There is only one person I know would know the truth and that is the friend she brought who is not part of the group. She is my wifes best friend and I know if I asked her she probably would not tell me and probably go right to my wife and tell her I called. I really have nobody to go to about this. I am so frustrated and scared. I am hoping my wife will feel guilty about what ever it is she did even if it was just talking and tell me. I know that I am going to slip up at MC today and reveal something. I just feel so bad I feel if she did something she cheated on not just me but my kids and everything we built together!
Gabriel - I did have the same type of thought on that but it does not make it any better. I have always trusted her. She has reassured me I have nothing to worry about when I saw the FB pictures. She knows this week I have been off and I told her that my mind runs wild its just the way I am. I told her I want to trust you so even if you do somthing I might now agree with I would rather her let me know. I gave her a window to tell me and she did not say a word. THis just sucks so bad. I have been working from home all week to try and get more clues but she just seems like business as usual.
Worried - not sure how she isn't noticing your change in behavior. When I get upset or worried like this (and it happened, trust me, I was in your shoes) she instantly questions me and asks me what is wrong. At some point, she is going to know something is up with you.
Here's another possibility. To help you get your answers faster, you can tell a white lie. Do you have a close friend that you can confide in? If so, maybe you can tell your W that this friend saw her with this man at 4am or something - and thus you know she is lying. Tell her it's been eating you alive, that you've been giving her chances to come clean, and now that she hasn't, you have to let this cat out of the bag.
Of course to do this, you'd have to get your story straight with your friend, and reveal what has happened to him. But it could be done if you have a friend willing to say he saw her.
IDK, maybe that backfires, but I can just feel how torn up you are, because I have soooooo been there and I would have done anything to get out of that hell as soon as humanly possible.
Edit: Further to this - you might not even need a real friend. You can say a friend saw them, and if your wife questions it, you can say you promised your friend not to say who it was, because they didn't want to get involved. If you can find out the name of the diner, that might help make it more believable. Or you can just say, "some late night restaurant".
She may not be having her period at all, she may be trying to put him off and cover up something down there. Perhaps she's worried she got an std and is waiting for test results. Posted via Mobile Device
Standard antibiotic treatment for some STDs is 10 - 14 days. No sex for two weeks - a very strange coincidence to say the least. Can you check the medicine cabinet for new medication? Maybe her purse and her car also.
Is there anyway you can get info on the Dr. visit? Some insurance will list payment by procedure. If she is on your insurance you can call them and request exactly what medical tests were performed. Might give a little more info.
On a more serious note - vaginal bleeding can be an early sign of some very serious diseases. I think you have a right to be concerned and ask for more info about this.
COguy,
Sure the OP can stand up now and make his W choose between her current path of a healthier marriage but he will never find out what really went on, this would all get swept under the rug, only to resurface 2 maybe 5 years from now when they both havent made any effort in changing there marriage.
COnfront with hard evidence that is undeniable and I have a feeling they can work it out, but to rug sweep this its only a matter of time that OP wife get sucked into an EA....no longer ONS, but an affair that may not be breakable.
IMHO, it all fun and games for his W with really no emotional attachment. validat and prove her unhealthy behavior now then she may take the stepps to keep Worried h around.
Again she nows this is a deal breaker she will deny until her grave, and only admit to what worried knows.
Doesn't the iPhone use a program called Cloud for automatic backups? Can you tap into this or use it? I'm not a techie, but alot of the posters here can tell you how to do it.
There is only one person I know would know the truth and that is the friend she brought who is not part of the group. She is my wifes best friend and I know if I asked her she probably would not tell me and probably go right to my wife and tell her I called. I really have nobody to go to about this. I am so frustrated and scared. I am hoping my wife will feel guilty about what ever it is she did even if it was just talking and tell me. I know that I am going to slip up at MC today and reveal something. I just feel so bad I feel if she did something she cheated on not just me but my kids and everything we built together!
