Re: Is it an affair during separation?
I know you think I'm delusional. I just absolutely 100% refuse to believe it was planned. *I* initiated the separation.
I'm not saying that lack of planning excuses her behavior, it doesn't. If it was "planned" it was no more than a few days in advance.
It was a reaction to emotions, to neglect, to feeling empty. A very inappropriate reaction. I know for sure it wasn't planned. Some close friends of hers who don't approve of her behavior have passed me information, shown me emails, etc. I never believed it was planned, and the stuff they showed me confirms that even more.
She wasn't dopamine or an affair fog. She was after validation (something I did badly in the last few years). She wanted to feel desirable, to feel valued by a man. She had become to doubt herself as a woman and wanted to feel that way. I think at some level we all, guys and girls, can relate to that feeling - we want to be wanted. We mostly don't choose such an inappropriate reaction, but most/all of us have had those feelings.
But you are welcome to believe what you want.