Kallan Pavithran

She cheated you, lied you for two long yrs and got pregnant with some ones seed, you took only ten minute to forgive her, dont you feel something wrong with your selfrespect and morals. Are you too low moraled to forgive this in less than ten minute.

Two yrs of your marriage was a lie, nothing she told was true, nothing she expressed as her emotions or love for you were lie. She may have been talking to you while OM banging her a$$ out. wah.......

She dont deserve a second chance, kick her out of your life, else your life will be nothing more than pain, distrust, and hate. Do you want rest of your life like that? if no kick her out and Divorce her. No need for looking back. There is lot of nice girls who deserve you. Not this horrible disrespectful cheating wife.

Toffer

Sorry Vic but I couldn't even go through all the posts after reading your initial one.

Let's see if I have this right:

1 - She cheated on you
2 - She did not fess up to it until caught
3 - The OM had his way with her (unprotected sex, God only knows how many times)
4 - She was carrying his baby and you agreed that this was OK
5 - She basically told you to go f*ck yourself when you told her to have NC with the slime ball that put his you-know-what in here and knocked her up
6 - She exposed you to all sorts of nasty STDs (and a possible death sentence)
7 - She's not beiing receptive to any of your messages now that you're back overseas
8 - You KNOW she's letting him do all sorts of things to her again
9 - You are OK with all the above?????????

For the love of God man, you need to grow a pair right now (at least a pair that is as big as your wife's an her lover's!)

CH

VicG, have you seen the old 80's movies Last American Virgin?

Guy loves girl, girl loves another guy. Gets pregnant and other guy drops her like a rock. You (1st guy) cares for her and helps her get an abortion.

In the end, girl goes back to the other guy. 1st guy you, drives off crying his heart out and the movie ends.

But in this movie, it keeps going on and you keep staying with her saying you need to protect her. How about you protect yourself instead, so what if everyone shuns her, she doesn't care about you except for your money to let her keep going out, have a roof under her head, food on the table.

If I was her, I would be the happiest person alive, got the chump, Oh I mean loving husband to pay for everything and I get to bang the love of my life (which isn't you BTW). You're the ATM machine at the current time, the OM is the MAN who gets her the other way you can't since you're over seas.

So, why are you breaking your back working overseas to make a good life for you and her again???

Tap1214

Toffer is absolutely right! And STOP apologizing to your wife, for God's sake. It's not your fault that she cheated on you and got pregnant with OM's child.
The reality is, your wife doesn't respect you or love you. She's holding on to you and keeping you on a limbo for financial reasons only. Meaning, while you are overseas, she's spending your money hanging out with OM.
I'm sorry, but sometimes TRUTH hurts! Be strong, gain some self-respect and move on with your life.
I have a feeling, if your parents / family knows about what your wife did to you, they would be horrified. Tell them, as you will be needing their emotional support and advice!

Pit-of-my-stomach

Your thread title is wrong. Your wife did move on. From you. Likely, a long time ago. She just didnt tell you.

Sorry, I doubt your even the second choice. She's just saying that because she's a self centered b*tch and she might need to use you for something later...

Move on, it's over.

__________________
Never say Never- The Fog
4 No0bs

Kallan Pavithran

What happened to this guys self respect and self esteem? why he is behaving like a cuckold or a doormat?
He know she is again banging OM and she will be again get knocked up by OM. I think he will again go to her and get an abortion or become ready to take OM child as his, till she leave him. (i dont think that she will leave him because its very difficult to find a such niceeeee husband in this world)

Vic G

I was a complete doormat. I couldn't agree more.

Just set my wife straight a few hours ago. Made her severe all ties with OM, threatened her with D and all sorts of lawsuits, for her and OM. They are both professionals, so it will destroy their lives completely with something like this.

Just like from what I read here, she was angry, accused me of snooping, invading her privacy, forcing her to a dead end... blah blah blah.... I told her she could go announce to the world what she did, and leave me to be with OM if she wanted, but all she did was cry and cry. Well too bad. Our marriage can live with a little anger and hate for now. Will see is she really repents and is sincere at R.

Any ideas how to go on from here dear friends? Deep inside, would still like to R, but with all these emotions, wonder where it's headed...

Eli-Zor

For a start read the newbie thread for templates and supporting information

As you are on a roll , have her hand write a no contact letter that you post
Both her parents and yours should know of the affair and her commitment to work on the marriage
Full transparency in every thing , no passwords or hidden accounts


Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this
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Eli-Zor

and expose the affair to his family and friends
If they work together or in an industry that enables contact with each othen she leaves her job.
Posted via Mobile Device

Vic G

Thanks a lot,
I have read the newbie thread, that's how I started waking up from my stupidity, along with all the good thrashing I got from the kind folks here...

No, they don't work together. I have all her passwords and stuff, even saved her credit card bills and recorded all the conversations I had with her regarding the A.

cledus_snow

you're getting your b*lls back, son. good for you.

i'd expose no matter what. i'll knock her back into reality-- kill the affair fantasy.

snap

Expose.

Also, count on her taking it underground. Be prepared to follow up with whatever you promised.

Vic G

Ooh, she did try to take it underground, but wasn't wise enough to hide it too well. I figured it out and printed every email and chat they had.

That's when I threatened legal action to destroy them both.

Will keep a even closer eye now. But what the heck? If it goes on, why even R right? Just destroy them both.

Vic G

Will the anger and hate subside? She's pretty pissed off I guess. But I'm standing my ground.

What should I do next to R? She says she's not ready for counseling. Well, mayb talking to a stranger isn't really our Asian norm. Doesn't feel too comforting for me as well. Given time, mayb we'll go for it.

I can't go all softie for her again, I'm not going to woo her back. But I'm stuck. What do I do next?

OldWolf57

you D her dude, anger and no counseling are a very bad sign. And why do she even have a choice. This woman got preg from another man. You will remember that for the rest of your married lives, and if you don't get help it will be like a cancer in your soul.