First off, a cheating spouse will rarely up and admit there lies because of guilt. Cognitive dissonance generally prevents this. This is a scientific phenomenon where your brain can not hold conflicting idealogies about itself. What that means is that a cheating woman did not cheat on her husband. She was forced into the situation because she was drunk, her life sucks, she should have never gotten married, her husband is "controlling", she feels trapped, she doesn't know what she wants, she got married too young, she needs to feel free, she needs to experience life, etc. etc. By admitting that she screwed up royally for no reason is tantamount to admitting that you are a morally corrupt person. The brain can not both hold that you are of sound judgement and a cheater at the same time, so rationalization has to occur.
This is why women will start getting wishy washy when they start to get into wayward activities. There will be a rationalization for everything until the buck stops. Usually this is done with hard proof or divorce papers (ie I'm leaving you until you want to start telling the truth).
In your case you know that she lied at least once, you have enough info to bluff your way into her admission. Something similar I did with my wife (though admittedly I had some proof of something else).
Basically I told her we're getting a divorce and it's over, she wanted to know why, I told her she lied to me and trust was broken. When she wanted to talk, I told her she had one chance to tell me everything that happened and if she lied at all we were done forever. She doesn't have to know what exactly you know, she was with 20 girls that night and random dudes in a bar, someone could have told you what happened. One of your friends at the bar that night, one of her friends, band member, doctor, etc.
If it turns out nothing happened, then you can play the late night at dinner with a dude card. Which is enough for a normal man to divorce his wife over anyway. If my wife was eating dinner alone at 2:30am with a single guy when she went out with 20 friends, staying overnight, and then giggling at 5:30 in the morning at the same hotel, it would be the same result as her sleeping with another dude.
Good, start here;
1) investigate quitely, gather proof, be strong with what you find and gather it up, it will be hard and you will want to blow up as the evidence gets worse and leads to the painful fact.
2) effectively confront with the over whelming proof you have gather, stay calm and confident, any reaction that she is expecting will validate her behavior in why she is acting this way and why its all your fualt. So gett your self well prepared for an positive confrontation
3) take the time to make any life altering discion.
As short and rough this plan is, my point is make a plan with a mission and work the plan, starta journal and keep posting here.
Having an educated plan will giving some direction, it won't take the pain away but it will give you the direction in dealing with your wife(for now) unhealthy behavior in the marriage.
Alot of great perspective and advice, soak it in and come up with works best for you. The bggest thing is to come up with a plan and work the plan, eat....your not eating and goo see the doctor, he will gve something to help in the anziaty, depression and lack of sleep.
Take care of your self 1st then you will have the strenth in dealing with your marriage, and stay away from the booze.
who knows your wife *might* see some changes in you and think twice about so many GNO that are wrecking her marriage.....I doubt it, like I said its an addiction for her now.
Doesn't the iPhone use a program called Cloud for automatic backups? Can you tap into this or use it? I'm not a techie, but alot of the posters here can tell you how to do it.
iPhone kind of blows for that (from experience lol).
Here's what I did. Turn off imessages, now you can view all text messages and phone calls from your carriers website.
There's no program to forward SMS messages, so if she deletes those you are screwed. What I told my wife is if she deletes another text message we are done. The next day she showed me she didn't delete any, I verified the messages with the carrier data of timestamps, and saw she selectively deleted texts.
Another thing I did is autoforward her facebook messages to her email address. Then I went on her email and sent all FB messages to a folder she would never check (you can autoforward to your own email if you want from either FB or her email). That way I can tell if someone messaged her and she deleted it, which she was also doing.
But, this says nothing of emails and other programs ( words with friends, skype, etc.). If someone wants to cheat, there's ways to do so. Anyone can pick up a prepaid phone for $30 and become an untrackable cheater.
If she has a new friend she may be her new confident. Any communication with the new girl friend may lead to some additional evidence.
I think the gyno thing is a a solid start, along with the time line on the cell.
Then there is always the next GNO, a good time to hire a PI.
I'm hoping that its early enough to were it just a bad behavior that can be nipped before she actually finds someone to replace Worriedhusband.
I'm thinking its a the single life style that GNO have to offer that is addicting, and when brought to light of day then some changes can be made along with some professional help for the WW in finding out why she needs to be validated by strang men.
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Re: I am concerned my wife may have cheated 
