Looking thru holiday cards during THE time of the EA

highwood · 04-19-2012, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canttrustu

This is why Im quiet around my H alot. Im doing alot of thinking and trying not to say things unless they are fully thought out. I am NOT needy. I do NOT need him. I want him. I am doing my best to R. I have to say the 'want' I have for him has faded significantly. I think it will/can come back if/when he gets away from his job(her). But not before. Every day I have to hear her, see her email is just another day in hell. But I will not appear needy or whiney to him. He doesnt deserve for me to trust him enough to give my full emotion to him while he is still in contact with OW.

You know what..when I read your situation, it makes me realize that if she can cope with him still having contact and doing an amazing job at coping with it..then I really have to pull up my big girl panties and stop obsessing and giving up my power to some insignificant chick, who is no longer in the picutre and lives across the ocean ffs!!! You are my inspiration!!

I am thinking of you and hoping that the job works out for him!! Please keep us updated.

canttrustu · 04-19-2012, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highwood

You know what..when I read your situation, it makes me realize that if she can cope with him still having contact and doing an amazing job at coping with it..then I really have to pull up my big girl panties and stop obsessing and giving up my power to some insignificant chick, who is no longer in the picutre and lives across the ocean ffs!!! You are my inspiration!!

I am thinking of you and hoping that the job works out for him!! Please keep us updated.

Believe me I would buy that "person" a one way ticket to ANYWHERE she wanted to be other than square in the middle of fvckin up my life.(Yes, I know its HIS fault and Im dealing with that too)

Im glad you found a new way of lookin at it. Im glad. Hang in there, If she's out of the picture do your best to try to find a way to reconnect with your H before its too late. Provided thats what YOU want.

highwood · 04-19-2012, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canttrustu

Believe me I would by that "person" a one way ticket to ANYWHERE she wanted to be other than square in the middle of fvckin up my life.(Yes, I know its HIS fault and Im dealing with that too)

Im glad you found a new way of lookin at it. Im glad. Hang in there, If she's out of the picture do your best to try to find a way to reconnect with your H before its too late. Provided thats what YOU want.

I know..I do want that! Thanks for your words of wisdom!

I hope it works out for you....I am thinking positive thoughts for your H's job situation!!! You must be on pins and needles waiting!!!

sunshinetoday · 04-19-2012, 11:45 AM

I have been here too. My H gave me his "burner" phone the night of D Day. That's right- he handed it right over to me in the car. All the texts from the OW were still there.

After I looked through it I told him I tossed it because it made me so mad. Not true. I kept it. For about 6 weeks I kept it. I looked at those texts, those times, those words...ugh....so many times. Playing back in my head, where was I this day...what were we doing when she was texting him this, and on and on.

Finally one day (I thought I had them memorized-lol) I said, this is it. I can not look at this every few days. This was after I was really seeing true true remorse and change from him. I knew I had to get rid of that phone. But I wanted to hold onto it, in case OW came fishing-but ended up smashing the crap out of it. Someday's when I get in a funk replaying stupid things I almost wish I had it back to compare notes or whatever--to torture myself!! I know it was right for me to get rid of it.
Pictures of us together during that time, I can still barely look at.

canttrustu · 04-19-2012, 11:53 AM

I wish I had a magic power for 24 hrs. My magic power would be 2 pronged

1-this agony I feel gone
2-this agony I feel....he feels.

WhoIsIt · 04-19-2012, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canttrustu

I wish I had a magic power for 24 hrs. My magic power would be 2 pronged

1-this agony I feel gone
2-this agony I feel....he feels.

If you find that, please share. It always seemed like everything would be better if she could just know what I was feeling, how bad it really was.

I guess empathy is just about impossible unless you've had the same experience.

canttrustu · 04-19-2012, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhoIsIt

If you find that, please share. It always seemed like everything would be better if she could just know what I was feeling, how bad it really was.

I guess empathy is just about impossible unless you've had the same experience.

I have said a few times "you just dont get it do you?" and unfortunately on a cerebral level the answer is 'yes' but on a gutteral and soulful level the answer is clearly 'no'.