Re: Fingers and Toes Crossed!!!
I almost blew it. My anger was out of control and the heavy drinking early on made my wife want to D me. I do not blame her. We came a long way over the weekend. No sex, not much affection and i need it. But it was my fault. My sons turned against me and two of her brothers due to my anger. I was able to talk to one son (the other one is in Virginia) and her one brother. I promised not to get out of control again. I said I have a right to be angry but not out of control.
Talk about reversals.
Being apart during the week stinks and I told my wife if we were together everyday I would have not been out of control because my mind goes places and imagines things that are not happening. Not excusing my drinking and abusive outbursts, but we would be further along in the process.
Can't wait till we move into our new home so we can be together to work things out.
I understand why my wife shut down. It was my fault. I would have gotten a lot more out of her in the past months if I had been nicer.
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.