Re: How to deal with Emotional affair
Well, thing is that he already has another girlfriend that he just started up with (she also works with them and my wife is/has been close to her, too). I told her tonight that she needs to temper the relationship. That I know things are weird with us, but she needs to watch how she is carrying on with him, because it will affect her job and life. I won't outright accuse her using the terms emotional affair, because I don't want to get into a pissing match (I looked at porn, she can "make friends", blah blah blah). I just told her the friendship wasn't sitting right with me and she needed an honest outside perspective that it probably wouldn't look right to his girlfriend either. I also told her that I was only doing this to be an honest person for her and to be a better person myself, because if we don't work out, I need to be that for my sons and for anyone else in the future. She tried to initiate hugs before she left for work, but I was generally cool to them to hopefully let her understand that changes are happening within me and I am going to be all I can control and control me I will (compared to how I was before TRYING to convince her of my love and hugging hard and long going in for kisses).
On another note... I just read the 180 today AFTER telling her I wasn't going anywhere. When I mean I am not going anywhere, I am talking about my family. Come hell or high-water those boys will have time with me everyday. If she chooses to stay and be a part of it, great. Unfortunately, wives are a want, not an end all, be all need. I am a need for my kids (and she is as well, if she realizes that for sure).