AngryandUsed

how come you are put up with such blatant marital violations?
Posted via Mobile Device

Brexin

A couple of reasons...

1) She was my first serious relationship, and the first girl i ever truly fell in love with.
2) im scared to leave the only person who has made me truly happy.
3) i dont want my son to grow up in a broken home

keko

That is exactly what you are in now, father is loyal but the mother screws around with other men.

morituri

First off STOP using the word 'mistake' to excuse bad behavior on BOTH your parts. You are both adults who should know the difference between right and wrong, not children unaware of the consequences of their actions.

I'm not going to mince words but the truth is that you are both better off divorced. You BOTH have unresolved issues, you possibly have PTSD as a result of your experiences while on the field of combat, and your wife has validation issues that cause her to seek the attention and affection from other men. NONE of you should be in a committed relationship until AFTER you address and resolve your individual issues.

Love is not enough to make a marriage viable. Trust and respect are equally important. It only takes one of them missing from the marriage to cause it to eventually die. I'm afraid that in your situation, the trust and respect have gone out the window.

It's your life, your call. I hope you choose wisely.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

Links

Brexin

I really respect and appreciate your answer, and your are right. We both probably shouldnt be in a relationship together

Updated the post, forgot to add this detail

tacoma

But it`s perfectly fine to set you on the career track of nanny to her multiple kids with multiple fathers?

Expose, dump her, move on.

Shaggy

Dude, I gotta say if you think she has been making you happy - then you're bar is set very very low.

What you are going to find is that other women would never ever treat you like she has. Frankly, they'd be broken messes sobbing and unable to get out of bed if at 24 they had 3 kids by 3 guys and had been cheating on their husband. Seriously, that's so far from normal there isn't a word to describe it.

Move on (and I mean run) from this one, and you're going to find that unless you are 3 1/2 foot tall troll with 3 eyes, that you will be able to seriously upgrade to someone much better.

Shaggy

btw - bear in mine that this is a PRO marriage forum, and we are still telling you to run.

Brexin

Lol, i like your answers, made me laugh ... I believe you guys are right, and i should run from this one

Entropy3000

Move along. Move along. This is not the wife you are looking for.

__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

warlock07

You give your wife too much credit. She was trying to cuckold you into bringing up another man's son. Don't believe her for one second. She is a train wreck. You guys should divorce. And expose her and her lover boy(Is he single by the way?).

Brexin

Is it really fair to trash her career though? It would ruin any kind of civil relationship we could ever have

warlock07

Yeah, maybe it is not a good idea if you have a kid together.You might want more opinions on this though. But if the staff sergeant is married, inform his SO(wife/gf) immediately

morituri

Going for the destruction of her career should only be made in the case where she was actively trying to destroy you. Is that the case? If not then don't. Divorce her and try to get counseling to resolve your personal issues to become a better man and a better father.

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

Links

jnj express

When you have read all of these posts for the 100th time, and you have thot, and thot---know the following

If her lover wants to be in the kids life---he will be in YOUR life for the next 18 yrs---till you are 42, and maybe even longer

The 1st kid having a different father---that situation is absolutely nothing like the child she is carrying, am I right she hasn't delivered yet.

The 3rd kid is from cheating on YOU----she was pissed at you---that's fine---there are many ways to deal with that w/out going out and screwing multiple guys---If it was 2 guys as she admits---why not 5, why not 10----you weren't there, you don't know---but you do know this---she lies, and she covers up-----

You would have never known any of this BUT FOR ---the fact that she got pregnant, and knew she would have to "out" herself

You may love her---but she has already at age 24 been thru 2 failed mge., cuz yes no matter how you wanna label it---right now the 2 of you are in a failed mge----A good solid mge---DOES NOT have the wife sleeping with other men, and getting pregnant with other men------had she had some brains, and obviously she doesn't, she would have at least used protection, which brings another point you need to get you checked for STD

Good luck, whatever you decide---you got a long hard road ahead of you, specially, if that lover's child is in your life---Whatever---do not let your wife make any decisions, about what YOU want for the rest of YOUR life---and make her lover support his child---money is tuff enuff to come by these days---w/out you having to support another man's kid.