Thank you Remains......I've taken my first steps to overcome my own issues. I have realized I choose to be grumpy...sad.... and boring...I control my own happiness. I think I got worse when I gained weight. I was less happy with myself. I was 223 lbs at my heaviest. In 6 months I've dropped it down to 190 lbs. I'm socialable outside the house but need to find new friends.....and not be in my wife's armpits 24/7. I've sort of lost my identify or being walked over by my wife for a long time. I made no effort to make new friends outside my family and life.....because I always had my wife as my best friend. But I'm learning and will continue to improve because I want to. I control my state of mind in life.
Divorce will kill her parents.....not an option 95% sure...... her had is already having chest complains and was taken to the doctor yesterday.
Are you living for yourself and for the well being of the children or for your inlaws? If for yourself and children then divorce is the best option. Throw her out of the house, let she choose between your family and OM. If she choose OM then let she go else she should act as a married lady and stop all contact with OM. She cant have cake and eat it too.
Your marriage is falling apart, the wife is in an incestuous relationship with her nephew, and you're worried you might kill your father in law if you divorce her? Well hell, guess you might as well go on getting sh*t on. You have learned to take the blame for her on all fronts haven't you.
Look, grow up, act like a man and level some heavy consequences against her. At the very least do the 180. Posted via Mobile Device
Leave your wife's nephew alone---you didn't take vows with him
Your beef is with your wife
All I read on here is excuse after excuse for every F'ing thing in the book
Stop the BS, and take some action----your wife isn't gonna back off/do anything, unless forced to
Midlife crisis, whatever else, are all her excuses for continuing to talk to her newphew----one of these days the talk will stop, and the sex will begin, if it already hasn't----and your whole situation is gonna become a nuclear winter
You may love her and have no intention of leaving her at this point, and she knows this, and won't stop----she is just plain out defying you, and dissing you
You must take HARSH ACTION, to force her to stop, if that doesn't work---well then you really do know where you stand
Take away her phone, take away he computer use---take away her money, take away her vehicle if she has one, take away her CC's, put all finances in an acct with your name on the acct, only---------make her see reality, you need to seriously threaten her little sexcapade, and you better not wait to long in taking some kind of action---if you don't act, you very well may not like the results of your inaction, and excusing!!!!!
Thank you guys for your comments. All comments are valued by me.
Sandc....Thankyou for your words....I gave him a kick to the face that almost knocked him out..UFC style. I may of broke a small foot toe...not sure...not able to bent middle toe in foot
I'm 99% sure there has been no sexual contact with my wife and the 23 year old boy. This is an emotional affair. My marriage is failing. My wife when we do fight slams in my face, I have never given a f*** about her in the 11 years of marriage, yet I felt we had a blast.
Bandit, I like to think that that I haven't learned to take the blame for her on all fronts....but there may be some truth to what you say. Planning to do 180 on her. I am worried that I made the OM into a martyr and gave my wife another cartridge for her gun.
Jnj express...Thank you for your comments....Most of your comments may be spot on but your recommendations are too harsh and I have seriously threaten her little sexcapade
First of all thank you to all those who me gave me some feedback. What I’m looking for is unbiased help. I stopped myself from ranting and going on how my wife is bad…… and just tried to paint a picture of what’s going on.
I know that my wife is reached a crisis point in her life…..her 4 surgeries…..her vicodin addition….. she complains about anxiety, depression, overwhelmed with emotions, mood swings, her blaming herself for the death of the best friend. Part of my wife must be thinking if she didn’t push for the last surgery then her best friend would not had it and her best friend must still be here.
This is her second marriage. She first got married at 18, and it was good for 3 years max and fell apart. Since 18, she put herself through college, had two/three part time jobs and was a mother. My eldest in my step daughter. She met me two years later got married very quickly…too quicky and popped out one kid after the other at a rate of one every two 1/2 years apart.
My wife has said to me that she has been put on the back burner for the whole marriage. She says that I haven’t given a f.. about her. It’s always being about the kids. I keyed the term package deal and she has bought it up multiple times. She feels she hasn’t been valued at all… and now it’s her time.
I accept my faults and wished she was able to tell me to my face….I’ve been this was ,but she hasn’t . I’ve been a great father but a crap husband.
But does all that has happened to my wife, excuse what she is going with this boy? Has she crossed the boundaries of marriage? The boy was caught by the police for prostitution. I found out that he has used prostitutes at least 4 times. Yet my wife refused to see this bad side of her best friend
The have never thrown a punch, since I was 14. I threw some punches and a kick to the face. My wife knows this and is waiting for me to tell her. There is no physical damage to him.
I can accept my wife having contact with a boy. The can text….call each other….whatever…..but they crossed a line. They talk to each other 12 min night…..1am 2am and 3 am. My wife will wake up and immediately check her Facebook. I have made it clearly to stop contact after 9 PM. Everytime I contact the boy….and told him what ever…sure enough my wife know…he couldn’t keep a secret from her. The boy has said to my wife that he would die without having contact we her.
I went to his home informing the older uncle I’m coming over. I wanted to tell him to his face once and for all….this end now…. I asked him to load his FB and started reading what my wife was saying to him….but within a few minute he pressed something making all the messages vanish…..that’s when I lost it and threw some punches and a kick.
Divorce for her is not the table. Her father and mom know everything. The boy is a nephew. The family will meet up at some time….
Your feed back please
The feedback has already been given. You already know what has been suggested and they are all good suggestions. If you don't take those suggestions then buy a big box of condoms. Give some to the nephew and keep some for yourself. You guys just share her until she dumps you.
I get the whole "keeping face" and "not wanting to bring shame on your family" thing. But what about YOUR family? It's as simple as this: YOUR dojo, YOUR rules.
Thank you guys for your comments. All comments are valued by me.
Sandc....Thankyou for your words....I gave him a kick to the face that almost knocked him out..UFC style. I may of broke a small foot toe...not sure...not able to bent middle toe in foot
I'm 99% sure there has been no sexual contact with my wife and the 23 year old boy. This is an emotional affair. My marriage is failing. My wife when we do fight slams in my face, I have never given a f*** about her in the 11 years of marriage, yet I felt we had a blast.
Bandit, I like to think that that I haven't learned to take the blame for her on all fronts....but there may be some truth to what you say. Planning to do 180 on her. I am worried that I made the OM into a martyr and gave my wife another cartridge for her gun.
Jnj express...Thank you for your comments....Most of your comments may be spot on but your recommendations are too harsh and I have seriously threaten her little sexcapade
He is not 15 years old boy. This is a 23 year old man who is after your wife.
Calling him a boy changes nothing. Why you would be ok with her communicationg with this man, I have no idea. at all. How about a 40 year old good ole boy?
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Re: The Phantom Boyfriend/mid life Crisis 
