Re: I caught my wife cheating and waiting her to come home
You come off as timid in your posts. When you do this you must be strong, firm, and confident. You must be willing to lose your marriage in order to save it.
Start off by telling her you need to talk to her. Tell her how she acts in the next 15 minutes may determine whether or not you stay married or get divorced.
Tell your wife you love her, that you have always loved her, that you want to improve your marriage, that you want to improve as a husband, and you are willing to work on all of those things, otherwise you would not even be having this conversation.
Then, tell her you know she is cheating. Tell her you have evidence. Do not tell her what it is or how you got it. Tell her some of the details, so she knows that you know, but not all of them and not enough for her to figure out how you got the details.
Tell her she must choose, you or him. I know from your other thread that the other man is her business partner. If she chooses you, she must go no contact with him other than what is business-related. She must begin to extricate herself from that situation immediately, making plans for her or him to leave the business. She must account for her whereabouts 100 percent of the time. She must give you complete access to all her communication devices and accounts. Tell her if she refuses to meet your conditions, you will file for divorce. Then, if she fails to meet your conditions, do it. You can stop the divorce proceedings at any time if she later agrees to your conditions, but don't tell her that.
Most likely she will get mad at you, leave, and immediately contact him.
You must contact his wife or girlfriend and let her know what is going on. Tell her you have evidence, don't tell her how you got the evidence. You can give her details, but not enough that she will know how you got the details. Also contact her family and let them know she is having an affair and ask for their help in saving your marriage.
Most likely he will throw your wife under the bus and choose his wife, at which point your wife will come back, but angry and not yet willing to meet your conditions. You must insist your conditions are met or this thing will start right back up. Continue the divorce process until you are confident she is meeting your conditions willingly, not just begrudgingly.
If she chooses him, tell her to leave and go be with him. You do not leave your own house. She can leave if she wants. You do not leave.
You must be strong, firm, and confident. Calm. As emotionless as possible. You come across as timid and unsure of yourself in your posts, you will not be as effective if you come across that way when you confront.
Last edited by Will_Kane; 04-09-2012 at 11:21 AM.