The very first thing that cannot happen is that business trip, even if it cost her her job. If she leaves with the man she's having an EA with she'll return with the man she's having a PA with. Guaranteed. If the EA progresses to a PA your problems get a million times worse.
Tell her what you will and won't accept, what the consequences are then stick to it. As you've read in this thread, treat her just like a drug addict you are trying to get clean.
Regardless she cannot go on that trip. If she goes believing she can come back and still be married you might as well start setting the OM a plate at your table because he'll be a full on member of your marriage.
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