spudster

I just read your thread.

I think your biggest problem is lying. You lied to the good folks here on TAM telling them you had broken all contact off with the OM.

Well.

How are we to know you are not lying now? The OM may be sitting next to you while you are typing these posts.

You need to tell your husband the truth, that you never gave up the OM and you have been stringing him along. Do something honest for once.

Shaggy

You are choosing the OM over your husband.

And all it's costing is your husbands health and his soul.

I don't have any advice for you other than you continue to make selfish choices and are wrongly choosing to continue you freaking affair.

Life at home was hell because you were cintinuing to lie and cheat. No further fancy analysis is needed. Your selfish choices are entirely the cause of all of this.
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Beowulf

Your OM is a jerk. You don't see that?

This is exactly what is going on right now. You are waffling back and forth between the nice guy who literally worships the ground you walk on (husband) and the jerk who could care less about you personally and is only interested in the body part between your legs (OM). You are following the dual sexual strategy that leaves so many women alone and bitter because MR. Right didn't fall into their laps. You need to take a long hard look in the mirror because what you're doing is not going to end well for you. Its already destroying your husband and you aren't going to be far behind.

TBT

God I feel sorry for your husband.The OM has "the connection" that is more important to you above all things so go and be with him.I suspect the reality won't stand up to the fantasy when you do.When you divorce then make it a clean break and leave your husband to heal in his own way and without you in the picture at all.I feel bad for you in a way because I think if you don't change you'll always be on the chase,living a life unfulfilled,looking for that thing that is missing.In time your husband will heal,meet someone who truly loves him,have a family and a happier life and you'll just be a fading memory to him.If you love him as you say then this is the very least you could wish for him in my opinion.Maybe you can take some solace in that.Hope you find your way.

__________________
"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis

Complexity

This is as I expected all along, you were rationalizing your behaviour from the onset, no chemicals or anyother mumbojumbo. You were bailing a sinking ship with a bucket because fundamentally you were not compatible with your husband. I'm glad you filed for divorce, I just hope he doesn't get hooked on whatever drug your betrayal made him get on.

Hunger

I have been honest on TAM. There was a week and one time 2 weeks where I was posting several times that I was in NC with the OM hence the postings; yet I would fault and quit posting out of guilt and shame. My husband knows that I have struggled to let go of the OM. He can tell when I am in NC I act different and happier about working on things and when I am in contact I am down/depressed/confused and hate myself. :/ This is why I HAD to leave.

Hunger

Me too. :/

betamale

(sorry for the grammar, I'm not from any anglo-saxon country) Hunger, your problem isn't the affair nor the divorce, your mistake was getting married to somebody that you didn't love. He was pushy but you let him push you to the altar. I believe that you only cared about his looks without knowing him.

Don't worry about your ex husband though, if he is really that handsome (and young) women will chase him more than they did before he met you. They'll treat him like a sick puppy and since he's needy he'll fall sooner than later. Don't blame yourself for not being in love with him, that's not really your problem.

morituri

Each one of us is responsible for his/her actions. You are responsible for your affair with another man and your husband is responsible for his affair with drugs. So far it seems only one is owning up to her crap.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

Links

Hunger

Hmmm.... Do i know you? you signed up today and only left one comment on my thread.. hmmmmm.

spudster

Heh, heh.

You must have told your other man you were posting on this site, or he was there with you when you wrote today's posts.

CantSitStill

Oh my gosh! what?
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betamale

I don't believe that we have ever met. I read the whole story and noted that the title of your post ends with "Feedback encouraged". Did you mean it?

Beowulf

Certainly sounds like something the OM would say to discourage Hunger from trying to reconcile with her husband.

betamale

Dude, I live in South America. Ask the admin if my IP is from the U.S. before accusing me of being OM.

Everybody likes a happy ending but she never loved her husband and she doesn't even sound like she's missing him and probably the only reason why Hunger is sticking to OM is because she doesn't want to be with her husband. As soon as the husband moves on, the OM wont look that challenging anymore.