chapparal, she said she wasn't feeling attractive any more b/c i wasn't giving it to her (i wasn't as physically attracted to her for a period of time, and i now realize i could have done more to help her out, like go to the gym and exercise w/ her). so she had those PAs just to confirm she was physically desired, which apparently she was. random, no last name, no contact afterwards-type deals.
regarding this EA, i don't have evidence to prove one way or the other whether it has gone PA, but i just feel like she hasn't pulled any punches recently so why would she hide the fact that the EA went PA? it's not like she's been trying to not hurt my feelings any more. in fact, at one point, she told me she revealed the PAs so it would trigger me into getting so angry that i'd file for D. it didn't, but if that was her intention, why not just say the EA went PA as well?
and no, we don't have any kids, so our decisions will only be based on what we feel.
we are still living under the same roof but are like complete strangers now. we barely acknowledge each other, sleep as far apart on the same bed as possible, and we are both playing it extremely cool/indifferent, as if testing who will blink first (though i don't think she actually is testing me at all...i think she's really checked out).
we plan to talk about how to deal w/ our house and some of the logistical stuff for D. advice? just play it cool and go along w/ everything, while continuing to go out and live my life, hang w/ my friends, and not check in on a regular basis? i feel like such a bad person just ignoring my relationship, but is that really what it takes?? no one said the 180 was going to be easy...
Here is the thing gear. When you do the 180 you have to be positive. Smile a lot. Act like your life is great. Its just a life without her. Go out and don't tell her where you're going. Get dressed up. Look sharp. Get a haircut, new clothes. Smile when you leave and smile even more when you come home. She needs to see you are moving on and can live without her just fine and that your life is and will be fantastic. Don't be surprised if she starts asking you about what you are doing. Don't be surprised if she starts to engage with you more. Read these statements and memorize it well.
Women want men that do not need them.
Women want men that are better than they are.
Women want men they cannot have.
Women want men that have options.
Women want men that are confident, secure and live their lives on their terms.
You do that and see what happens. If she comes back to you and you decide to give it another shot, fine. But if she has permanently checked out you will be in a much better position to move on.
Remember you are the prize...not her!