's happened when I need a hug.

canttrustu · 03-26-2012, 04:29 PM

sometimes I look at him and think" why the hell did you do this and you are such a liar"

CH · 03-26-2012, 04:42 PM

Yep, we are and will always be the trigger for the rest of your life. 14 years, well now 15 years later after d-day my wife still have triggers once in a blue moon and it only happens when I'm around her.

Wanna get rid of the triggers forever, get rid of the cheater, problem solved. You'll soon find out that without the cheater around, the other triggers don't really set you off anymore.

calvin · 03-26-2012, 08:46 PM

Thanks Hope ,Cant her lies stoped pretty damn quick,truethful all the way.
CheatingHubby,Yeah I know I tigger off of her but she is the only one that can give any help at all,she does calm me and make me feel better.Believe me, the irony is not lost here,its just weird to me.CantSitStill is a unique and different woman(yes I know,thats been said here many times) but she really is.She will try to explain the EA and sometimes comes close and she will talk about it as much as I need,I know it hurts her and I dont like it but who really got it bad? she is doing an oustanding job.
Anybody else who relied on the WS this much?
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AngryandUsed · 03-27-2012, 01:22 AM

Triggers dont die.
But they hurt you (BS) and them (WS).
Sad.

abdo · 03-27-2012, 02:32 AM

There is a chemistry effect in every EA.

Try to develop some sparks with her.
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