Am I Paranoid?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Am I Paranoid?

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-06-2012, 03:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Am I Paranoid?

Well I can answer YES...
but with the specific event I would appreciate an outsider's opinion on whether or not I'm reading more into this AND/OR if I should ask him straight up about it?

Quick rundown: my H EA was started at a product expo show in Vegas. Of the MANY reasons and excuses as to why in the beginning was never convinced anything was wrong was bc OW was in a similar industry, blah blah blah. Over the years we have worked to no FB, email, Text, etc. Recently he agrees "maybe" it was an EA but still not 100% convinced will willing to stop due to my emotions and other PA since then.

He is in sales and over the last few months he has been focusing on introducing a new industry to his company (I will call it cleaning-ha) and it's been going good etc. I JUST googled this girl (I've been refraining from reading her emails and looking her up bc it causes me to trigger-I'm VERY jealous of her). She has switched jobs in January to the "cleaning" industry.

Aghhh....am I being dumb? Searching for something that isn't there and this could all be a coincidence?
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-06-2012, 03:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
canttrustu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,672
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, Ingalls. How has HE been acting in the meantime? I guess the question is are the two industries related? Is there a natural progression? I mean is it like for example
landscaping and lawnmowing OR
Banking and pharmacueiticals?
canttrustu is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 03:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Quote:
Originally Posted by canttrustu View Post
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, Ingalls. How has HE been acting in the meantime? I guess the question is are the two industries related? Is there a natural progression? I mean is it like for example
landscaping and lawnmowing OR
Banking and pharmacueiticals?
He can sell to any industry really...but they have honed in on a few specific ones over the last 15 years. Now he added this one. Urgh, she does live like 5 states away. I went through his sales records and none have her company name on them.

I mentioned he stopped her OLD company newsletter/emails to him 2 months ago, but never told me and when I asked why I'm not seeing those company emails anymore he says "Oh I deleted my email from receiving those anymore because it bothers you each time you see it." [that's true-it bothered me]
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 03:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
canttrustu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,672
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

SOOO, it COULD be coincidence? right? In fact he may not even know she's changed jobs. Keep your eyes open,Ing.


But in answer to your question- Are you paranoid??? I think paranoia is when you have no real reason to be concerned. I think he has given you reason in the past to remain vigilant.

Last edited by canttrustu; 04-06-2012 at 03:41 PM.
canttrustu is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 03:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Kurosity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 630
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Quote:
Originally Posted by canttrustu View Post
SOOO, it COULD be coincidence? right? In fact he may not even know she's changed jobs. Keep your eyes open,Ing.
I agree fully with canttrustu. I think that after a A of any kind the bs always becomes more paranoid when things look like a coincidence because we have learned that sometimes they are not. I would just keep an eye open but do not make your self crazy with it.
Kurosity is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 03:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Thanks CTT and Kurosity:
I should have NEVER looked the OW up. It set me spinning and I thought I was strong enough. Now I'm jealous all over again. She is perfect (not like what I've read on OW). 8 years younger, yoga master, hiking, white water rafting, single, travels, positive (her tweets could encourage even me), runner, etc....oh she lives in the ONE PLACE my H would say he wishes he could live since we dated in high school. Crap.
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 04:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
canttrustu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,672
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ingalls View Post
Thanks CTT and Kurosity:
I should have NEVER looked the OW up. It set me spinning and I thought I was strong enough. Now I'm jealous all over again. She is perfect (not like what I've read on OW). 8 years younger, yoga master, hiking, white water rafting, single, travels, positive (her tweets could encourage even me), runner, etc....oh she lives in the ONE PLACE my H would say he wishes he could live since we dated in high school. Crap.
BUT.....he's married and chooses to stay with YOU.
canttrustu is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-06-2012, 08:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SE USA
Posts: 1,625
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Recently he agrees "maybe" it was an EA but still not 100% convinced will willing to stop due to my emotions and other PA since then.

PA? Yours or his?
TDSC60 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-07-2012, 09:31 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

He kissed a girl- his pa. Not related to his EA. It was a drunk night girl was 21 he 38
Posted via Mobile Device
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-12-2012, 05:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Paranoid again! When is it gonna end? So far gut instincts have all be correct. SO....
last week I started this post and he WAS hiding porn from from me. Now he isn't replying to emails or texts for 3 hours??? I just want to NOT be like this but can't control it???
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-12-2012, 05:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 78
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

I've always heard women have very strong intuition or "sixth" sense, i think there some element of truth to it.

Listen to your gut, keep your eyes peel for changes in behavior and start digging for answers, email accounts, text, phone records.
tokn is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-12-2012, 05:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Kurosity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 630
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Yeah keep your eyes open.

I know what you mean about it making you crazy but the fact is you are not. It seems to be the reaction people have to such things. (the steps of the grief process does this to us)

At one point I litterally thought I was loosing my mind and that these weird things I saw in my H was just my self making things up. But a friend of mine reminded me that I knew him better then anyone could and once habits in behavior change on a dime that something is up because there has to be lot for one to break habits so quickly. I think it is like 40 days to break a habit for good. But all my crazy thoughts were confirmed and I was shocked that I "saw" so much more then others did but I learned to trust my self.
I would take the time to check on him but also take a breather and do things that make you feel less crazy, little distractions are healthy once in a while esp. if you are feeling nuts stop and breath.
She may seem perfect but that is just her showing people what she wants them to see. Rarely do people share their flaws openly. I bet you are just as perfect in your own way and you should stop compairing your self to her because your self esteem is not going to get better for it. Really I bet ten to one that she has enough flaws to sink a ship in their weight.
Kurosity is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-12-2012, 11:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Ingalls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 254
Default Re: Am I Paranoid?

Thanks token and kurosity
Posted via Mobile Device
Ingalls is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help me! Am I right or just paranoid? JimmyK General Relationship Discussion 99 12-14-2012 11:49 PM
Am i just being paranoid charlotte2 General Relationship Discussion 31 12-13-2012 01:35 AM
Am I just being paranoid? jeefer76 Coping with Infidelity 21 06-28-2012 12:40 PM
Am I paranoid? sorry4everything General Relationship Discussion 17 12-27-2010 01:02 AM
Am I just paranoid ??? brizz20 General Relationship Discussion 6 12-09-2009 10:19 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:44 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.