slater

Well I went on a short trip with my wife, and while I was gone my old thread went on quite a run. Thanks to abdo, the thread was shut down for new posts, so I will continue my story here.

We had a reasonable trip. Mostly good, some bad. Certainly drinking on my part didn't help a couple nights. She is making big efforts to show me love, and it makes a noticeable difference on my mood. I am trying to do more and not punish her daily. It is hard, but the more I get from her, the easier it is. I am confident she has maintained NC, but certainly not sure.

I don't know what to say about all the comments in my other thread...what a mess that became. But thanks to those that made genuine responces.

AngryandUsed

Are you in therapy?

keko

Did you had her sign a post-nuptial agreement, as you said in the other thread?

slater

MC_-YES
@ keko- not yet, but I plan to.

keko

I asked because I just read your previous post's and it was a long affair. I don't think most people can just NC at an instant. Signing a PA would definately keep her in check if she decides for another round.

jnj express

I don't know---you may not like this post---but I think you should at least think about it

For 3 years as you said---you didn't know---and she treated you as if you were a non-entity----there was nothing there for you, emotionally---and you got the left overs physcially---for three years

You "out" her, and all of a sudden---magically you are the man----why is that-----

I would think that after a 3 year love affair---the other guy can't just be turned off cold turkey----so lets explore why all of a sudden, are you now her one and only true love, once again

Could it be that if you D., her, she is now on her own, her one job, won't suffice financially----she will work her butt off just to make ends meet, and when she comes home each and every night, she will be too tired to go out dating, be social whatever---plus she now has the kids when they are with her---full time on her OWN---she pays the sitter, she arranges everything-----you will not be there to help her out

Lets look at possible partners----what could be out there for her---bums, guys who want sex only, druggies, psychos, guys who will want her to support them----there sure won't be anyone like YOU out there

So what she is really facing if you leave---more or less TERRIFIES her.----Believe me, if for no other reason---this is a reason for her to be little miss goody 2 shoes and stay

Is she really staying for love-----where has that love been for the last 3 years----it was for another man----and as you said---you the innocent H---was left withering in the dust---given a few crumbs here and there, to keep you from suspecting

You can stay, and give her the greatest gift she will ever get---A SECOND CHANCE---but do you really want to????

You will be/are being beset with visions, I am sure---Your sub-conscious is all over the place, I am sure----you are triggered, I am sure

The only real thing to make these things slowly go away---is if she is out of your life

Is there any real semblance of happiness, or are you just going thru the motions, and living in misery---

Don't fake your answer---lay it out there----what is life REALLY like for you--------whatever you decide for your future----you have a whole lifetime ahead of you----do you REALLY want to spend the rest of it----looking at this woman knowing what she has done to you----and always wondering WHY she decided to stay?