crossbar

No, it doesn't make you heal, but reporting it to the military is the RIGHT thing to do. I take it that you weren't in the military so you wouldn't understand how important it is that he does this. She's not going to lose her job over this. She may get reduction of rank and a suspended bust. But the SNCO will also probably reduction of rank forfeiture of pay (but not so much to leave his family in the dust) and possibly some time in the stockade or restriction to the base for 30 to 60 days. He'll get hit harder because he was the Senior and he knows better. We had fraternization training all through our military careers and HE BROKE THE REGULATION!
But, what's REALLY important is the military will see about proving paternity. If it IS his child, the SNCO will have to have the kid registered in DEERS and Tricare (military health insurance) and the military will MAKE him pay child support and they'll automatically withdraw it from his paycheck! Military and state to two ENTIRELY different animals.

TeaLeaves4

Ok, that's an entirely different. But not purely out of spite as some others have advocated.
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river rat

It's interesting how many active and former military are on this post. Says something about the sacrifices they make. Thanks for the perspective.

hookares

Yeah, reacting out of spite is unkind to the cheater and the guy who's been cuckooing you. The VERY first priority the cuck should have is seeing that those who have offended him would be able to live comfortably since they did what they did for HIS BENEFIT.
The stupid guy who didn't see what was going on will get his reward in some mythical "afterlife".

Humble Pie

you requesting her to give you space while she was gone and her sleeping with and becoming pregnant with another man's baby is totally not in the same league!

Maybe is she had an emotional relationship, closer, but sex and becoming pregnant is by far not acceptable.

Brexin

She admitted to having an emotional affair with both guys as well. The first guy was a rebound. The second guy (the baby's daddy)... well she still loves him more then she loves me (she admits that).

I had a chance to talk to her last night about the baby and its father last night... She said that he would rather get kicked out of the military then give the baby up... so i cant use fraternization as leverage to keep him away unfortunately. My wife says she's thought about giving the baby up to him, but she's not sure she can live with that decision. What do i do, and what should i be asking on this particular subject?

morituri

What should you do? OPEN YOUR EYES AND ACCEPT THE TRUTH THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS OVER AND GO FILE FOR DIVORCE

__________________
"Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal." Robert A. Heinlein

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Shaggy

Look she's now told you that you are her #2 choice. she would drop you in a minute if she could be with him. He on the other hand won't leave his wife.

Here's what is going to happen. If you a foolish enough to let her stay, she WILL continue to see him, and she WILL continue to CHEAT with him. Oh, it she will tell you that he and her are just visiting with the baby, but they will be also having sex. If you're lucky, they won't make any more babies for you to raise.

Seriously. You are her #2, she's having his kid, she won't dump him out of her life. it sounds like she told him about the kid before telling you. Don't you see how you are only useful to her a baby raiser. No love. No respect. Just useful. A useful cuckold idiot.

Do you have such little respect for yourself as a man that you would accept being treated this way?

Shaggy

Oh, and help him have his dream come true. Report him and help him get kicked out of the army.

Brexin

I suppose your right... Idk ... And yes, she wasnt going to tell me who the REAL father was because he was a senior NOC and could get in a lot of trouble if i reported them... She had me believing it was guy #1's baby, not guy #2

Shaggy

She told you - she loves him more. What other kind of information do you need in order to know?

Brexin

I dont need anymore. I just figured that since im getting over my depression and becoming the same man she fell in love with, she would love me as much as she did before

Beowulf

She never loved you like you think she did. If she had loved you she would have stuck by you through your depression instead of cheating on you twice. The fact that she is also in the military means she should have been even more empathetic than someone else. Instead she acted on her own selfish impulses and disrespected you. You aren't losing the love of your life you are losing a fantasy. Wake up.

Beowulf

I will add that since the OM's wife is not willing to have any children the likelihood that she will not only continue to see him but produce more children for him is great. So what really will happen is that they will continue seeing each other in the guise of shared custody of their child. They will produce more children and you will have to watch her go through pregnancy after pregnancy knowing they aren't your children. Is that a marriage you really want?

Shaggy

But she's not the same woman as before. She is now a woman who has a permanent bond with this other guy that she is repeatedly choosing to protect over you.

How do you know his wife actually knows BTW? Because your wife told you? Don't believe her,she is now caught in several lies already. Find the OM using a PI or someone, find his wife, and tell her about the kid.

Oh, and what does he think is going to happen - that you'll pay for this kid? That you'll loose the sleep everynight, do the home work, and babysit - AND he'll pop over for play dates with your wife and have it will all be roses.

Where is his offer to pay 100% for the kid? Where is his offer to babysit while you and your wife go out together???

Don't use your depression etc as an excuse to talk yourself into staying with a woman who doesn't respect you.

Don't use your fear of making her face consequences to talk you out of reporting this OM to his command.

BTW - her getting out of the army will be good since she'll be around to care for her 3 kids.