okeydokie

sad situation. its just so difficult to fathom the reactions of the two cheating dirtbags, like they are the victims here, unreal

AFEH

Yes. Must have at least made her think she has mental health issues and those around her as well.

Lon

SH, perfect theme song for this thread (and most other threads on the CWI section). Until now I've never even really heard Ozzy's lyrics, alwasy just focussed on the guitar riffs.

and I agree with others about that poor woman - how horrible how she was gaslighted, I somehow feel less bad for you now Ing...

Affaircare

This has GOT to be one of my favorite examples of disloyal fog.

YOU told the truth and treated the OMW in a way that indicated you believed she was mature enough to handle reality even if it was hard.

Your STBXW lied, committed adultery, stole the OMW's husband, tore the OMW's family apart, destroyed OMW's mental and emotional and financial stability now and in the future.

SHE is the one who did this to the OMW...not you.

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The 180 * Coping With Infidelity Newbies--Please read this!

ing

Thanks all.

Last night I filled my GF in on recent events. Only after the events have happened is our deal. It works too, stopping drama from old situations entering our new relationship.
She is quite insightful asking me a question that I had to consider very carefully.

"Are you just addicted to the drama?"

In a way she is right that I can't let go of this part of it. The fact that my stbxw was doing this to this woman was tearing me apart. I have talked to stbxw on numerous occasions about the damage she is doing and she has shut the conversation down.

A few weeks ago when she sat in front of me and said.. And I quote:
" I get some needs met by you and some needs met by him. I want my family back!"
I just said, quietly ' you can't have it. I thought you know that by now'

My [old] family is gone and I am building a new life.


Something was not right. It is only in the cold light of reality and mental stability that this became clear. I re sent the email being careful to not make the subject line emotive and from a new email address. It obviously got through.

I feel relieved that the truth is out and incredibly sad that this woman has a the sort support that attempts to blame the victim. I wish she would come here. I wish I could tell her that it will get better. i wish I could make it all go away for her.

Am I addicted to the drama? No. I am tired of it. I am tired of this woman thinking she has control. I am tired of her lying to my kids. I am tired of her attempts to cake eat. I am tired of it all and want it to end.

In some way I felt complicit in the affair even though it was apparently okay from the other end. I felt like something was unresolved. Now the OMW can now make decisions about her life, as painful as this is. My stbxw will feel the full force of her actions and hopefully it will bust the fog. I doubt it though. She wants what she wants.

Here is my theme song for the last year. Not all the time, just when I need it, really, really loud in the car.
Warning this song contains strong language and adult themes.
I was a lifer.

25 to life eminem lyrics - YouTube

bandit.45

Did you explain this to your GF? Does she understand and empathise with this?

I know you wish to protect your new relationship from the fallout of the old, but your GF needs to acknowledge that this is what is happening now in your life. Whether she likes it or not she is part of it even if it is merely through proximity. If she wants you she has to accept all of you, every ugly piece, or reject it all.

ing

She gets it and where I am at. Totally. If she has a fault, she empathises too much!
In fact it was getting in the way of the new"us".

Leaving each other out of the drama as it is happening and then reporting it to each other helps to firewall it.

She did say after this turn of events was reported to her..
" Remind me never to cheat on you!" and then handed me the "Don't fcuk with me" coffee cup. lol

Remains

I have a similar one...emailed my bf's 'ex' AP, she is a teacher. Police now involved, though I have barely done anything!... I think I may post this question as a thread.... I think my mind is made up to finish this scenario, but a 2nd opinion always useful.

Remains

Hehe and very good stuff! I will have to read your full story when have more time...

bandit.45

So is she like wanting to kick your STBXW's ass? Cool.

Simon Phoenix

No!! That was my plan!!! LOL...

Anyway, well played my man. Well played...
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happyman64

Good Job Ing!

Now you can move forward.

I think this is a good way to move forward with your divorce coming soon.

Your ww got what she deserved. the OMW now knows the truth and can make decisions based on her reality and not based on everyone's lies.

i also think it is good your GF knows you are an Alpha Man who takes no crap.

Well done!

Beowulf

Yeah, talk about ending the old relationship with a bang and starting the new one off with a boom. You've managed to hit two birds with one stone.

Almostrecovered

just saw this ing

exactly why i recommend a follow up on exposure, you just never know if a letter or email will get intercepted or ignored

I saw in another thread that OM has now thrown your stbx under the bus, what a pity

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Eli-Zor

Shame; no doubt your STBX wife and the OM will lie to OMs wife and make her life unpleasant. Your STBX wife does not come across as a person with boundaries , I doubt she will stop pursuing the OM no matter who she hurts on the way.
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