Exactly, whats the point. I've held on long enough.
After her continually getting upset that I hold her accountable for her inappropriate behavior.
After the countless times she gets mad at me for telling her how much her behavior hurts me.
After all the times she throws my addiction in my face, but clamming up when I remind her that every single day, over 1000 of them, I give myself to her to process her resentments however she needs to, but she is too afraid to face them with me and finally move on with our lives together.
After her arguing with me via sms while I was at work all day today, culminating in this dialog:
_________________
Me:
Can you take some time and try and explain what you want from me, and what you want out of this.....whatever it is I will try to give it to you.
Thats all I've ever wanted to do.
Her:
I've told you what I wanted. You don't want it.
Me:
Remind me
Her:
Open marriage
!!!!!!!!
_______________
Thats when I walked in the house, served her divorce papers, and walked out of the house to go to my AA meeting.
Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?
Sounds like you have a solid plan to save yourself, which is what your focus must be at this time. She's told you what she wants, which is not what you want. Time to go. Good luck.
Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?
wow after you threw her out, she spent time living with someone else, just got done explaining, when you let him come back home, "that she didnt need any EA/PA intamacy with anyone else" she reverts back so immediately to her old ways?! Good job, please dont even look back, she is completely out of touch with reality. Just worry about your children.
Thanks for the kind words all. You guys here are literally the only people I can turn to for support. My parents lived in this town but they might as well be on mars. My stbxw's parents kinda became my surrogate parents, they new me better than my own do. They moved to hawaii last fall.
I know this isn't permanent, but I'm so emotionally confused right now. I feel good that I stood up for myself, it was liberating. On the other hand it still hurts that it didn't seem to phase her. The ****ty part is that I love her, but I have to do something to save myself as this is just sucking out every last but of strength I have left.
She is going to move on with her life not much different than it is now, just with so different last name. I feel like I'm going to be left with absolutely nothing.
I did get on antidepressants, so that will help once it builds up in my system. That will help. I also need to get back into counseling.
I'm going to try to figure out how to be alone for a while otherwise im just going to end up latching onto the next best thing and this whole roller cosaster is bound to happen to me all over again.
I'll keep you all posted, and thanks for thinking of me.
195Likes
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