I'm a 44 Y/O stay at home dad for the last 8 years. My wife of 14 years works full time and has a high position there. Generally i never though my wife would cheat since we have had a great marriage. Then, last june/July we have been good friends with a couple 4 houses down. The couple is married with 2 kids like us. Well the husband is that type of guy who is 40 but acts 18. He likes to throw out sex talk when we are around.
And he sees that it made my wife laugh a few times. Well now i will get to the part that makes you go "HMM". In October last year This guy came by on his tractor with some wood for us in tow. He dumped it in a pile about 30 yards from where my wife was getting groceries out of car and drove back to her car while i stacked the wood. I came walking up to them but they did not really see me coming and they both stopped talking right away. He helped bring groceries in and left. I noticed she changed her persona and was all of a sudden really happy minded and was talking alot to me and kids about just things in general for the next 20-30 minutes.
So for the next 2-3 weeks this guy tells his friends/us/his wife that he started working out and wants to get into shape.
So i needed my wife to drive me somewhere one morning and she stood at the kids bus stop and i stayed in car and she waited 10 feet from car for bus. Well here comes this guy who drops his kid off at same bus stop. Walks up and said quietly "where's your husband". She says, "he is right there in the car". Shocked a bit he comes over and shakes my hand and says whats up Jerry. Then i can notice her just turn away and stay quiet.
Then a few weeks later she wanted to go out shopping and was gone for like 3 hours. Of course she came home with stuff but looked weird that 3 hours for 3-4 bags was strange. Then as soon as she got home (i mean within 2 minutes) this guy calls my cell phone and starts an idle conversation. something about how to cook some meal.
Then, we are getting close to christmas now and my wife and i are buying alcohol for parties and she sees this Patron gift pack. She says "Hmm, this would make a great gift for someone" does not say a name but i could tell she wanted me to say this guy. Because he likes Patron. But she would not say his name, i could so tell she wanted me to come out with it. I did not and she put it down and we moved on.
Well, i started putting a GPS tracking device in her car because i have not confronted her about my suspicions until i have proof.
So, should i ask her about or just wait to have proof? If i ask her she may try and be more careful and that would make it harder to track her.
BTW, our sex life has not changed much. for the most part we have sex 1-2 times a week. She is fit and has been all her life so it's not like she is trying to lose weight all of a sudden. But, around the time i thought she was doing stuff with him last year she wanted to have sex in morning a few times which we have not done in 12 years. Also noticed she would be a ***** to me for no reason for 2-3 days on end then would be fine for weeks.
All help is appreciated...
Your gut is telling you that there is something follow it.
My wife was having sex with the OM and a few hours having sex with me. Once she reached over in bed grabbed me down there and said, something like, hey you are hard, give it to me while you can. She has never done that before. So, yea, the posibility that your wife is still arosed after having sex with the OM is real. But it may be nothing.
Do you have access to her phone logs?
Do you have access to her computer?
Are you two an open book with passwords?
I would also put a VAR in her car. Cheaters like to talk in their cars.
Signs are there but be careful. There may be nothing.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Definitely some signs, but make sure before you confront her. If all you have is suspicion, she will go underground and get better at covering her tracks.
yeah, there is this ball point pen video/audio recorder i can buy.
And no, she has a blackberry for work and keeps it on lock. But ive noticed if she checks her emails and walks away i have a minute or 2 before it goes in to lock mode. I've been checking it the last few weeks this way. Looked for this guys phone number on her contact list but its not there. Want to check texts but don't know how to on blackberry...
Have you checked the cell records? If they are cheating ,they are being very careful. the pen audio recorder won't work(Since it will be in the bag)
I would suggest throwing them a bait(a few times if you have) Leave your house and say you are going to meet a friend of yours next town and you will be gone for 5 -6 hrs. See if this works. Check your bank/credit card statements for any unusual bills. If she uses a computer, check her history.
It looks bad. Usually your gut is not wrong. What are you going to do when you catch her? The guy sounds like a slime. I am afraid she may be putting you at risk for STD's.
She never uses our computer...Just her blackberry alot. Does anyone know how to check texts on Blackberry?
I so want to confront her, and look for signals of lying. of course she will say no, i just know she will. If i find out it's true i can't live near this guy and i probably would not stay with her.
Have you checked the cell records? If they are cheating ,they are being very careful. the pen audio recorder won't work(Since it will be in the bag)
I would suggest throwing them a bait(a few times if you have) Leave your house and say you are going to meet a friend of yours next town and you will be gone for 5 -6 hrs. See if this works. Check your bank/credit card statements for any unusual bills. If she uses a computer, check her history.
Can't check her work blackberry cell records...but thanks for advice. Can't leave for 5-6 hours since our kids are 4-9 and someone would have to watch them.
There definately some red flags, but if you confront with what little know they will deny and go further underground.
Place a VAR(Voice activated recorder) in her car.
Do you ever leave the house? If you do I would definately place a few hidden camera's around and in the house. Considering he is your neighbor, it's likely upon you leaving something will happen in your house.
There definately some red flags, but if you confront with what little know they will deny and go further underground.
Place a VAR(Voice activated recorder) in her car.
Do you ever leave the house? If you do I would definately place a few hidden camera's around and in the house. Considering he is your neighbor, it's likely upon you leaving something will happen in your house.
Being a stay at home dad and she is a work all day i never leave house while she is home. And if i do she has to watch my kids. I'm just trying to figure out where they would do stuff, obviously the answer would be a car. GPS i put in her car has only been there 6 days so i still have to gather more evidence.
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