I have been completely honest with my husband, when he questioned me about it I didn't lie, i told him exactly what had happened. Whats the point in lying
No you haven't been. Instead of working with him to fix what you were missing in the marriage, you decided to put huge amounts of effort into building a emotional and sexual relationship with a married man.
You did this deliberately, and you took steps to hide it from your husband.
If you had been at all honest with you, you wouldn't be here.
If you are now being honest with him, show him this forum so he can see the responses and get support too.
Tell him to contact the OMW and tell her about her husband cheating with you.
Married 20 years. He has been married to this woman for almost as long as you have been alive. Of course he is a bit bored. Of course he is flattered that you slept with him. Of course he tells you that he loves you, he probably does on one level.
He is attentive, worldly and lasts a while in bed.
This love is transient. It has no future because of your age difference and that he is married.
Well done for ending it. It is very hard to end, but do not mistake intensity for intimacy, longing is very seductive and believing that you have forbidden love is intoxicating.
If you have no feelings for your Husband, leave him without having the affair. You may still be able to be friends then.
Realise that your Lovely Engineer Affair partner can not and will not leave his children for you. His wife who had his children and supported him in every way that mattered will be devastated and the children's lives and mental health affected . Suicide is discussed here often on a BS discovery.
I am not beating you up. I want you to think about the things that an affair with a married man costs.
He is not yours.
He never will be.
Your young. made a choice to have an affair and now the consequences are going to hit you. Maybe see your Doctor and get some chemical help to help you get over the extreme sense of loss you will be feeling for your AP.
The feelings will last about 3 months. Make no decisions until you are over the dopamine hit.
I'm short on time so I'll keep my post short and blunt.
Pull your head out of your ass - K? You've been sold a fantasy, something totally not based in reality. Do you really believe that a man some twenty years older than you, with years of his life and kids invested in a marriage is going to sail off into the sunset with you? And even more - do you really believe that if he did the two of you have any chance of building a successful marriage together? If you're sitting there thinking "yes" you're probably thinking along the lines of "but we're soul mates" or "love conquerors all." I got news for you - THIS AIN'T LOVE!!! It's an affair - if anything it's the antithesis of love. It's all lies, deceit, total self indulgence and selfishness.
If you really believe you do not love your husband - fine divorce the man and let him move on. But don't for a second believe that you can give him or your marriage a fair and honest evaluation while your involved in an affair - you can't do it.
And so you don't dismiss me as a betrayed spouse with an axe to grind - I'm a cheater to. My affair went along the same lines - I didn't slip into actual sex but I'm guilty of almost everything else myself.
First thing, regardless of how sexless your marriage is , you had an affair with a married man with kids. Shame on you. You did not have to ruin his marriage for your own selfishness. What did his wife do to you?
Why did you not separate and find a single man to date if your marriage was so horrible. The OM will never leave his kids for you. Even if he did, you will have a winner that leaves his family for young pu$$y. I don't know what causes a young woman like you to take such horrible decisions at 24 years. You have a good life ahead of you. Don't muddle it up with affairs, cheating , married men and other sh!t.
Separate from your husband. Dump the married man. He is a user and is ruining your life(ie with your help. And you are destroying his life. Both of you have no future prospects because of the decit your relationship was built on). Take some time off. Change jobs if you have to. Be single for a while. Decide where you want to go from there
I went through a very, very similar situation - with one crucial difference: I wasn't married. He was 25 years older than I was, married (though he lied to me and said he was divorced), and the affair lasted 5 years in my early 20s. It destroyed almost everything good about my life. It was very hard to recover from it - I too thought I was in love with him etc. That's NOT love. Please listen to the advice here. These posters know of what they speak.
But know this: you are being taken advantage of by someone who sees you as nothing more than a young hot lay.
I think you should come clean to his wife. She has a right to know that her husband and the father of her children is sleeping around (you think you're the only one?) and putting her at risk of STDs.
Were you EVER in love with your husband? If you two decide to stay together, you're going to need counseling. And don't go having any kids for at least another 8-10 years. Get this totally sorted out first. He may decide in another 5 years that he can't deal with it.