KirkSpock

KittyKat, sometimes I wonder why I come here: the advice and information are AMAZINGLY helpful, but the aggravation and anger I feel at reading some of thee posts just can't be good for my health

Count of Monte Cristo

Hope is not a plan.

CH

So you met a good friend and married him because you don't want to be alone?

Now you met an older man, more assertive and sure of himself, settled down and more mature. In other words you're looking for a daddy to take care of you and fill some void you're missing.

But you want sex also. Your husband fills everything but the sex part.

Did you and your husband have crazy sex before getting married or was sex always been the same? If it's always been the same then it's probably not gonna happen and it might be time to find another father figure that will have sex with you.

moxy

You cheated and destroyed your marriage. You also destroyed the marriage of someone else whose kids are going to suffer the side-effects of your thoughtlessly horny and sleazy behavior.

Decide whether you want to beg your husband's forgiveness for all eternity or whether you just want to go out and have a good time.

I don't think you're mature enough to be married and I don't think you love your husband.

In my opinion, you should divorce the guy so that he can find someone who does love him and you should go off and find someone to hook up with -- and hopefully you have enough sense to break up with the married guy whose home you're wrecking.

__________________
"He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"“We first crush people to the earth, & then claim the right of trampling on them forever, because they are prostrate." -Lydia Maria Child.

happymarriage178

Hi,
First know that marriage requires work. Second, I think that it is awesome that you have been given an opportunity to start again and save your marriage. Not many are given that chance after an unfaithful situation, and you should be grateful for that. Remember that marriage is a covenant of love where you CHOOSE to love everyday of your married life. Never forget your vows, specially the part that talks about being together through the goods and the bads. Marriage takes some work, but the basics you need is love and a willing heart that fights for what is right. Don't be ashamed for what you did, but repent from it (that means turn your back to it and move forward). Crap happens and we all make mistakes. Don't listen to the condemnations on this page, the one witouth fault can throw the first rock ...Open your eyes and seek good, don't let your feelings and hormones blind you and keep you from doing what is right. It is only through un-selfcentered love that you can gain what you need.
Open your heart to your husband, let him know how much it hurts to not feel loved the way you need to feel love. Say it without pointing a finger at him, and do that in love and with love. Seek counseling if you need it. I recommend you read a book called 5 love languages, whether you are religious or not, it helps. Not everybody feel love the same way.
He may have some stuff he also needs to share with you. Ask him if there is anything on your side that needs to be fixed or that you could do to improve the situation. Maybe there are some things on your side keeping him apart. Hopefully he will open up to you too.
I am 28 and my husband is 29. We have been married for 4 years now, and I do also desire that passion and romance that we all dream of. Not like we never have sex, but I am more leaning towards the everyday passion, not only during intimate encounters. I logged in here today because of that. Earlier, when my husband got home I gave him a hard time (again) for not being passionate and super hugging (sort of what you see in the movies-the look in each others eyes-in love kind of look thing). He took it the wrong way and thought of it as nagging, and asked me why I always point at the wrong and not the good things he always does for me. It really made me think, because he is right. He is pushed away by my "nagging" at him about hugging me and passionately kissing me lol.. silly I know... but you know, he is right, he is too good for me to nag at him about this (he actually kisses me and hugs me all the time, just not the way I have pictured it in my head)... SO I will think of and enjoy the support, encouragement, protection, love he shows me through other things, while I wait for him to give me my portion of passion and romance that I dream of.

Maybe you can think of those things too, look at the light and the good in him. Highlight it and tell him about those things. Say sorry for nagging and start loving on him the way he feels love. Things may change for your benefit, and you can get the attention you want and deserve. Try and you may get surprised.