Beowulf

You hit on the heart of the problem. Neither party will ever truly understand the other. I know how I feel and most BS on here will understand me. But I don't know entirely how Morrigan felt/feels. I've looked into her eyes as she's tried to explain it to me. I've seen her struggle to try to form words to express her thoughts and feelings and know that she finds those words hollow and inadequate. I wish science would someday come up with a way to communicate feelings to others. I'd love to someday share that deeper understanding and connection with her.

hurtingbadly

It's really changed the way I view my entire life and past history. Course, I had the ten years in the dark. He cried the other day saying things will never be the same. He's right. But, it made me wonder... He knew for ten years he cheated, he didn't feel that way over those years? It was only when I found out he felt this way?

Ingalls

OMG I've been gone for a week from TAM (well reading bits and pieces when I can on the road). 6 pages on this topic took me a while this morning to catch up. I am SOOO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS KK. I hate it. I struggle with this Q daily.

I'm not sure why, but something inside me has "clicked" and for me I decided that my H was not himself. I got the ILYBINILWY speach on DDay. My time towards my business drove him away, all was blamed on me. He is slowly starting to realize this and actually has made comments recently to this effect that he doesn't know why he said that. He would help me and advice me on my business. Suggest the things I needed to do, etc. For months and months he has denied any depression during this time, but during MC she addressed it and he for the first time said he was depressed but can't stand to admit it bc he has lots of pride and blah blah.

Him starting to "see" this is helping me in my process. I'm not good with saying my own words, but I work with music and I jam to the Nicki Minaj "Fly" song LOTS- it's my new life motto.

I won't be the same. Ever. I'm guarded now and I won't let my heart ever get soft. But I DO hope we get back to the place where I can look at him someday with the trust and respect I once had. Otherwise I'm wasting time on working on R.

hurtingbadly

I'm not sure you ever get full trust back, do you?

omid_mankoo_author

As far as the diseases, many men are not focused on them. Meaning their mind is not programmed to think of them. I don't know if you know or not, but what a person what affects the person's mind. it alters the way a person thinks. obviously what one watches does not have to affect the person, because a person can make choices. so there are two factors involved the message and the choice of the person to go along with the message or not go along with the message being broadcast. I am speaking of various sexual presentations. however unknown to the general mass of public, when various sexual programs use mind tricks to trick the mind and impact it strongly, the viewer is no longer in total control of his own mind, because of the manipulations he is being affected by. Thus his behavior is altered, he starts a fight within himself like a battle of him against these inclinations which to him seem to come also from within him. Actually the inclinations are forced upon his consciousness, and that is why he mistakenly thinks its coming from within his own mind. anyway I can't write a book here. but do you see what I am getting at. in the various sexual programs they do not talk about diseases. hat is not their focus. their focus is PLEASURE and PHENOMENAL PLEASURE, even if they have to lie through every groan, just to convince the viewer tat what they are viewing is oh so fantastic, and that he is missing out on the most phenomenal pleasure. so the mind of the viewer is focused and programmed to focus on the pleasure not the disease. HE is not in his right mind, he is being mentally controlled. men are virtually helpless against these manipulations unless they know what is happening, and learn hat needs to be done to nullify the affects upon their minds, of course by practicing the methods of nullifying until they master it. Practice makes perfect. Mind you, they can do it, its just they have not known about the true nature of the problem, nor do they know about the solution. I would advise you look at the YOUTUBE VIDEO SEX ADDICTION CURE - Manipulation Revealed from Book: Open to Bliss by Omid Mankoo - YouTube

Sara8

This is so true.

The meaning of love within a marriage is not plastic. It is firm and forsakes all others.

There is no need to marry today. No stigma to being single or having children without a spouse.

So, if one can not honor marriage vows, why marry. Is it insecurity or selfishness, is that why they marry.

My husband when in the fog told me He loved me as his wife, but not as a lover. WTF.

Now, he claims he never said that, WTF.

He also saved some of her clothing, and when he misplaced it he accused me of finding it and throwing it out. I did not find it, but was hurt by this information and accusation.

He was in love and in lust, too.

But while he was boffing her, he did not and could not love me. He had fallen out of love with me and in love with her.

Now that he realizes what skank ho she truly is. A mother who neglects her children to cheat on her husband. A woman who is a serial cheater and uses her husband.... he now claims to hate her. Hmmmm, it's been said that you can only hate someone you love.

I don't hate her. I think she's a skank ho, but hate takes too much energy

I hate my husband sometimes for cheating, and sometimes I still love him.

I don't hate ex boyfriends I was not in love with because I did not want to marry them and was glad when those relationships ended. I did not save momentos of our time together, either

tacoma

Indeed

You do realize one can love someone while being incredibly selfish at the same time yes?
I stole money from my mom fairly regularly when I was a kid.
I must not have loved her while I was stealing that money.
My feelings for her ceased to exist when my hand was in her purse I suppose?
It`s more likely my love for her was put on the back burner while my self centered actions took the stage.
Doesn`t mean I didn`t love her.

That`s bull****.

In that moment he wasn`t thinking of his wife.
Has no bearing on his love, just his morality.

No, love is not an "action".

Love is an emotion that inspires action.
Love is a chemical reaction running along the neural pathways of an organism.
This is objective truth, has been substantiated.

Your experience isn`t mine nor is it anyone/everyone elses.