Last night I filled my GF in on recent events. Only after the events have happened is our deal. It works too, stopping drama from old situations entering our new relationship.
She is quite insightful asking me a question that I had to consider very carefully.
"Are you just addicted to the drama?"
In a way she is right that I can't let go of this part of it. The fact that my stbxw was doing this to this woman was tearing me apart. I have talked to stbxw on numerous occasions about the damage she is doing and she has shut the conversation down.
A few weeks ago when she sat in front of me and said.. And I quote:
" I get some needs met by you and some needs met by him. I want my family back!"
I just said, quietly ' you can't have it. I thought you know that by now'
My [old] family is gone and I am building a new life.
Something was not right. It is only in the cold light of reality and mental stability that this became clear. I re sent the email being careful to not make the subject line emotive and from a new email address. It obviously got through.
I feel relieved that the truth is out and incredibly sad that this woman has a the sort support that attempts to blame the victim. I wish she would come here. I wish I could tell her that it will get better. i wish I could make it all go away for her.
Am I addicted to the drama? No. I am tired of it. I am tired of this woman thinking she has control. I am tired of her lying to my kids. I am tired of her attempts to cake eat. I am tired of it all and want it to end.
In some way I felt complicit in the affair even though it was apparently okay from the other end. I felt like something was unresolved. Now the OMW can now make decisions about her life, as painful as this is. My stbxw will feel the full force of her actions and hopefully it will bust the fog. I doubt it though. She wants what she wants.
Here is my theme song for the last year. Not all the time, just when I need it, really, really loud in the car.
Warning this song contains strong language and adult themes.
I was a lifer. 25 to life eminem lyrics - YouTube