Being a stay at home dad and she is a work all day i never leave house while she is home. And if i do she has to watch my kids. I'm just trying to figure out where they would do stuff, obviously the answer would be a car. GPS i put in her car has only been there 6 days so i still have to gather more evidence.
In that case they'll do it before coming home, during lunch or after work. Definately don't waste anymore time and place a VAR in her car. Are you able to monitor her location via GPS real time or do you have to bring back the GPS and load the data?
If you didn't find this guy's name in her contact list, she may have programmed her number as her mother, sister, friend, etc. That way, if you see a text from her mother, you won't be suspicious.
Go back through her contacts list and look at each one individually to find his number.
Gather the evidence then confront, it will be more effective when you have no doubt what she is doing. Don't reveal your source's but go in to the confrontation knowing damb well what you are talking about, She can lie all she wants but you will know damb well the what you have is worth a drip to the lawyers office and worth exposing this to OMW.
In fact expose to OMW 1st and tell her you have proof, but again don't reveal your source.
Just remember to not reveal you source's, she will know you know by how confident you are handleing it. It won't be a matter of "are you....." but it will be more like "you did this and that on this day and you continue to do this"....... even then it may be best to be more vage.
She knows she's doing you wrong, you don't really have to be specific, just the confident tune and the willing ness to ask her to leave when she continues to try to deciet you will show how confident you really are in what you are accusing her of.
One trick to see if a number is in the phone is to dial it from the phone. If its in there it will display the saved name when it dials. Posted via Mobile Device
Yes, GPS is real time. I track her from my iPhone. It's updates every minute. I will def get a VAR and Velcro. I know it's only been 6 days with GPS. I will be more patient and I'm sure they will screw up sooner or later. Posted via Mobile Device
One trick to see if a number is in the phone is to dial it from the phone. If its in there it will display the saved name when it dials. Posted via Mobile Device
That's a good idea. The OP could claim his battery is dead. Also, if the OM answers with some variant of, "I want to lick X off of your Y," then you've got some pretty good evidence right there.
Jerry, be patient here. While it does seem you have the right to be suspicious, there are no flaming red flags yet. It could be nothing. The VAR is a good idea.
Another possible idea is to casually say something to his wife. Something in a joking tone, like, "well it looks like our spouses are turning into new best friends or something..." She may be getting suspicious too and this could open the door to getting her thoughts.
Further to my first post - another variation (if you really get the impression she is for sure up to no good), is to tell his wife exactly what you witnessed. Believe me, her ears will perk up big time, and two investigators are defintely better than one.
If you go this route, you have to have a pact with her that neither says anything to their spouse until sufficient evidence is gathered. She could really be your ally here - just be careful. Some of this depends on how comfortable you are talking with his wife. Is she a stay-at-home mom? If so, there would be time to talk to her about this while your W and her H are at work.
Further to my first post - another variation (if you really get the impression she is for sure up to no good), is to tell his wife exactly what you witnessed. Believe me, her ears will perk up big time, and two investigators are defintely better than one.
If you go this route, you have to have a pact with her that neither says anything to their spouse until sufficient evidence is gathered. She could really be your ally here - just be careful. Some of this depends on how comfortable you are talking with his wife. Is she a stay-at-home mom? If so, there would be time to talk to her about this while your W and her H are at work.
One risk from this is what if she isn't very bright and confront's the OM right away? Telling him OP told her so.
I think dropping a few hinting sentence's might be better as in your first post.
Your wife, if she is in an affair, will do it when you are at home taking care of kids. She can plan it well enough not to be doubtful. You need to somehow remove yourself and the kids from the equation to bait them. See if you can do that.
stay frosty, my friend.....something is amiss here.
this guy is definetly coming after your wife. you need to set some bounderies with him. let him know just because you're a SAHD, you won't be trampled on by another suitor.
jerry- feel your pain. Successful wife, etc, etc. I had the same blackberry issue as you, work phone, locked. I did the same, waited til she looked at it then went to shower or whatever.
there are 2 ways for them to message, sms text messages and blackberry chat (I thin its called messenger)) Most likely if he has a blackberry they are using the chat form. If he does not have a blackberry they are using regular texts. My wife was smart enough to delete all her chats, but try to open that up. You use the track ball to drive around. One idea, is tell your kid mommy has a cool game on her phone (brick breaker) and see if she will give them the password. my 8 yr old knew my wife's pass and told me. Or try to leave your phone behind one day and pick hers up and straight up ask her what the pass is so you can make a call.
It doesn't sound good, but get evidence. The VAR and velcro got me evidence in 2 days. Sorry you are here.
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