Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off? - Page 11
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-01-2012, 06:02 PM   #151 (permalink)
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Exactly, whats the point. I've held on long enough.

After her continually getting upset that I hold her accountable for her inappropriate behavior.

After the countless times she gets mad at me for telling her how much her behavior hurts me.

After all the times she throws my addiction in my face, but clamming up when I remind her that every single day, over 1000 of them, I give myself to her to process her resentments however she needs to, but she is too afraid to face them with me and finally move on with our lives together.

After her arguing with me via sms while I was at work all day today, culminating in this dialog:

_________________
Me:
Can you take some time and try and explain what you want from me, and what you want out of this.....whatever it is I will try to give it to you.

Thats all I've ever wanted to do.

Her:
I've told you what I wanted. You don't want it.

Me:
Remind me

Her:
Open marriage

!!!!!!!!
_______________

Thats when I walked in the house, served her divorce papers, and walked out of the house to go to my AA meeting.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:07 PM   #152 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

Great job NG, and don't ever look back. You did the right thing.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:09 PM   #153 (permalink)
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at least I know I'm doing this for the right reasons. I'm not running away, for once im standing up for myself and whats right.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:21 PM   #154 (permalink)
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Good for you N! Stay on the 180 and treat her like furniture from now on. Keep us posted as to how it goes.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:36 PM   #155 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

How much time before the D finalizes?
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:46 PM   #156 (permalink)
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Damn good for you. She should be happy that's as open as it gets.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:47 PM   #157 (permalink)
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Sounds like you have a solid plan to save yourself, which is what your focus must be at this time. She's told you what she wants, which is not what you want. Time to go. Good luck.
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:50 PM   #158 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

Now that's the definition of manning up.
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Old 05-01-2012, 07:54 PM   #159 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

She's lost. Her brain is fried. I sure give you my sympathies.
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Old 05-01-2012, 08:21 PM   #160 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

Nexgen

Now you are free.

Free to get your mind and body truly free from negative influences in your life.

Your wife is just one of those negative influences.

I truly wish you all the best on your journey.

You took a courageous step today. I am confident you will find a partner worthy of sharing this journey that has the same values as you.

Stay strong.

HM64
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:23 AM   #161 (permalink)
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wow after you threw her out, she spent time living with someone else, just got done explaining, when you let him come back home, "that she didnt need any EA/PA intamacy with anyone else" she reverts back so immediately to her old ways?! Good job, please dont even look back, she is completely out of touch with reality. Just worry about your children.
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Old 05-02-2012, 03:09 PM   #162 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

How are you keeping up Nex?
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Old 05-02-2012, 08:54 PM   #163 (permalink)
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Thanks for the kind words all. You guys here are literally the only people I can turn to for support. My parents lived in this town but they might as well be on mars. My stbxw's parents kinda became my surrogate parents, they new me better than my own do. They moved to hawaii last fall.

I know this isn't permanent, but I'm so emotionally confused right now. I feel good that I stood up for myself, it was liberating. On the other hand it still hurts that it didn't seem to phase her. The ****ty part is that I love her, but I have to do something to save myself as this is just sucking out every last but of strength I have left.

She is going to move on with her life not much different than it is now, just with so different last name. I feel like I'm going to be left with absolutely nothing.

I did get on antidepressants, so that will help once it builds up in my system. That will help. I also need to get back into counseling.

I'm going to try to figure out how to be alone for a while otherwise im just going to end up latching onto the next best thing and this whole roller cosaster is bound to happen to me all over again.

I'll keep you all posted, and thanks for thinking of me.

-Rob
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:03 PM   #164 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I nuts? Blind? or can patience finally pay off?

Stay close to us...were your Band of Brothers (and Sisters ).

Last edited by bandit.45; 05-02-2012 at 09:37 PM.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:09 PM   #165 (permalink)
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