calvin

We have been looking to get back into counseling for the both of us.The counseler we used for our individual issues was pretty good,nood so good for MC.My wife went to make a new appointment and counseler told her that when a wife cheats its always the husbands fault.WTF? He only wants to see me for a 12 week program cash only,before my insurance was fine,needless to say we are looking for another counseler.Always the mans fault? Thats not what he told me before.Any thoughts
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Beowulf

Yeah, I didn't know the circus was in town. This MC is a clown.

tokn

The counselor sounds like an idiot. Just like anything, just because they are professionals or have a license doesn't mean they can't be wrong or we should listen blindly.

If this were my counselor, they wouldn't be getting a cent from me.

Hope1964

Wow. Are you sure she heard right? I can't see any counselor actually saying that!!!

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Understanding the Pain - required reading for WS's
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bandit.45

Moron alert. Find a counselor that will hold both pairs of feet to the fire. You and CSS are each 50% responsible for the state of the marriage before and after the affair.

C, find a counselor who specializes in PTSD. Might be a bit hard to find one but that is what you need.
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Unsure in Seattle

Any thoughts? Sure. My thought is USE ANY OTHER COUNSELOR. What a jackass.

calvin

Yes he said it.He told me a couple months ago how sorry he felt for me and how bad my wife was.He did say that marriage issues were 50-50 that was awhile ago,now it is all my fault she had a EA...oh please
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snap

"Always" is always too strong qualifier when we're talking about people's relationships. It's not math.

Maybe he just likes your wife more out of you two

calvin

And to think we were going to go see him again.When he had us alone he pretty much bad mouthed the other spouse quite a bit
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Complexity

You should ask to see his qualifications then laugh

calvin

He just launched a web page where you can review his performance and rate him think I'll do that after work today
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Mistys dad

Somebody has to graduate at the bottom of the class.

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The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.

crossbar

That counselor is an asshat. Find one that specializes in infidelity.

isla~mama

I've read that women tend to cheat for emotional reasons, not physical reasons. In theory how a man treats his wife is within his control, as opposed to other factors that aren't within the betrayed spouse's control (like appearance, for instance). Perhaps that's what he meant.

Pit-of-my-stomach

Ask him if he minds repeating his professional opinion on tape.

You should also suggest he include that on his web page.

That would be interesting.

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